DUmmie FUnnies Halloween Edition ("What will you do if Kerry loses?")

Various DUmmies and Assorted MOrons | October 31, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

In this Halloween edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, the DUmmies are haunted by the prospect of Kerry losing the election this Tuesday. Somehow, in this THREAD, they don’t sound like a very confident bunch despite a few vain attempts at bluster. This edition will give you a taste of the medicine that the DUmmies will be swallowing this Tuesday. So Happy Halloween, DUmmies, and enjoy your treats for now for the big trick will be pulled on you this Tuesday. As usual, the DUmmie howlings are in Bolshevik Red while the tricks and treats provided by your humble correspondent are in the [brackets]:

What will you do if Kerry loses?

[Break out the champagne, run wild with glee through the streets, and desecrate a Kerry/Edwards sign with recycled tea-tea.]

I will probably be depressed to point of tears and make plans to move to Canada or Europe. Also drink a little to lessen the pain.

[May I recommend Wild Irish Rose, vintage 2004?]

Not gonna happen...

[….until November 2.]

They can only steal it if it is close...I am convinced of that. It will not be close. Kerry will get 200+ EVs and 51%+ pop vote

[And 200+ electoral votes will STILL leave Kerry a loser since you need 270 to win.]

He's not losing. Therefore, I don't have to think about it.

[Hmmm….Not thinking seems to be a dominant DUmmie characteristic.]

Let's not get overconfident, people. This thing could go either way. Plus, let's not forget how dirty and underhanded the Bushites are. Things could get nasty. The only factor that I could think of that will help Kerry is the student voters (18-24). They have cell phones and are polled. Most of them appear to be leaning towards Kerry. Let's hope they will help. Still all of us better watch what the Bushites do.

[One dirty trick that the lousy Bushites are sure to pull is to insist that only registered voters can cast a ballot.]

Relax. Bush is losing ground all over the place. Seniors. Muslim-and Arab-Americans. Cuban-Americans. Everyone who's lost job. True conservatives. Some of the military and more of the veterans.

[Also French, Germans, dogs, cats, and fruit bats. Bush is losing ground among all those groups.]

Moving to Nicaragua regardless

[The Sandinistas are back in power?]

Get drunk, sleep, get back to fighting the intolerant right. We're not going anywhere.

[Good. I need you to stick around for more immortalization in the DUmmie FUnnies.]

1.) Enlist in the revolutionary brigade... if we wimp out and there isn't one, then....

2.) Move my family to Italy. I like the sound of "ex-patriot" more and more these days.

[And I like the sound of “LEAVE” more and more these days.]

if he steals it again you better believe that the revolution will begin. I'd be on the front lines.

[First you better get a permission slip from mommy.]

Take Nov. 3rd off. Make a waterproof protest sign and take to the streets.

[Waterproof sign? What are you going to do? Cover it with a raincoat?]

Withdraw...from all news...including DU...until I have licked my wounds. In 1980 when Reagan beat Carter, it took me two years. When Dukakis lost to Bush, I withdrew for a year or so. After Gore, two years plus.

[Some would argue that you’re STILL withdrawn from reality.]

Try to go to sleep… Wake me in 4 years.

[Could we make that 40 years?]

* would have to cheat but if he did and somehow managed to stay in, we will move for sure. Living in eastern TN has been hard because of people we know. Their values are completely different than ours and has proven problematic.

[I imagine it would be problematic. Your neighbors probably don’t have nose rings and bathe more than once a month. Yes, they would seem to have different values than you.]

If Kerry loses...I will work harder. I will volunteer more. I will stay focused.

[And while you’re at it, could you also mow my lawn?]

3 double scotches on the rocks…

[…and a couple of hits on the crack pipe.]

If Bush manages to win this again, I have every confidence that before the end of the second term, he will do something, be caught at something that is impeachable,and so impeachable that even Republican Congressmen will not dare to not go forward with the impeacment, or if they do, their inaction will result in such hostility that they will lose many seats in the midterm elections. Enough from Democrats to revisit the impeachment.

[Hmm…. It sounds like you’re already had more than a couple of hits on the crack pipe.]

Scotland is paying people to come live there and start families.

[Except for families bearing usable teeth.]

He's gonna win. I dont have to worry about it anymore. I am comfortable now with the fact that John F Kerry will be the 44th President of the Unisted States of America.

[You are correct. Kerry will be President of the Unisted States of America while Bush will be President of the United States of America.]

