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...when did humans start eating snails? Well, researchers have recently discovered the earliest evidence of prehistoric people cooking and eating these terrestrial mollusks. But while you might imagine a rustic version of modern escargot, the snails in question were actually enormous in comparison.A team of researchers from the University of Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, South Africa, have found shell fragments of land snails from the Achatinidae family – which can grow to 16 centimeters (6.3 inches) long – at Border Cave, located on a cliff near South Africa's border with Eswatini. The site has been excavated on multiple occasions since the...

Customs officials found six giant “highly invasive” snails with destructive potential in a traveler’s suitcase at Detroit Metropolitan Airport. The giant African snails, which were alive, are “a prohibitive organism” that have the potential to wreak havoc on the environment and cause diseases in humans. They have an affinity for devouring plants, produce, flowers, tree bark, and even the paint and stucco off houses The gastropods also carry parasites that can lead to meningitis in humans Nevertheless, the snails are a popular finger food in some countries, which appears to be the reason the passenger flew the snails to Detroit...

Eric Holder was eaten by tourists today in France as they had mistaken him for snails. "The restaurant owner told us to look for something slimy, and there's nothing slimier than Eric Holder", said tourist Nils Gagongen. "We thought he was kind of tall for a snail, but there was no mistaking the slimy trail he left behind him." President Obama expressed regret at the loss of his Attorney General. "Eric was a fine toady and evidently quite tasty" remarked Obama.

A genetic study of snails, combined with other factors, suggests a migration of Mesolithic peoples from the Pyrenees to Ireland. A recent study of the mitochondrial DNA of the Cepaea nemoralis land snail, a snail curiously common only between Ireland and the Pyrenees region of Southern France, has led researchers to conclude the possibility that ancient Mesolithic people carried the fauna with them in a migration from the French region to Ireland about 8,000 years ago. This correlates with studies of human genetics and the colonization of Ireland, according to the research* published June 19 in the open access journal...

Two men who claimed they were scalded by "exploding" escargot at a San Rafael restaurant have been served a court ruling nearly as scathing. Judge Roy Chernus dismissed "with prejudice" a negligence lawsuit filed by Chadwick St.-OHarra and Steve Righetti, who claimed their snails ruptured at Seafood Peddler last June, splattering their faces and shirts with hot garlic butter. St.-OHarra also accused restaurant staff of "indifference" and "friggin' rudeness" in the immediate aftermath. After the restaurant's insurer rejected their claim, the men sued for a $7,500 judgment for alleged negligence, pain and suffering. The defendants were Richard Mayfield and Manuel...

PARIS, Jan. 31 — President Jacques Chirac has demanded that the United States sign both the Kyoto climate protocol and a future agreement that will take effect when the Kyoto accord runs out in 2012. He said that he welcomed last week’s State of the Union address in which President Bush described climate change as a “serious challenge” and acknowledged that a growing number of American politicians now favor emissions cuts. But he warned that if the United States did not sign the agreements, a carbon tax across Europe on imports from nations that have not signed the Kyoto treaty...

WASHINGTON - A type of caterpillar with a taste for escargot rather than the normal vegetable diet has been discovered in Hawaii. The caterpillar is the first ever observed to eat any kind of mollusk, researchers report in Friday's issue of the journal Science. Indeed, only about one-tenth of 1 percent of caterpillars eat anything but vegetables. Hyposmocoma molluscivora, however, will not eat the green stuff even when the caterpiller is starving, say Daniel Rubinoff and William P. Haines of the University of Hawaii, Honolulu. When these caterpillars come across a resting snail, they begin spinning silk of the type...

Frenchman crowned world champion snail spitter MOGUERIEC, France, Aug 2 (AFP) - A French algae fisherman retained one of the world's lesser-known sporting titles at the weekend - that of champion snail spitter, propelling the tiny creature a total of 9.38 metres (31 feet). Alain Jourden, 43, beat back the challenge posed by 110 pretenders from 14 countries including Belgium, Britain, Germany, Italy, Spain and Sweden, but failed to surpass his own world distance record of 10.4 metres. "Wind conditions were not favourable," said one of the organisers of Sunday's event, which drew 2,000 spectators to the tiny Brittany port...

OK, if nobody else will do it, I'm going to patch up this spat between the United States and France. As you know, our two nations are not getting along, as evidenced by the high-level meeting in Paris last week, during which French President Jacques Chirac and U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, in what aides described as ''a frank exchange of views,'' bit each other. Yes, relations are at an all-time low. The French view us as a bunch of fat, simplistic, SUV-driving, gum-chewing, gun-shooting, mall-dwelling, John Wayne cowboys who put ketchup on everything we eat, including breath mints....

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton "I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" ---- Hannibal Lecter "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" ---Jacques Chirac, President of France "As far as France is concerned, you're right." ---Rush Limbaugh, "The...