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Donkey jailed for theft19/09/2008 10:37 - (SA) Cairo - An Egyptian donkey has been jailed for stealing corn on the cob from a field belonging to an agricultural research institute in the Nile Delta, local media reported on Thursday. The ass and its owner were apprehended at a police checkpoint that had been set up after the institute's director complained that someone was stealing his crops, the state-owned Al-Ahram daily said. The unnamed ungulate was found in possession of the institute's corn and a local judge sentenced him to 24 hours in prison. The man who had his ass thrown...

A New York Roman Catholic church said it is attempting to solve its over-heating problems with a product bearing a name unusual for a church -- a Big Ass Fan. Members of Our Lady of Refuge Church in Brooklyn said they raised money to purchase the product from Big Ass Fans regardless of its name, the Daily News, a New York newspaper, reported Wednesday. The name of the company isn't something that you'd want to put in print, but I had to laugh - it is a big-ass fan, said Ronald Holder, a parishioner for more than 20 years who...

So, just as I got done with the other donkey story I find yet another one. Consider this a special Two for Tuesday burro special. So what is it that makes donkeys the target of a litigious society? If it’s in Dallas, Tx, then it’s all about the noise. (The star witness paced outside the courthouse Wednesday, breathing hard, his head down, an American flag bandanna around his neck. Buddy the donkey, led by Etienne Grimmett, walked ahead of owner Gregory Shamoun on the way to court Wednesday. He said nothing to the media swarming around him. He just twitched...

TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico - A donkey is doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery. The animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in Chiapas state, police said Monday. Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men's medical bills. "Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed," Gomez said — "no matter who they are." The owner, Mauro Gutierrez, told The Associated Press he would try...

Domestication Of The Donkey May Have Taken A Long TimeAn international group of researchers has found evidence for the earliest transport use of the donkey and the early phases of donkey domestication, suggesting the process of domestication may have been slower and less linear than previously thought. (Credit: iStockphoto/Andrea Laurita) ScienceDaily (Mar. 13, 2008) — An international group of researchers has found evidence for the earliest transport use of the donkey and the early phases of donkey domestication, suggesting the process of domestication may have been slower and less linear than previously thought. Based on a study of 10 donkey...

(BEIJING) - A mangy donkey tied to a post all day in a Beijing street wearing an advertisement for a donkey meat shop run by his owner has sparked debate in the Chinese capital, a local newspaper said on Saturday. The donkey is periodically moved around wearing its green and white coat advertising the store, but left on its own, given a few cobs of corn to eat, and surrounded by its own manure, the Beijing News said. "It has caused controversy," the newspaper added. "Some people think that using the donkey is very interesting. Yet others worry it's not...

Caption this "representative" of American views being honored by American Atheists Kalifornia director Dave Kong.

Jackie and Dunlap give out some health tips for Nascar-curious Democrats-- both of 'em

Underwood, Minn. (AP) -- Firefighters in the western Minnesota town of Underwood weren't quite sure what to expect when they got the call: A donkey had fallen down an abandoned well and was trapped. Firefighters quickly realized that the donkey, who belonged to farmer Warren Gundberg who lived about a mile away, couldn't just be pulled from the abandoned well on Bryan Nelson's land. So they started pulling away earth with a Bobcat tractor and dismantling the well block by block on Thursday. Once the west wall of the well had been taken apart, firefighters put a harness around the...

A children's advocacy group wants the Department of Health and Human Services to oust Shrek, the animated ogre, from his role as spokesman for an anti-obesity drive. The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood says the soon-to-open "Shrek the Third" has too many promotional ties with unhealthy foods to justify using Shrek as a health advocate. "There is an inherent conflict of interest between marketing junk food and promoting public health," Susan Linn, the group's director, wrote in a letter sent Wednesday to HHS Secretary Michael Leavitt. "Surely Health and Human Services can find a better spokesperson for healthy living than...

If the American occupation of Iraq is a quagmire, consider the Democrats expert distributors of quicksand. After five months of doing nothing but blabbering and patting themselves on the back, the Democrats went ahead and did precisely what they promised they wouldn't do - they rubber-stamped the Bush administration's stupefying and increasingly brutal bloodbath in Iraq, using the mirage of a phony "deadline" next year to bait the war-weary constituents who elected them last November. To the surprise of no one conceived before the Macarena, the Democratic-controlled Congress passed bills in both the House and the Senate authorizing over $120...

