Posted on 10/31/2004 5:17:21 PM PST by PJ-Comix
In this Halloween edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, the DUmmies are haunted by the prospect of Kerry losing the election this Tuesday. Somehow, in this THREAD, they dont sound like a very confident bunch despite a few vain attempts at bluster. This edition will give you a taste of the medicine that the DUmmies will be swallowing this Tuesday. So Happy Halloween, DUmmies, and enjoy your treats for now for the big trick will be pulled on you this Tuesday. As usual, the DUmmie howlings are in Bolshevik Red while the tricks and treats provided by your humble correspondent are in the [brackets]:
What will you do if Kerry loses?
[Break out the champagne, run wild with glee through the streets, and desecrate a Kerry/Edwards sign with recycled tea-tea.]
I will probably be depressed to point of tears and make plans to move to Canada or Europe. Also drink a little to lessen the pain.
[May I recommend Wild Irish Rose, vintage 2004?]
Not gonna happen...
[ .until November 2.]
They can only steal it if it is close...I am convinced of that. It will not be close. Kerry will get 200+ EVs and 51%+ pop vote
[And 200+ electoral votes will STILL leave Kerry a loser since you need 270 to win.]
He's not losing. Therefore, I don't have to think about it.
[Hmmm .Not thinking seems to be a dominant DUmmie characteristic.]
Let's not get overconfident, people. This thing could go either way. Plus, let's not forget how dirty and underhanded the Bushites are. Things could get nasty. The only factor that I could think of that will help Kerry is the student voters (18-24). They have cell phones and are polled. Most of them appear to be leaning towards Kerry. Let's hope they will help. Still all of us better watch what the Bushites do.
[One dirty trick that the lousy Bushites are sure to pull is to insist that only registered voters can cast a ballot.]
Relax. Bush is losing ground all over the place. Seniors. Muslim-and Arab-Americans. Cuban-Americans. Everyone who's lost job. True conservatives. Some of the military and more of the veterans.
[Also French, Germans, dogs, cats, and fruit bats. Bush is losing ground among all those groups.]
Moving to Nicaragua regardless
[The Sandinistas are back in power?]
Get drunk, sleep, get back to fighting the intolerant right. We're not going anywhere.
[Good. I need you to stick around for more immortalization in the DUmmie FUnnies.]
1.) Enlist in the revolutionary brigade... if we wimp out and there isn't one, then....
2.) Move my family to Italy. I like the sound of "ex-patriot" more and more these days.
[And I like the sound of LEAVE more and more these days.]
if he steals it again you better believe that the revolution will begin. I'd be on the front lines.
[First you better get a permission slip from mommy.]
Take Nov. 3rd off. Make a waterproof protest sign and take to the streets.
[Waterproof sign? What are you going to do? Cover it with a raincoat?]
Withdraw...from all news...including DU...until I have licked my wounds. In 1980 when Reagan beat Carter, it took me two years. When Dukakis lost to Bush, I withdrew for a year or so. After Gore, two years plus.
[Some would argue that youre STILL withdrawn from reality.]
Try to go to sleep Wake me in 4 years.
[Could we make that 40 years?]
* would have to cheat but if he did and somehow managed to stay in, we will move for sure. Living in eastern TN has been hard because of people we know. Their values are completely different than ours and has proven problematic.
[I imagine it would be problematic. Your neighbors probably dont have nose rings and bathe more than once a month. Yes, they would seem to have different values than you.]
If Kerry loses...I will work harder. I will volunteer more. I will stay focused.
[And while youre at it, could you also mow my lawn?]
3 double scotches on the rocks
[ and a couple of hits on the crack pipe.]
If Bush manages to win this again, I have every confidence that before the end of the second term, he will do something, be caught at something that is impeachable,and so impeachable that even Republican Congressmen will not dare to not go forward with the impeacment, or if they do, their inaction will result in such hostility that they will lose many seats in the midterm elections. Enough from Democrats to revisit the impeachment.
[Hmm . It sounds like youre already had more than a couple of hits on the crack pipe.]
Scotland is paying people to come live there and start families.
[Except for families bearing usable teeth.]
He's gonna win. I dont have to worry about it anymore. I am comfortable now with the fact that John F Kerry will be the 44th President of the Unisted States of America.
[You are correct. Kerry will be President of the Unisted States of America while Bush will be President of the United States of America.]
Recycled tea-tea is what happens when you drink a lot of tea. Remember when Algore said he missed portions of some meetings at the White House because he drank so much iced tea that he had to go to the bathroom? What he did in the bathroom was go tea-tea.
"They have cell phones and are polled. Most of them appear to be leaning towards Kerry. Let's hope they will help. Still all of us better watch what the Bushites do."
Actually the opposite is true.
Idaho a lock for Kerry? Maybe in Bizaaro-world. Maybe the fool is talking about IOWA?
That DUmmy should have been honest and said, "One of those flyover states that begins with a vowel, I don't know which one, cuz I don't know s*** about geography."
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