Posted on 09/10/2021 11:32:12 PM PDT by nickcarraway
A GIRLFRIEND drew up a 17-page 'relationship contract' with her boyfriend just two weeks after they met on Tinder - demanding he pay for date nights, buy flowers twice a month and work out five times a week.
Annie Wright first met her boyfriend Michael Head in October last year and after deciding he was 'her person' they agreed to be exclusive soon after.
Determined to make the relationship work after having her 'boundaries crossed' in a previous toxic relationship, 21-year-old Annie joked they should write down their 'terms and conditions' for dating - and law student Michael eagerly agreed.
Shortly after Annie and Michael, 23, sat down and read out their own terms - including asking for 'a romantic gesture once every two weeks' and 'working out at least five times a week alone'.
Other clauses included 'no silent treatment' and him paying for date nights.
Now Annie credits the lengthy 17-page contract as the key to their relationship success and even suggested they might give each other a 'yearly review' when they celebrate their one-year anniversary next month.
Annie, from Atlanta, in Georgia, said: "This has been a game changer. I'd recommend all couples have one. It's the best thing ever.
"We treat our relationship almost like a business interaction. We deal with conflict like partners in business would. We sit down and treat it more like we're partners in life and love is an added bonus.
"He was like 'I want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend'. In order to be ready for that, we had to lay some serious ground rules.
"I made the idea [about the contract] as a joke then he said 'no, seriously. We can do that and talk about it'.
"Now we're approaching one year and when we rewrite it, I bet he writes 'I want you to take your shoes off when you come into my apartment' because I always forget that.
"It's getting it out the way. I highly recommend it. I'm surprised more people don't do it.
"We're partners in this. We're agreeing to tackle life together and this is our game plan for doing it."
Annie had just come out of a long-term relationship last year when she initially planned to enjoy life as a university student, partying and using dating apps.
But after matching with Michael on Tinder and inviting him on a dog walk, she knew instantly she wanted to make things work.
Annie said: "At the time, I had braces in college and I was very embarrassed. It was also pandemic time.
"But I got to the point where I was like 'screw it - I'm going on dates with guys and don't care anymore'.
"I matched with almost anybody on Tinder and would tell my matches 'I'm going on a walk with my dog at 2pm today - are you free?'.
"It was a fluke that I met him. I was going on three Tinder dates a week to go out there and meet people.
"I decided that living in a college town, I was never going to get this opportunity again.
"On his profile, he had a selfie of him reading a book. If I had gone into it with the mindset of finding a serious relationship, I don't think I'd have found him.
"I met him and was like 'I will make this work'. They say you meet someone and you're like 'wow, this is the person'.
"I had that moment with Michael where I was looking at him and he was everything I could ever have wanted in a partner, but at that stage in my life I wasn't at that point mentally.
"I was still partying and I'm a junior in college. He was top of his class, very organised.
"I was like 'this is the dude I want to marry but our lives don't correlate well'.
"It came to the point where we realised pretty quickly we were serious about each other, but I'd come out of a toxic relationship and swore off dating seriously.
"I met him and thought 'I'm going to figure out how to make dating work again'."
Determined not to fall into a doomed relationship again, Annie then agreed to draw up the contract and present it 'like on The Apprentice'.
Annie said: "We drew up individual contracts and came together like on The Apprentice and presented them.
"We printed out of terms and conditions, I went over to his place, we sat on either end of the bed and read them out loud.
"I felt like the biggest issue I had in my last relationship was it felt like boundaries of mine were crossed that I never established.
"I was like 'this time I'll write them out and no one can cross my boundaries'. Michael's also pre-law so he was pretty keen on the idea of making a contract.
"We talked about love languages. He was the one who brought it up. It helped to outline ways we feel appreciated.
"I don't think he'd think to give me gifts but now every time he goes to a gas station, he gets me flowers.
"He likes quality time, so I wake up and go to the gym with him. Even though most of the time I'm doing nothing, he enjoys chit-chatting.
"I don't like it when people pry - I'll talk when I'm ready and I like to get my words together. That's something I wrote in there.
"The biggest one was approaching issues. We agreed not to approach issues with blame. It could be partially his fault and partially me being sensitive, or him being sensitive and partially my tone.
"We don't treat issues like one person is to blame ever."
Now the couple are happily enjoying their relationship and believe others should consider their own 'terms and conditions' to help prevent conflict early on.
Annie claims they updated the document every six months and may even do a yearly review of what went well and what needed improvement.
Annie said: "People just fall into relationships. This makes me know what I'm signing up for. I live in constant fear of waking up two years into a relationship and realising my partner doesn't have the same life plan as me.
"You've put one or two years into a relationship but you don't agree on the core things. If you don't have that core connection, you're wasting time and prolonging heartbreak.
"At this point, we update it every six months or so. We'll visit it.
"Originally he'd say 'I probably need two or three days away during busy times in the year' but now we don't do that anymore. It'll just be quiet time where I'm still at his apartment but just with my headphones in.
"We revisit it and make a new document every so often. We keep joking that every year we'll do a yearly review.
"We'll say 'here are the things that were great this year, here are the things that need improvement'."
Ping
I was too smart for any Tiffany. I picked a Karen.
They both sound like idiots.
There used to be a time when people didn’t need a list of rules and knew how to use their time for when their partner wanted to sleep.
I know there are going to be lots of snarky comments but...
This is exactly what premarital counseling is about. Boundaries and expectations. Having those conversations before you are married prevents a lot of disappointment and acrimony.
Also, love languages is a thing and knowing your own and your spouse’s is how you keep the batteries sparking.
Thayer seem to be working out fine. She needs to share it outside of her relationship less.
Twice as good looking!!!
Her contract to him : 17 pages
His contact to her : 1 sentence (your imagination knows what the boy expects)
Yuck.
Our 45th anniversary was the 6th Thank goodness we never has premarital counseling.
“had”
Typing in the dark is overrated.
So much for trust.
Contract canceled week three.
😂😀😆🤣
She just got out of a toxic relationship.
But was she the toxin?
LOL
I want to break 💔 up with her right now and I’m not even dating her!
🤣
She’s already cheating...
This will be quicky divorce.
She’s just a media whole.
51 Years ago, the future Mrs Bwana Ndege and I agreed that:
1) We both loved our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ.
2) We both believed that God wanted us to become missionaries, probably to an “Unreached People Group.
3) We both wanted a large family, up to 6 kids, though we later decided to stop at 4.
4) That the Bible is the blueprint, the Manufacture’s Handbook, for a happy life together.
“How can two walk together, unless they be agreed?” Amos 3:3
The Greatest Gift
I Corinthians, Chapter 13
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is [d]perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
LOL... she totally opened up... put it all out there... no BS...
Love feisty females...
RUN!!!!
She’s 21??? I had her pegged for 41.
She should have demanded Arby’s only 1 night per week.
Then, some Vegetable Lasagna.
😀😀😀
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