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WELCOME TO ADVENTURE! WOULD YOU LIKE INSTRUCTIONS? >YES YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN BELTWAY FOREST, WHERE SOME HAVE FOUND TREASURES OF GOLD ALTHOUGH SOME HAVE ENTERED AND NEVER BEEN SEEN AGAIN. MAGIC IS SAID TO WORK IN THE FOREST. I WILL BE YOUR EYES AND HANDS. DIRECT ME WITH SIMPLE COMMANDS. Continued

Dear Reader: Good news! This coming Sunday is 10/10/10, which has been officially designated as global Carbon Action Day. Which, as I understand it, involves scaring up some action by way of our old miracle friend carbon - a/k/a "Gaia's gift to the periodic tables." Continued

IowaHawk starts us off. Your turn.

An impressive piece of work to be sure, especially when you consider the amount of effort that went into its making. It might even make a boffo Harvard Business School case study. Continued

<p>From Barack Obama's Big Book of Stump Speech Parables: Thank you for that kind introduction, _EMCEE______, and let me say how good it is to be back here in the __th district of _STATE___ which was so vital in helping us take back Washington in November of 2008. And let me also say that we've made a lot of progress thanks to __DEMOCRATIC_CANDIDATE__. Neither I nor the __th district has had a more loyal and hard-working ally in Congress.</p>

I'm Beginning to Believe This Obama Fellow Is Unequal to the Task by T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII Intellectual Conservative At-Large Summer once again tiptoes in on crepe soles to the eastern extremities of Long Island; affording, as is its wont, fresh opportunities to enjoy the providence of nature and the financial acumen of one's forebears. Despite the looming spectre of global climate change the lawn is verdant and lush, and my gardener Hideo informs me the hibiscuses are in especially fine fettle. Much to the relief of his mother (if not the household staff) young T. Coddington VIII has...

If It Is a Fight These Jacobins Want, Then It Is a Fight They Shall Have T. Coddington Van Voorhees VIIConservative Intellectual At-LargeSuch are the vicissitudes of our current political zeitgeist that Homo Republicanus is each day forced to endure a fresh assault on his intelligence somehow more insulting than the last. Doubly insulting, as you no doubt imagine, when the Homo in question is me. Contrary to what you may assume, the gift of intellectual acuity and foresight can in times like these prove to be an almost unbearable cross; I shall not use this space to recount the...

Barack, can we, uh, talk for a few minutes? Oh, nothing. It's just that it just seems we haven't had a chance to talk for a while. I mean, I know we've both been busy for the past year or so. Continued

Jim Treacher reports that former child actor (and pride of the Evanston Township HS English Department) John Cusack has discovered the joys of Twitter, with somewhat predictable results. Continued

Northern California reader "Patvann" takes the pulse of the American zeitgeist at a local booze outlet and senses a disturbance in the Unicorn Force: "So my brother and I go to our nearby friendly neighborhood liquor store, to buy our daily requirement of what my Wisconsin relatives refer to as, “barley-pop”. As I walk past one of the refer-cabinet doors, my eye catches the label of a beer: 'Limited Release LAGUNITAS say “lah-goo-knee-tuss” W I L C O T A N G O FOXTROT A Malty, Robusty, Jobless Recovery Ale’ We’re not quite in the Red, or in the Black…...

<p>NEW YORK - Charges of racism, sexism, and religious discrimination filled the air this afternoon outside the just-completed Cordoba House, the gleaming new $100 million 15 story mosque and Islamic cultural center near the ruins of New York's World Trade Center, following a tense 5-hour standoff prompted by the mosque's refusal to host a wedding between a lesbian African-American woman and her blind white transgendered partner.</p>

NEW YORK - Charges of racism, sexism, and religious discrimination filled the air this afternoon outside the just-completed Cordoba House, the gleaming new $100 million 15 story mosque and Islamic cultural center near the ruins of New York's World Trade Center, following a tense 5-hour standoff prompted by the mosque's refusal to host a wedding between a lesbian African-American woman and her blind white transgendered partner.

I like to think of myself as two things: (1) an optimist, and (2) a car guy. Unfortunately, the age of Government Motors has made those two things increasingly irreconcilable. And nothing better illustrates this than the sad devolution of car music. Consider, if you will, Chevy's once proud musical history: In the Fifties, Dinah Shore famously saw the USA in her Chevrolet. In the Sixties the Beach Boys saved their pennies and saved their dimes for a 4-speed dual quad positraction 409, while Shutting Down a 413 Superstock Dodge with a fuel injected Stingray; Paul Revere and the Raiders...

The Two Randy Vicars from Baudy Tales for the Indifcreet Gentleman (ca. 1710) by AnonymousIt happened that in Washingtown-on-Beltway there once ministered to the shire folk two vicars of remarkable and resolute piety. Polite history shall record their names and peerages as the Reverend John St. Edwards, Lord Plaintiff of Durham, and the Reverend Albert des Gores II, Earl Carbonet of Greenhouse. Continued

Having never been famed for skills in pith and verbal parsimony, I wasn't quite sure how @iowahawkblog would be received when I enlisted in that wacky new teen internet craze Twitter last month. Imagine my surprise and delight, then, when I discovered yesterday that my tweets had earned me the distinction of a listing of people scheming to DESTROY AMERICA!! Continued

Welcome to the Journolist Top Secret Progressive He-Man Wingnut Haters Club and L33t H4xoR Chat Room. Disclaimer: this is a private discussion forum intended solely for the benefit of JournoList members. Reproduction, transmission, redistribution, or description, in whole or in part, of any content (including, but not limited to, private insults, insider innuendo, political manifestos, hair styling tips and/or gossip) without the expressed written consent of the commissioner is strictly prohibited. Please read and agree to the User Consent Form. And, as always, remember the first rule of JournoList: there is no JournoList. Continued

I'm Beginning to Believe This Obama Fellow Is Unequal to the Task by T. Coddington Van Voorhees VIIIntellectual Conservative At-LargeContinued

It's the middle of the day on a deserted Washington street. You're on your way to a reelection fund raising brunch. Suddenly a gang of crazed camera-wielding teabaggers jump out from the alley and lunge at you with their razor-sharp switchblade questions!Continued

The Golden Girls From Brazil opening montage / themeDanke for being a freundIn all those press pools that you once joinedYou aren't a Jew, you're almost an Aryan. And if you threw a Nazi PartyJust like we had in '42You would see a big old can of Zyklon-BAnd the card attached would say danke for being a freund. Interior shot: a condo at Del Speer's Boca Vista Nazi retirement village, Rio de Janiero. Workmen, supervised by condo board president Rudy Hess, are moving furniture and boxes out.Continued

Crudezilla, King of All Spills (1954) In the dark, storm-tossed Sea of Japan, workers in helmets and jumpsuits wrestle a drilling rig on a lonely oil platform.NARRATORThis is the sea. Beneath its depths lies a fantastic secret world hidden to mankind for millions of centuries. And now, armed with the latest technology and rush drilling permits, mankind is about to awaken that world from its long slumber -- and unleash its oily fury.Continued