I woulda Photoshopped it for her... $10 tops.
There are parents of special needs kids who are "drama-enhanced", just like there are parents of "normal" kids who are. However, your chances of meeting them are much lower. Why? Because everything they do with the filter of "how is this going to make my kid feel?" They are focused on empathy-- quite often for kids other than their own-- and they'll spot the "slight" to your kid before you do, most likely.
The majority of these parents DON'T WANT their child to be "the center of attention". They want him involved with other kids. They want him to fit in, as much as possible, with other kids. They want him to have as close to the quality of life of other kids as he possibly can. They don't want to drag the rest of the class down to their kids' levels-- they want to raise their kids to the level of the other kids. ANYTHING ELSE puts the spotlight on their kids and, trust me, that's not where they want it.
I'll wager that, if you were to actually ask the mother in this story, far from wanting her kid in the center of the class, she'd want him toward the edge, but among them.
For those of you that say that this is not a slight, but just a bad picture: you're right. I'm sure the photographer didn't intend to leave that kid out in the weeds for the picture, and neither did the teacher.
For those of you that say that the fact that it's not a slight is the point: you're also right. The constant struggle and wish of parents with children of special needs is that, with just a bit of compassion-- with just a bit of situational awareness-- from those around them, their child's life would be that much richer. And it can be done without dragging everyone else down!
How could this particular picture been better handled? The photographer could have easily moved the kids over, or down a row, with the chair to the front, but toward the side of the bleachers. The teacher could've been on the other side. There are a myriad of ways that this extremely awkward picture could have been better prepared.
Here's where I deviate from the "lack of a slight" crowd: The teacher had been with this student for several weeks to several months (depending on when their school takes its pictures). The kids had been with this student for the same period, or perhaps years. The fact that the teacher didn't step up and stage this better, or that one or more of the students didn't, on their own, tells me all I need to know about the dynamics of the classroom (barring some draconian pronouncement by the photographer).
Sure, the kid is smiling to beat hell. He has no clue what's going on here. Sure his Mom is heartbroken-- but I bet she never tells him that. Someday, though, when he's looking back through his photos, he's going to realize what this picture represents. His mom will be reminded every time she views it.
Yeah, it's only a class photo. It's too bad that this photo isn't one amongst thousands where he can be seen smiling as he's riding his bike, graduating from Army Ranger School, walking down the aisle with his bride, jogging along side his first-born as the training wheels come off for the first time... It's too bad that this picture is going to be among only a few.
And now for full disclosure: I'm the oldest brother of an Autistic kid. I grew up watching my parents attempt to deal with people the likes of which I've read the posts here. I've seen them fight for just a bit of decency from people who, given their way, would banish him to some island, so as not to temporarily inconvenience them in the slightest-- to force them to think of anyone but themselves. My parents who only want my brother to live the fullest, richest, most normal life he can.
I'm now the father of a completely ordinary son-- one who, unlike my little brother, would LOVE to be the center of attention, and thankfully doesn't have to struggle with the same things he has-- but is fully aware that some people do, and will hopefully approach things at 10 years old with more maturity than I'm seeing from many on this thread.
Don't bother arguing with me-- it's not my intent. I only wish to open your eyes just a bit. Some of you are wrong, and your argument is with God and yourself, not with me.
The class was centered upon the bleachers. Had they positioned the class to the far right from the camera perspective, the boy would have been closer to the class but the bleachers would be empty to the left of the group and the teacher would have to find another place to stand, perhaps behind the chair?
Some of the people here are really heartless and have obviously never had to raise a child who has a disability.
the photographer could have easily moved to class to the right end - leaving no gap between them and the boy - the clueless teachers could have arranged that as well -
those that think ‘mommy’ is being over sensitive - may you never be in her shoes. Thank your lucky stars. And lower your noses a bit. Rarified air clouds understanding...
It is unfair to characterize posters here who do not view this as a big deal as insensitive or uncaring. Just because they don't see it as an extreme tragedy does NOT mean they want to ship all disabled people off to an island or that they would stand by and do nothing if "jackals" were tormenting this child.
That sort of exaggeration is what conservatives criticize liberals for doing. If you disagree with the homosexual lifestyle, you want to "send them all off to the gas chambers"! Or liberals "decide" that Native Americans are "offended" because a sports team has an Indian name, so we must change it after 50 years. Even if no Indian has ever complained. We need to follow the lead of the child, not the mother in this case!
And yes, I have a very close relative who is disabled. No fewer than 14 professionals are assembled several times during the school year to manage her individual learning plan, physically, psychologically, therapeutically (speech/hearing), technologically, and educationally. (Not all school tax dollars go to teacher bennies.)
The family of this girl takes their cues from the girl herself. They also try to give her as many experiences as possible, to dilute the negative experiences of being stared at or whispered about by strangers.
Pay attention to the child, not so much the mother. There are lot of raw emotions from those with special needs children, understandably. There is heartbreak every day. It's really hard, but adults need not to make their heartbreaks the kid's too. He has his own, and they might not match up with yours.
I hope that Hollywood will pick up this tragedy and make an Academy Award Winning entertainment vehicle product out of it. Just be sure to bring your hankies!
I agree....they should have put the child in a more incorporated way absolutely
Anyone has kids.....especially a handicapped one....understands
It makes a poor kid with a tough hand dealt feel a bit better..and belonging.....
And costs the rest of us nothing
Oh yeah...and I am such a puss right?
I peruse this thread and see that the least sympathetic usually post hostile and acerbic on any topic
And some are kind of my forum buddies...lol
Not me....I am an easy weep for kids like this
Wonder how many if the hard cores here have any children
And here I was expecting to see one of the boys in a dress.......
[/sarc]
Maybe they should have put them all in wheelchairs so the kid can grow up thinking everyone is the same...
Both the teacher and the photographer could maybe make that mistake, but upon seeing it should've retaken the picture. I honestly thought teachers were trained about how to avoid situations like this.
In any event amid all the bloodshed on this warm feeling thread I have just one last thing to emphatically proclaim
Teacher is most definitely NOT GUILTY!
No, he didn't have to be the center of attention with a big "group hug" about him, but there shouldn't be such a gap. This could easily have been fixed by having the teacher on the right side of the photo instead of the left, and having the kids shift down that way.
Of course, that would require moving the camera, and those guys set up once at the beginning and that's the end of it.
But "mama drama" aside, it's a terribly composed picture.