'Cheap sex' is making men give up on marriage

NY Post ^ | September 2, 2017 | Larry Getlan

[EdnaMode]

Thanks to cheap sex, marriage may be doomed.

The share of Americans ages 25-34 who are married dropped 13 percentage points from 2000 to 2014. A new book by sociologist Mark Regnerus blames this declining rate on how easy it is for men to get off.

Regnerus calls it “cheap sex,” an economic term meant to describe sex that has very little cost in terms of time or emotional investment, giving it little value.

Regnerus bases his ideas, in part, on the work of British social theorist Anthony Giddens, who argued that the pill isolated sex from marriage and children. Add online pornography and dating sites to the mix and you don’t even need relationships.

The result is “two overlapping (but distinctive) markets, one for sex and one for marriage, with a rather large territory in between comprised of significant relationships of varying commitment and duration,” Regnerus writes in “Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy” (Oxford University Press).

In generations past, women generally made men wait until marriage to have sex. To get a wife (and, therefore, sex), men had to be clean and presentable and have a good job. This, Regnerus reasons, gave men all the motivation they needed to become respectable members of society.

Now with porn on-demand and greater reproductive freedom, sex is a commodity available at any time. This has left men with little motivation for marriage, writes Regnerus, who cites demographer Steven Ruggles’ prediction that one of every three people in their 20s will never marry.

[Twink]

Well said.

[Twink]

I’m sorry for your boys. And you. Society is in a sad state when marrying an “american” woman is a fate worse than hell. Should I tell my girls not to marry an “american” man because they’re all metrosexual effeminate losers?

Rhetorical since I would never do that to my children.

[Twink]

And others have proved what some men on this thread think and why it’s a good thing women are no longer beholden to men for their livelihood.

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I am thankful, blessed, fortunate that I married an American man like my husband. I am thankful, blessed, fortunate that one of my daughters is marrying an American man this month and hope my three other daughters marry American men. I just pray those men aren’t like many on this thread. But, I know they won’t be because I raised great kids. They’ve stayed away from those kind of men and will continue to do so.

[Twink]

The same kind of man who does. They aren’t worth it whether they are the mom/wife or dad/husband.

What kind of man allows his children to be raised by a woman who is bat shit crazy? My brother. A great guy, wonderful provider. Fortunately, his children got over their hatred of him when they became married adults. Her lawyer made sure she got everything including the kids. Until they were old enough to leave her and realize who really cared about them. I know he left them with her because it would have killed her to lose them and he didn’t want that. He got royally screwed financially and royally screwed with his kids.

He should have fought harder, he should have held his ground, he should have done a lot of things regardless of the judge’s ruling. But he didn’t. This is what divorce does to kids. At least they talk to him and sadly want nothing to do with their mother.

Marriage is wonderful but it’s hard and far too many people don’t value the vow they made.They don’t value the kids they made.

[Twink]

Not American for sure.

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Cowboy/truck drivers aren’t nice guys?

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I’m astounded that as a father you speak of your daughter in such a way. “eligible victim” “baggage she carries” WTF?

The more I read the posts on this thread, the more I understand how the breakdown of the family occurred in our society.

[Twink]

The men are pretty fat, too.

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Yes, the shame always fell on the unwed mother, never the unwed father.

[wardaddy]

I agree but it’s not like divorced men don’t have a point

My view of men and women today....white men and women...my tribe

The girls are brainwashed strident fools with destructive expectations of what they call a career that a man calls a job and having a family

And the educated men are sissies who submit to the women

It’s a bad mix

I can see why men marry Eastern European and Asian or traditional southern gals....who are getting rarer

or some latinas

I don’t know what I’d do to be honest

And I love women...I’m an anachronism viewing women as I do

Vive la diferance and all that

My biggest women realization as an old man with a strong lust streak is that women are not logical and not actually as love needy as men despite the conventional wisdom

And menopause is a real bitch....whew

My best buddy married a gorgeous polish woman....a great wife who lives for the marriage and not herself

[wardaddy]

Some girls like a nicely lovingly administered spankie

But discipline

I don’t agree sorry

I don’t need to discipline my wife...no way

I just have to stand up to her on occasion and be resolute to my convictionss

[Twink]

I haven’t had to ask permission since I was a child. I’ve been married for 28 plus years and have 4 kids.

What’s that saying? It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?

[kearnyirish2]

Even earlier, the original colonies were a refuge for Jews from the Inquisition; some left Spain for the New World rather than accept forced conversion.

Brazil was an odd situation where the people there wanted a Portuguese prince for their king; I don’t think that arrangement lasted long (and it was decades after the Spanish colonies were independent).

[kearnyirish2]

Sure; that is why I stated that if I wasn’t married with my own family I’d probably still live at home. I paid rent before I left, and here in NJ it certainly makes more sense than buying a home for a single person. School taxes are so high it makes no sense for a single person to buy a home here.

[wardaddy]

There is a viable place for prostitutes no question

Back page or online escort seems to flourish

I would likely indulge myself were I single and lonely

It’s just easier and she’ll indulge yer whims the wife or lover might balk at

We’re i alone and in need

Hell now there is Tinder and Sugar Daddy

My oldest daughter told me her friends ..late 20s ...said they would go to the beach with me for a weekend if they saw me in Sugar Daddy

I’m not super ugly or overweight and they know I’d be nice to them and of course most importantly $$

My daughters would scold me of course

Were I divorced or single...

It’s a frank world now..

All men pay for sex....you can call it Cèline bags or “security”

All fine looking baby making or just sexual partner ladies have some sort of expectation that cost money

It’s just life....cause they make the critter....

Romantic no consideration love is dead by 25

After that girls gonna look at what you can do for them

I live in a very rich county

Gorgeous women abound

It’s like that in any zip,code like mine

Coincidence my ass

[Twink]

We talked about it in my Catholic grade school and high school, but we didn’t understand it or it’s ramifications.

My mom talked to me about birth control (back in the 70s and 80s) and abortion, so I knew about it. My best friend got pregnant in high school and had an abortion and it floored me since I considered it murdering a baby and still do. My Mom said that with all the availability of birth control that abortion wasn’t necessary and birth control pills and other forms were the lesser evil.

Then when I had my own kids, I talked about it to them. Abortion is murder and wrong. A baby is always a blessing. If you find yourself in that situation, tell us and it will all work out. Birth Control isn’t a good thing but be practical and use it if you’re having sex. Don’t have unprotected sex ever (pill, condoms, etc.). But if you do, and you’re pregnant, then come to us and it will all work out.

My Mom and my Catholic schools talked about birth control and abortion. Numerous nuns telling us that this was a societal change of epic proportions. They were right. We just didn’t understand it at the time as kids and teenagers.

[Twink]

And men wonder why women aren’t interested in them lol!

[Twink]

So an American woman looking for a marriageable male should look overseas. Got it.

[Twink]

American men are such pansies. The unmarried ones are losers.