Why Elizabeth (Smart) ‘Ran Away’ (Not kidnapped)

Newsmax ^ | 3/14/03 | Joan Swirsky

[hoosierskypilot]

I fell in love with my husband-to-be when I was 14, no doubt about it. How did I know it was love? I didn’t. But my adolescent instincts proved accurate. We married as teenagers and are now celebrating our 43rd anniversary – 43 years of undying love. So much for 14-year-olds not knowing how they feel.

I came from a family with strong values. Right was right and wrong was wrong; good was good and bad was bad. By the time I was 10 years old, I knew – as surely as Elizabeth Smart knew from her Mormon upbringing – what was right and what was wrong.

And for many years now, I have been a psychotherapist and what I have learned from my patients’ complicated lives is that appearances don’t count.

I remember one young woman, the daughter of a librarian and schoolteacher, who grew up in a suburban home of the most conventional values. Her “presenting symptom” was dissatisfaction with her job, but I soon learned that she dated men who picked her up when she stopped at a light and even met a man, at midnight, who had called the wrong number and gotten her instead.

Little Ms. Conventional, it turned out, craved the fast life, the life of risk and escape from her mundane background.

I had another patient who married her psychoanalyst. But before that, as a teenager, she spent endless nights at crap tables in Las Vegas, loving every minute. And as a “grown-up married woman,” as she described herself, she said that her “happiest memories in life” were of “dressing up and being there when the highest stakes were on the line.”

So, clearly, stereotypes of 14-year-old innocents – even presented by “experts” using the most sophisticated psychobabble or crime-fighters using the most impressive “profiling” data – leave a lot to the imagination.

Let’s consider one possible Elizabeth Smart scenario. Brian David Mitchell, the drifter (and probably grifter) who paraded through Salt Lake City as Emmanuel, the God-fearing evangelist out to save misguided souls, met young Elizabeth Smart’s mother on the street, where he solicited a handout from the inveterate do-gooder.

It wasn’t enough for her to hand him five dollars; she also invited him to earn more money by fixing the roof of her home, which he did one sunny afternoon in 2001.

That’s the truth, but let’s start to imagine what happened next. The charismatic Mitchell bumped in to the nubile Elizabeth. They talked. He was charming. She was smitten. And although his work was done, they both managed to communicate with each other outside the home over a period of time.

Finally, he might have said: “I want you to come with me, to leave your boring existence – where your father sheds crocodile tears and your mother is a stone – to live a more exciting life, of God, of costumes, of travel, of freedom.”

She may have had doubts, but she finally agreed to an “escape” that left her sympathetic in the eyes of her family but, at the same time, free to live the exciting life she craved.

And true to her expectations, what ensued was more thrilling than she had imagined. She heard people calling out her name but never answered back. She agreed to wear a costume in public that camouflaged her face but she never bolted from her “captors” as she had innumerable opportunities to do.

Even when she was caught by police officers this week and had the perfect chance to fly into their protective arms, she lied about her identity and denied being the Elizabeth Smart whose picture they showed her.

“Oh, that’s the girl who ran away,” she said. And when finally exposed, she asked first, not about her parents or her siblings, but about what would happen to the people with whom she had spent the last nine months.

And what about the so-called forensic evidence that experts said “proved” she was kidnapped, the screen that had been cut in the window of her home (a screen that was too narrow for most adults to squeeze through and that showed no fibers, no DNA, no nothing).

And what about the door that was unlocked, the one that other forensic experts insisted the intruder had both entered and exited? Who unlocked that door? Certainly not Elizabeth Smart’s parents!

And what about Elizabeth’s 8-year-old sister, Mary Katherine, who waited for over two hours to tell her mother and father about her older sister’s so-called abduction? Isn’t it credible or at least possible that Elizabeth entrusted her little sister, who idolized her, with her secret, assured her that she would be fine, and instructed her to “not say a word” until two hours had elapsed?

And what about Elizabeth’s demeanor after she was “found”? Why didn’t the “experts” concentrate on her obviously well-fed, away-from-home sabbatical? Her serenity? The relief one might have expected from a “hostage’?

And what about her family’s reaction – her father’s unconvincing tears and his all-too-eager willingness to go before media cameras and “live” broadcasts, and, as always, her mother’s “cool” reaction? Even during the first hours and on the first day that Elizabeth came home!

Brian Mitchell is, by any measure, a creep (as is his wife). But Elizabeth Smart clearly was attracted to this creep because he offered her a safe but exciting escape from her stultifying life.

My bet is that she will fit in once more to the Smart household. But when given the chance to escape again, she will fly the coop – with joy – but this time without the entire world speculating, erroneously, on her motives.

Good luck, Elizabeth!

[Grig]

"Let’s consider one possible Elizabeth Smart scenario."