A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week. Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who...

Iraqi forces have seized a donkey laden with land mines on the border with Iran, police in the border province of Diyala said Wednesday. "Smugglers were bringing 52 mines from Iran on a donkey. When we intercepted them, the smugglers managed to escape back across the border but we got the donkey," an officer told AFP on condition of anonymity. Iraq is in the throes of a violent sectarian conflict and US commanders accuse Iranian agents of supplying weapons to Shiite militia groups linked to Iraq's ruling parties.

Domestication event: Why the donkey and not the zebra? By Eric Hand St. Louis Post-Dispatch (MCT) ST. LOUIS - A few years ago, Egyptologists found a new Pharaonic burial site more than 5,000 years old. They opened up a tomb. "They're expecting to find nobles, the highest courtiers," said Washington University archaeologist Fiona Marshall. "And what do they find? Ten donkey skeletons." "The ancient Egyptian burial shows how highly valued (donkeys) were for the world's first nation state. After the horse came, they became lower status. Of course, they're the butt of jokes and all the rest of it. That...

TEHRAN, Iran — Iran closed down two opposition newspapers on Monday, one of which had recently poked fun at hard-line President and the way his government has handled nuclear talks with the West. It was a fresh show of determination by Iran's ruling clerical establishment to silence dissent over its handling of nuclear talks with the West and deny reformers a chance to air their views ahead of elections scheduled for Dec. 15. The rights group Reporters Without Borders voiced concern last week about harassment of Iranian journalists, including prison sentences and interrogations. Ahmadinejad has purged dozens of journalists, university...

The Republican National Committee (RNC) will spend its entire bank account, $60 million or more, helping Republicans try to retain control of Congress in the midterm elections. The looming spending spree appears to have spurred Democratic House leaders to reach agreement over how much the Democratic National Committee (DNC) will help counter this onslaught.The relationship between the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) and DNC has been rocky. There is dispute over whether it took House Democratic Caucus Chairman James Clyburn’s (S.C.) intervention to broker the deal announced yesterday under which part of the DNC’s $12 million will be funneled to...

According to a close friend who has recieved an advance copy of Ann Coulter's "Godless" says that this book is going to cause a firestorm of controversy. Keep in mind that this comes from a conservative journalist. Get some tidbits from Donkey Cons a website for my friend's own book. I can't wait to get my hands on this book but at least I know who the matyr of the church of liberalism is!!!

The safety of Tasers, the electric pistols that are widely used by police, is under new scrutiny after a study by a Wisconsin scientist showed that shocks from the guns cause the hearts of healthy pigs to stop beating. The finding contradicts previous studies that showed that Taser shocks did not cause heart disturbances in pigs, whose hearts are similar to those in humans. John G. Webster, a professor of biomedical engineering at the University of Wisconsin who conducted the new study, said the earlier studies contained serious errors because they did not account for the fact that pigs have...

A TEXTBOOK used at schools in the Indian state of Rajasthan compares housewives to donkeys, and suggests the animals make better companions as they complain less and are more loyal to their "masters", The Times of India reported today. "A donkey is like a housewife ... In fact, the donkey is a shade better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master," the newspaper reported, quoting a Hindi-language primer meant for 14-year-olds. The book was approved by the state's Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party...

PENSACOLA, Fla. -- Two men face felony charges of animal cruelty after they allegedly dragged a donkey behind their pickup, according to authorities. Escambia County deputies said they found the donkey laying on the ground gasping for air with several severe open wounds. The animal had a rope tied around its neck with the other end tied to the bumper of a truck. The suspects -- identified as Terry Lynn Skinner of Molino and Matthew Michael Ramsey of Cantonment -- told law enforcement officers they were trying to get the donkey to Skinner's home. Panhandle Equine Rescue transported the donkey...

MULTAN: People took to the street against a man, Manzoor Hussain Khokhar, who reportedly observed the funeral rites of a donkey on Thursday at Adda Bosan, a suburb of Multan and the native village of Livestock Minister Sikandar Hayat Bosan. The donkey had died on Wednesday. The mob staged a demonstration and attempted to attack the master of the donkey and his friends who, however, ran to save their lives. The demonstrators demanded an immediate arrest of the accused for observing funeral rites of a donkey. Manzoor Khokhar told reporters that his donkey died on Wednesday and he loved it...

