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Keyword: notfunny

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  • Babylon Bee: Woman Immediately Healed After Touching Hem Of Trump's Suit Jacket

    10/06/2020 11:54:02 AM PDT · by ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas · 22 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 10/06/2020 | staff
    The woman came forward and declared in the presence of all the Trump supporters why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. And Trump said to her, “Lady, I'm telling you, and I'm telling you right now, Your faith has made you well. Now go and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”
  • A Possible Debate Gaff Tonight.Imagine If Joe Biden Calls Chris Wallace "Mike".That Would Be Pretty Embarrassing.

    09/29/2020 5:02:20 PM PDT · by TealsGuy17 · 13 replies
    And this would be of no surprise.Remember when Joe Biden called Chris Wallace "Chuck". And what if something similar happens tonight? If it did, it would likely go something this. Biden calls Chris "Mike", then Chris Wallace responds by saying, "Excuse me Vice President Biden, but my name is Chris Wallace". Then Biden apologizes. Then Chris brings up that maybe Joe Biden got him mixed up with his father. Chris then says something like, I'm sorry Mr.Biden, but my father Mike Wallace died in 2012. Maybe you have forgotten that? Biden then responds with "Oh,Oh, I'm sorry Mike, God Love...
  • I'm sorry, but I probably wasted a few taxpayer dollars just now.

    08/16/2020 1:28:32 PM PDT · by dangus · 29 replies
    IRL | 2020-08-16 | Dangus
    I filled out the census card like six times already and it's not my fault I've been doing genealogy research, lately. (Details have been changed to maintain my privacy) Census worker: OK, I just have to ask this. You're not Hispanic are you? Me: Si. CW: *looks up at me, disapprovingly.* Me: Non. CW: I have to ask this. Are you black? Me: No. CW: [Wife]'s white, too? Me: Yes. CW: Is [Wife] female? Me: You're asking about the household on April 1, you said, right? CW: Yes. Me: You can him down as female. CW: Your son? Me: Definitely...
  • BOOM! BAM! BOMBSHELL!

    08/05/2020 7:28:03 AM PDT · by shotgun · 79 replies
    08/05/2020 | Shotgun
    I propose that from here on out that any reference to any post that contains BOOM!, BAM!, and or BOMBSHELL! must use this graphic as it defines all of the above
  • Oops! Poll Workers at Nine Arizona Voting Sites Forgot to Deliver Results

    08/07/2020 9:07:27 AM PDT · by rktman · 38 replies
    townhall.com ^ | 8/6/2020 (1815 edt) | Madeline Peltzer
    Arizona’s primary election was Tuesday, but voters and candidates still don’t know the results in some of the most contentious races. That’s partially because poll workers at nine vote centers "forgot” to retrieve the data packs holding the results information. According to the Arizona Republic, each of the state’s 99 voting centers were equipped with two tabulators. After voters filled out their ballots, they fed them into the machines, which counted the results. The information was stored on memory packs in the machines. But at nine centers, poll workers failed to pick up these packs before they headed back to...
  • Hangin' in the Attic

    07/22/2020 2:01:16 PM PDT · by Mrs. Warrior · 31 replies
    When we were stationed in Germany in the mid 80's I was heavily pregnant with our second child,. The prenatal medical care was very poor, they let me go over my due date by three weeks and our son arrived on his father's birthday, so I gave my husband the best birthday present ever! We were living on the economy near Schweinfurt in an attic apartment owned by a German couple, the Ecks, who did not speak English very much, nor did we speak German very well at all. Before I had our son I was trying to get all...
  • My newest meme is a picture of Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend. The caption says, “I hope I get old before I die.” Please feel free to share it.

    05/21/2020 5:08:38 AM PDT · by grundle · 46 replies
    Wordpress ^ | May 21, 2020 | Dan from Squirrel Hill
    My newest meme is a picture of Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend. The caption says, “I hope I get old before I die.” Please feel free to share it. Click here to see a bigger version: https://imgflip.com/i/428gfi
  • I created this COVID-19 meme based on The Simpsons. Please feel free to share it!

    04/08/2020 3:17:30 PM PDT · by grundle · 49 replies
    Wordpress ^ | April 8, 2020 | Dan from Squirrel Hill
    I created this COVID-19 meme based on The Simpsons. Please feel free to share it! I created this COVID-19 meme based on The Simpsons. Please feel free to share it!There’s a bigger version at this link: https://imgflip.com/i/3vwy2q
  • I created this COVID-19 meme based on the TV show “Freaks and Geeks.” Please feel free to share it.

    03/29/2020 11:49:32 PM PDT · by grundle · 5 replies
    Wordpress ^ | March 31, 2020 | Dan from Squirrel Hill
    I created this COVID-19 meme based on the TV show “Freaks and Geeks.” Please feel free to share it. Full size image at https://imgflip.com/i/3ulo88
  • SATIRE Hillary Clinton Accidentally Posts Condolences For Tulsi Gabbard's Suicide One Day Early

    01/27/2020 3:21:15 PM PST · by metmom · 17 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | October 23rd, 2019
    U.S.—Oops! A social media scheduling error apparently caused Hillary Clinton to post her condolences for Tulsi Gabbard's suicide one day early. This morning, Clinton posted that she felt "great sadness" at hearing that Gabbard had killed herself. In subsequent tweets, she detailed how "tragic" it was that Gabbard had broken her own kneecaps, stuck her feet in concrete, then tossed herself off the docks near a seedy warehouse. "It's just terrible what happened, and though we disagreed, I hope we can all take a few minutes to send thoughts and prayers to the family," Clinton concluded. The post was deleted...
  • Kevin Hart Confirmed to Host 91st Oscars