After all, sticking to the known facts just ain't no fun.

"she also invited him to earn more money by fixing the roof of her home, which he did one sunny afternoon in 2001. "

Working alongside Mr. Smart if I recall correctly.

"let’s start to imagine what happened next"

that way we can make it a lot more interesting than it really is.

"The charismatic Mitchell"

BWAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!!!!

"bumped in to the nubile Elizabeth"

Oh please, she was far from 'nubile', she hadn't even started to bloom yet.

All we need now is a paperback cover with Fabio on it.

"And although his work was done, they both managed to communicate with each other outside the home over a period of time. "

Even though he is homeless and broke with no place to send mail to, no computer to email her (and her computer time was closely monitored by her parents) and they moved all over the place with the weather.

"to live a more exciting life, of God, of costumes, of travel, of freedom"

and having a knife held to your throat, being held captive in a cave for months, buried alive in cloth and surpressed

"at the same time, free to live the exciting life she craved. "

She was treated like dirt and looked pretty excited to be back home.

"She heard people calling out her name but never answered back."

knife, throat, think about it OK.

"She agreed to wear a costume in public that camouflaged her face but she never bolted from her “captors” as she had innumerable opportunities to do."

Stocholm syndrom, very common and normal in cases like this.

"she lied about her identity and denied being the Elizabeth Smart whose picture they showed her. "

SHE brought up the name 'Elizabeth Smart', not the police, and she never denied it once she was separated from her captors.

"“Oh, that’s the girl who ran away,” she said"

Probably that's what she was told the media was reporting it as, also, it isn't far fetched as at all to be able to kidnap her and break her down to the point where she is convinced that she did run away.

"she asked first, not about her parents or her siblings, but about what would happen to the people with whom she had spent the last nine months. "

Is there some reason for her to think the cops would have detailed information on the current state of her family members?

This is nothing short of digusting, taking a happy ending and trying to twist it into some sick sordid tale. These fantasies tell me nothing of the actuall events, but they sure do tell me something about the people who buy into them so quickly.

[valkyrieanne]

Re: your point about how the "advances of civilization" make it very difficult to trust the homeless drifter: a Missouri example of a child killed when her parent trusted one around her.

[valkyrieanne]

I think you're on the right track. Let's remember that Stockholm syndrome isn't some brilliant brainwashing technique, but a "syndrome."

That's right. It's apparently a natural response that many people have to a life-threatening situation where they are being held hostage. When the hostage-taker *doesn't* kill them, the person has a "survival response" that doesn't seem rational to outsiders, but is very rational for them in their circumstances.

Apparently the key is that the person taken hostage has to really, deeply believe that the captor *can* and *will* kill them if he wants to. When he doesn't, the victim begins to bond with him.

From what I read, it takes a long time to get over, and can really mess people up psychologically. You don't get over it just because you're home safe.

[Spiff]

And, you are more than right, I could have some deep misconceptions about what you believe Mormonism teaches. But, that is because I think you are not really a relevant source when it comes to Mormonism or Christianity.

You do have some deep misconceptions about the doctrine of the LDS Church. Trust me. And, apparently, I don't think you are a really relevant source when it comes to either the doctrine of the LDS Church (obviously!) or Christianity. I can play that way too.

Agree to disagree, that is fine. And, educate yourself further. I have educated myself to the best of my ability about the Moromon belief system. I find it to ring hollow, but that is just my opinion.

If you've educated yourself to the best of your ability, yet discount the explanation of a lifelong, practicing Mormon as "irrelevant", then I must question how much you've really "educated yourself" about the LDS Church and how credible your sources really were.

It is so incredibly annoying for people to tell me what I believe and my religion believes. I know that I'm a far better source than someone who hasn't lived it and studied it for a lifetime. But that is how bashers rationalize their false conceptions about the LDS Church when a member tells them that they're wrong. They then convince themselves that the members themselves don't know what they believe - and they continue bashing away like an idiot. Meanwhile, widows are not visited, children are hungry, the sick are ignored, and the bashers' true Christian duties are being neglected so that they can tear down someone elses faith.

[Palladin]

Two thumbs up, Grig, for that post.

[CARepubGal]

That is so sad but true. Many of the therapists are in their chosen profession to try and heal themselves (for some reason, it doesn't work so well). The picking at scabs analogy is rather gross but accurate. Deal with the situation without causing the patient to wallow. :-)

[Utah Girl]

Great rebuttal points.

[Utah Girl]

It's a fine line. I know there are people who really need psychological help. I've seen situations where people have gone to psychologists and a psychiatrist, and haven't been helped, because they aren't given the tools or the suggestions or whatever to help them overcome the abuse. they are just encouraged to relive the abuse over and over again. And they never get better...

