[Nataku X]

Clear Channel Woody, can you please ask the great Xzins-Master for advice?

My dog ran away, my boyfriend turned gay, my mother came down with Swahalian Spotted Jungle Flu, my uncle defected to the French army, my brother is a warmonger and an unprogressive Bush supporter, my father participated in an anti-peace march, and my sister got ran over by a bulldozer protecting the poor Palestians last week. But, worst of all, Suzi the cheerleader said that my new blouse makes me look fat. How can I survive this humilation?

Thank you! ;)

[CCWoody]

My dog ran away, my boyfriend turned gay, my mother came down with Swahalian Spotted Jungle Flu, my uncle defected to the French army, my brother is a warmonger and an unprogressive Bush supporter, my father participated in an anti-peace march, and my sister got ran over by a bulldozer protecting the poor Palestians last week. But, worst of all, Suzi the cheerleader said that my new blouse makes me look fat. How can I survive this humilation? ~ Nakatu X

Using the peepstone, the Xzins-Master has the following vision of Nakatu X:



Little Nakatu, take heart. Your dog is an infidel and you are way too much woman for your ex. He was obviously emasculated before he met you. Your mother will recover and your Uncle will soon victoriously lead a massive surrender of Iraqi troops. Your brother is right and your father has been unchained from the building he wrongly locked himself against. He is sheepish and realizes he was wrong. I cannot help with your sister, but you might try the new Pam undies (check FRmail for the pic).

Your friendly neighborhood Clear Channel
Woody.

P.S. The great one wants to know where you are?

[Elsie]

...my father participated in an anti-peace march....

Free the Stepford Three!

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Is THIS the sign he was carrying at the time?