[granite]

Lexapro is the Lexus version of Prozac.
Although Forest Pharmaceutical plays the Lexapro side effects down, here are the Lexapro side effects they are required by law to warn you about:

Insomnia
Diarrhea
Dry Mouth
Somnolence (sleepiness or drowsiness)
Dizziness
Increased Sweating
Constipation
Fatigue
Indigestion
Ejaculation Disorder (male)
Decreased Libido (decreased sex drive) (both male and female)
Impotence (male)
Influenza-Like Symptoms (flu-like symptoms)
Appetite Decreased
Rhinitis (runny nose)
Sinusitis (inflammation of the sinuses)
Possible Impairment of Fertility (disability to get pregnant)
Danger of Birth Defects (Pregnant Females)
Passing of Drug to Nursing Babies
Danger to Patients With History of Mania
Danger to Patients with History of Seizures
Danger to Patients with Suicidal Tendencies (note: Drugs such as Lexapro have been present in numerous suicide cases, although drug companies have denied the drugs as causes)
Interference with operation of machinery including automobiles
Impairment of Judgment
Priapism (males) (Persistent, usually painful erection of the penis, especially as a consequence of disease and not related to sexual arousal)

[epow]

Take Nov. 3rd off. Make a waterproof protest sign and take to the streets.

Protest what?? The Democratic process?

I guess that DUnce thinks the will of the people is legitimate only if the people's will turns out to be the same as his. And they call conservatives Nazis?

[rdl6989]

I may have to resort to xanax.

It sounds like this DUmmy already takes "Xannies"!

[sweetliberty]

"We need to consider keeping enough Liberals alive to stock our Zoos, so out grandchildren will know what we dealt with."

Indeed.

[rdl6989]

Just had my lexapro dosage doubled I've been freaking out.

DUHHH! Do ya think the lexapro is causing you to freak out itself or is it the reaction of the lexapro LSD, and crystal meth?

[JesseJane]

ROFLMPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MHT]

Thank you so much. I've been wondering what the DU crowd is thinking.

I love the guy from eastern TN who shares none of his neighbors' values. Why, for pete's sake, is he still there? Why doesn't he move to CA or NY or MA? What kind of idiot would STAY if it's that bad? I know, a DUMBocrat!

[AVNevis]

FYI-Rosevelt didn't die until his 1944 elected term.

[MHT]

Wish you could post those gals on their site!

[JesseJane]

sHEESE..

Looks like they'll wind up where they started... HA! Like uh.. well, 1000 Pomeranians in a closet that have to go potty...

Can you imagine what it will be line with the Ritalin generation gives these folks a run for their medicine cabinet??

[granite]

Here is your chance to tell the DUmmies off. This thread is being mirrored over there.

I just posted this for all DUmmieville to see!

[MHT]

For the life of me, I can't figure out how their website works. I try and open a comment, and it's just the title again. Maybe I'm being saved from myself, because if I ended up there, I would stay there for entertainment instead of getting my housework done!

[granite]

 If you post it here at FR (click for link to thread), they will see it on DU on this thread, since a DUmmy posted the link to this thread over there.  We will probably be zotted soon.

[daguberment]

Here is your chance to tell the DUmmies off. This thread is being mirrored over there.

That's funny. I've got over 530 posts over at that insane asylum since May. Just playing with them and posting mostly commie, vegan, gay stuff. I hope they don't recognize me!

Skinner

[kingu]

Remember everyone at DU... VOTE NOVEMBER 3RD!

[BJClinton]

FRiend, I have to take issue with you on this one.

recycled tea-tea

You drink tea-tea or is that what y'all call tea in your neck of the woods?

3 double scotches on the rocks…

[…and a couple of hits on the crack pipe.]

At least he has good taste, I doubt he smokes crack...
*takes another sip of single malt*

[bootyist-monk]

Dubya Pumpkin Halloween Bump.

[maryz]

One thing we know: If Bush does not die before November 2, he DID steal the 2000 election just as we said - why? Because, according to records, all presidents ELECTED in years ending with 0 have died (from way back) or had terrible tragedies.

They can't even get their superstitions right -- from 1860, every president elected in a year ending in "0" has died in office (not always in their first term) -- until Reagan, who obviously didn't.

[bullzeye66]

>Kerry will get 200+ EVs
... and this person is eligible to vote - oh my, how scary!

[Nataku X]

LOL... I thought I was the only environmentalist at FR. You're among friends. I worry about a couple of people as well, and I believe there will be much violence after the election.


But, in the end, you've got to remember... they worry because they chose to hear a pack of lies (Michael Moore, drafts, etc.) over the truth. They refuse to open their ears to the truth. Lots of Biblical analogies here. Whatever path they take, they will have chosen it for themselves--and there is nothing we can do as humans to stop it, except perhaps to pray.