    12/04/2018 5:40:30 PM PST · by EdnaMode · 34 replies
    Hollywood Reporter ^ | December 4, 2018 | Scott Feinberg, Borys Kit
    Kevin Host is officially set to host the 91st Academy Awards ceremony. "I will be sure to make this years Oscars a special one," the comedian wrote Tuesday afternoon in an Instagram post, adding, "now it's time to rise to the occasion." The star is emceeing the event for the first time. First-time producers Donna Gigliotti and Glenn Weiss will oversee the show, with Gigliotti serving as producer and Weiss on hand as co-producer and director. Earlier on Tuesday, The Hollywood Reporter reported that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences had held talks with the comedian about hosting...
  • NEW INTELLECTUAL FROGLEGS "While My Liberal Gently Weeps"

    10/06/2018 12:16:55 AM PDT · by Company Man · 9 replies
    Intellectual Froglegs ^ | October 6, 2018 | Joe Dan Gorman
    Another excellent commentary by Joe Dan. Includes the Kavanaugh Hearings debacle.
  • Avenatti Bombshell: Claims he has Photos to Support New Allegations Against Kavanaugh (SATIRE)

    09/23/2018 6:04:37 PM PDT · by Alberta's Child · 18 replies
    Self | 9/23/2018 | Alberta's Child
    High-profile celebrity attorney Michael Avenatti emerged on Sunday evening and demanded to have a witness testify to the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee before they vote on Brett Kavanaugh's nomination to the Supreme Court. He claims he has compelling evidence of sexual allegations against Kavanaugh. He claims he can name Kavanaugh's long-time sexual partner, and even presented photos to support his allegation that this relationship involved not one, but TWO pregnancies.
  • Wanda Sykes to Ivanka Trump: '[bleep] you'

    06/22/2018 1:30:48 PM PDT · by ChicagoConservative27 · 66 replies
    washingtontimes ^ | 06/21/2018 | Jessica Chasmar
    Another Hollywood celebrity launched a vulgar tirade at the Trump family — this time it was comedian Wanda Sykes attacking Ivanka Trump for applauding her father’s reversal of separating illegal immigrant families at the border. “BITCH PLEASE!” Ms. Sykesreplied to the first daughter on Twitter. Ms. Trump had thanked the president for signing an executive order temporarily ending family separation at the border and called on Congress to come up with a permanent fix.
  • Al Franken blasts Facebook, election meddling in first speech since resignation

    05/02/2018 12:53:38 PM PDT · by seanmerc · 14 replies
    CBS News ^ | 2 May 18 | Emily Tillett
    In his first major public speech since resigning from the U.S. Senate, Al Franken returned to the spotlight to deliver a blistering rebuke of tech companies, specifically Facebook, over abuse of users privacy data while speaking at a cybersecurity conference in Lisbon, Portugal.
  • T Kathy Griffin Carnegie Hall show sells out in a day

    03/19/2018 6:55:48 AM PDT · by rktman · 36 replies
    wnd.com ^ | 3/19/2018 | unknown
    There are about 20 seats left in all of Carnegie Hall that haven’t been sold for Kathy Griffin’s comeback concert on June 26th. Most of those seats have obstructed views, or are so high up that you’d need binoculars to see the comedian whose career was almost kiboshed for good last year. What happened? In May 2017, famed photographer Tyler Shields shot her holding the bloody, decapitated head of Donald Trump. The right wing went crazy, she was criticized and ostracized. How dare she do that a sitting president? Well, thankfully, people have calmed down. The decapitating (let’s not get...
  • Sarah Silverman 'Scared' and 'Shaken' By Raising of American Flag

    12/09/2017 6:54:37 AM PST · by Bon of Babble · 86 replies
    Truth Revolt ^ | 12/08/2017 | Alex Parker
    Sara Silverman recounts a time when she “felt very weird” and “scared”: when her boyfriend at the time was raising an American flag in his yard.
  • Pentagon Recommends Nation Play Through All ‘Fallout’ Video Games In Preparation (tr)

    11/28/2017 5:04:24 PM PST · by Ciaphas Cain · 41 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | November 28, 2017
    Pentagon Recommends Nation Play Through All ‘Fallout’ Video Games In Preparation For Imminent Nuclear ApocalypseWASHINGTON, D.C.—Hot on the heels of yet another ballistic missile launch in North Korea, the Department of Defense recommended Tuesday that all citizens begin playing through a binge gaming marathon of the Fallout series of video games in order to prepare for life in the nuclear wastelands.Speaking on an emergency public broadcast video, Secretary of Defense James Mattis stated that all Americans should consider picking up all of the core Fallout games, should they wish to have the experience and skills necessary to survive the coming...
  • TWITTER: Here is the scandal that will finish Judge Roy Moore -- the dead girl

    11/09/2017 6:44:14 PM PST · by doug from upland · 72 replies
    Twitter ^ | Nov 2017 | DFU
  • CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s Family Were Slave Owners – Owned Michelle Obama’s Relatives!

    08/21/2017 3:44:03 PM PDT · by TigerClaws · 96 replies
    As the face of CNN, Anderson Cooper makes a very good living as wealthy, privileged white man casting judgments of affiliation upon his political enemies. This includes taking a handful of idiotic white supremacists and declaring they represent millions of Republicans/conservatives, pro-America, Trump supporters, etc. And yet Mr. Cooper himself has a much closer affiliation to slavery than he likely wants his leftist viewers to know. As a descendant of the Vanderbilt family, one of the wealthiest “old money” families in American history, Cooper is a direct descendant of big time slave owners. Cooper’s great-great grandfather, Cornelius Vanderbilt, owned several...