[CARepubGal]

I wonder if the revisting of past really nasty events over and over would actually cause more harm to the victims than help. I think a group of women and girls that survived and got through their assaults would be helpful.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

"It is so incredibly annoying for people to tell me what I believe and my religion believes."

For the last time... did I quote the BOM?

Did I disparage Joseph Smith?

Did I talk about polygamy?

Did I demonize the head of LDS?

Did I talk about past scandals?

Did I rant and rave about temple ceremonies?

Did I bring up baptism?

Did I complain about the Mormon doctrine?

Did I tell you you were going to hell?

Did I judge you?

Did I quote the Bible to you?

Did I quote what the Christian church says?

Did I say I would pray for you?

Did I tell you what I believe about God?

Did I mention the Messiah?

Did I quote the OT and the NT?

Did I criticize LDS?

Did I call it a cult?

Did I criticize the faith of the Smarts?

Did I tell you what you believe?

Did I tell you what your faith says?

Did I mention celestial kindgom?

Did I mention prophecy?

I did say I don't consider you the source to which I would turn for clarification. I am not asking you for any clarification! I am not interested in your rantings about your faith. I am not interested in discussing my faith with you, either.

NOW, GO AWAY!

[hoosierskypilot]

I wonder if the revisting of past really nasty events over and over would actually cause more harm

Not to intrude, or anything, but I had a friend who was a Marine in Vietnam. His unit was overrun by the enemy and the choppers couldn't get in to take them out. He got out, obviously, but always had nightmares about that single episode.

He began going to a vet's support group that rehashed their old combat experiences. He said it made him worse to continue trying to solve the problem with the vets.

He quit the group and healed by not trying to heal, viz., he just focused on the rest of his life.

[Utah Girl]

I think differnt things help different people. I am struck by Alcoholics Anonymous, they tell the members to put their faith in a higher power. Perhaps talking with other women and girls would help too, it can be reassuring and helpful to hear how others have coped with the traumas in their life.

[Utah Girl]

My father has a master's degree in counseling, well, his minor was in counseling. He found that reality therapy was very helpful, acknowledging that something had happened, but then going on with life, and trying to make the best of things. I'll have to email him for a quote and post it.

[CARepubGal]

True. Everyone relates to trauma differently. The advantage to group meetings (they are anonymous most of the time) is the sight of someone who is a lot like you at different stages in dealing with the problem at hand. :-) Enjoy Massachusetts (and watch out for fat drunk Sinators in Oldsmobiles!) :-)

[Blood of Tyrants]

Thank you, moderator for erasing that comment. I would like to place a formal complaint against tracer and ask that his/her account be tagged for probation.

tracer, why is it bad for liberals to attempt to silence opposing views with name calling bad, but it is okay for you to do it?

After reading the preliminary analyses of several psychiatrists on their opinion, they ALL say that Elisabeth is NOT behaving as someone who has suffered though sever mental trauma and brainwashing.

Do you want to respond or just sling nasty insults?

[Utah Girl]

LOL! My sister lived in MA for several years back in the early nineties. She never could find anyone who admitted to voting for Teddy Kennedy. They all loathed him.

[CARepubGal]

God points! The amount of help someone gets from groups depends on the person. For a lot of women (generally a female kind of forum), knowing they are not the only ones who were (insert issue) is a huge help. I do hate seeing anything that causes wallowing in misery. :-)

[Spiff]

I did say I don't consider you the source to which I would turn for clarification. I am not asking you for any clarification! I am not interested in your rantings about your faith. I am not interested in discussing my faith with you, either.

I didn't mean to make you angry. My reply to you was a reply in general to everyone who had piled on. You may not have done the things you list - I didn't say you did. However, many people here make it a habit and I reached my limit today.

My point was not understood by you and many others. I said a bunch of outlandish stuff that I may believe about what the members of mainstream religions believe. I'm probably misinformed - just like...stick with me...those who tell me what I believe. Not you, necessarily, but others in this thread.

This was supposed to be a thread about some stupid psychotherapists idiotic theory about Elizabeth Smart. Because Elizabeth and her parents are LDS a few people here, as always, jumped in and started there garbage about the LDS Church and its doctrine. Again, not you necessarily, but it was here. These people can't resist. It is like an obsession - a kneejerk reaction. You say "Mormon" and they start quoting the Tanners' crap like it is at all credible.

You replied to me originally. I was just replying to you (and others). And now you're telling me to go away. Fine. Whatever. This thread is stupid that's why it got moved to the backroom anyway.

[CCWoody]

Come back to the free speech zone; that place where critical thinking is welcome. Please head back to the light.

[Blood of Tyrants]

Yes, I'll admit that is possible. But the way she "bounced back" makes it appear that brainwashing wasn't part of it.