Humor (General/Chat)
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... will Ted Cruz see his shadow today?
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The only thing that is better than picking out the greatest music ever written is to pick out the most irritating, horrid music ever written. Take a break from the politics for a moment and view my picks, and please add your own!
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There are few movies as quotable as the 1980 disaster-movie parody Airplane! — and of the movie's many memorable gags, arguably the most enduring is the moment when reluctant pilot Ted Striker (Robert Hays) tells Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen), “Surely you can’t be serious,†and Rumack replies, “I am serious — and don’t call me Shirley.†As part of our weeklong 100 Jokes That Shaped Comedy series, we dug into the origins and execution of that exchange — as well as the overall comedic mechanics of Airplane! — with the trio who wrote and directed the film, Jim Abrahams, David...
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Dear Abby, My husband hasn’t worked for the last 14 years. All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies. I know he’s cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his grand-daughters. I know this because he brags about this to me. He smokes fancy cigars and drinks the most expensive Champagne day and night. We sleep in separate beds because he tells me he knows I am a lesbian and my varicose veins and fat behind turns him off. Should I clobber him with a...
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I’ve just jumped from a hay bale to the upper rung of a bleacher seat — it’s the only way I can see Cruz, surrounded by fans, cameras and boom mics. Now I’m looking down, and the Texan with slicked-back hair, a rugged outdoorsman’s jacket and hiking shoes is talking about ponies. “What’s your favorite My Little Pony?†Cruz asks his tiny supporter, a little girl who is wearing a Rainbow Dash beanie. â€Twilight,†she says. “I have two daughters, and they love Twilight,†Cruz says, before adding, with a grin: “My favorite, though, is Applejack. I just think she’s...
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To think they walk among us? She does not even know what taxes are and how the government gets its money. Now you know how - - - - - got elected.
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A famous world statesman wanted to be remembered so he commissioned a special postage stamp which was to carry his picture. He instructed his people to design it, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released and he was delighted. However, within a few days of release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and this made him very annoyed. He 'phoned the stamp makers and ordered them to investigate the matter. They checked out the problem by visiting several post offices, and then they reported back...
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How Tim Allen's 'Last Man Standing' Gets Away With Politically Incorrect Humor... ...As the ABC comedy prepares to mark its 100th episode threshold Jan. 29, its viewership is holding steady at 8.7 million, making the 20th Century Fox TV-produced multicam the No. 1 show in its Friday slot. THR sat down with the always irascible Tim Allen, 62, and talked about his return to network TV, how he relates to his right wing character and why he thinks Donald Trump "might be able to do the stuff that needs fixing." ...Why has the show gone after Hillary but not Trump?...
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If you’re a leftist who believes other leftists, it’s probable you think guns (even fully automatic ones) can easily be purchased without a background check. You hold this notion for a simple reason: your leftist leaders in political circles reaching as high as the White House, say such silly things as “Guns are easier to buy than books.†A myth which is as true as receiving a college scholarship from the tooth fairy. To prove how wrong leftists are about guns, we took a hidden camera to gun shows and gun dealers. We tried weaseling through the “gun show loopholeâ€...
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Dog accidentally runs US half-marathon, finishes in an impressive seventh place by AllTheGoodNamesAreTaken2 · 2 days ago Early Saturday morning, Ludivine, a two-and-a-half-year-old hound dog, was let out of the house in Elkmont, Alabama, to do her business. Prone to roaming around town at will, Ludivine snuck out of the backyard and made her way to the starting area of the inaugural Trackless Train Trek Half Marathon about a quarter mile away. Ludivine proceeded to mingle with the runners, run the entire 13.1-mile course, cross the finish line in an unofficial 1:32:56, and have a medal draped over her...
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This 2-minute animated talking pig video, resting in the dirt, will inspire you to think on how you live in every day life. I sing a hymn, A-Capella, Are You Washed In The Blood, written by; Elisha A, Hoffman. In the Bible; Philippians 1: 18 says this; What then? Notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretense, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice.
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