<p>WASHINGTON -- It is now an ingrained journalistic habit: After a period of bad news for President Bush, media outlets invariably devote time and space to ``balancing'' stories that all say more or less: ``Yes, the Republicans are in trouble, but the Democrats have no alternatives, no plans,'' etc. The pattern began to fall in place this weekend in the wake of two truly miserable weeks for Bush.</p>

KANDAGAL, Afghanistan - The U.S. military has gone low-tech. Frustrated with the limitations of using its fleet of modern Humvee four-wheel-drives in rugged mountains with few roads, a battalion of Marines has enlisted the help of transport vehicles that Afghan villagers have been using for centuries — donkeys. About 30 of the animals have been rented from local farmers to haul food and bottled water to hundreds of Afghan and U.S. troops on a major two-week operation to battle militants deep in remote mountains in eastern Afghanistan's Kunar province. "With all the smart bombs and the modern stuff in war...

ENGLEWOOD, Tenn. - Consider the donkey. He or she, as the case may be, looks like a mistake, a cross up in nature. They come in a variety of colors, but mostly gray and dun, or dull and duller. Their ears can either lay back or flatten out like wings. Their coarse mane seems to have been constructed with a blender and the tail is something that goes with a cow. Other than that, it is a fairly normal, four-footed, something of a horse. Donkeys can be small as a Great Dane or about as large as mules, of which...

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A SEX-mad donkey has been banished to a deserted island after bonking females in a national park SIXTEEN times a day. Wardens said randy Aga’s antics had offended visitors and driven nervous members of his wild herd into hiding. But they claim the donkeys have now recovered. A spokesman at Croatia’s Telascica National Park said: “With Aga gone, they’ve come out of hiding and are mixing with visitors again.”

A randy donkey has been banished to a deserted island after harassing female donkeys at a Croatian national park. Aga the donkey used to badger his favourite females for sex as much as 16 times a day. Park officials acted after tourists complained that whenever they visited the park all the donkey seemed to be doing was trying to have sex. They also complained that the other donkeys were no longer so friendly and spent all their time hiding from Aga. The herd of wild donkeys had until recently been a major attraction for tourists in the popular Telascica National...

Democrats don't want to have another presidential candidate like John Kerry, and who can blame them? So, the AP reports, they're thinking of revamping their nominating process. Kerry got the nomination because he was standing nearby when Howard Dean imploded. The nominating process was so front-loaded neither John Edwards nor Wesley Clark had a real chance to catch him. Two plans presented at a meeting last weekend in Chicago would continue to allow Iowa and New Hampshire to have the first delegate selection contests. A third, presented by Michigan Democrats, would rotate the honor of going first. All three propose...

Weve all seen and heard of a place called Free Republic, its full of divorced or wife-beating conservative slobs who have the hygene of John Goodman after a long picnic. They thrive on stupid,worthless topics that focus around the "wonder of life" and "lets keep people who cant feel or think alive because were to stubborn to admit that its pretty damn foolish". But above all other abominations in this world is the wretched "Admin Mod", a man of horrible values and the judgement of a meth lab. It is he who makes free republic, well not free at all,...

LONDON - For more than a century, teams of donkeys have carried tourists down the beach at Blackpool, one of Britain’s top tourist destinations. But only now are they to get a compulsory lunch break. As part of a wide-ranging "employment rights" charter for donkeys, Blackpool council inspectors are to carry out spot-checks on the beach to ensure the animals get a statutory hour off to munch their hay. The 200 animals working at the coastal resort in northwest England ferry tourists along the beach throughout the summer. Under the new rules, donkeys must only work from 10:00 am to...

Council inspectors are to do spot-checks on Blackpool donkeys to make sure they are getting their full lunch break, officials said today. Councillors discussed what a Blackpool donkey should get for lunch – and decided it should be about an hour. Licensing inspectors will now swoop on the sand to ensure no donkeys are missing out on their employment rights. The 200 animals, who are not in a union, must ferry tourists for rides along the resort’s beaches throughout the summer. Council rules state donkeys must only work from 10am to 7pm, have an hour off for lunch, and must...

A hillbilly, young Billy, lived in Arkansas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died." Billy replied, "Well, then, just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Billy said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?" Billy, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't raffle off...

ST. THOMAS, Barbados - It's male. But what is it? A zonkey? A deebra? That's the debate in Barbados since a zebra gave birth to a foal sired by a donkey. Alex was born April 21, a milk-chocolate brown creature with the black stripes of a zebra on his ears and legs. His face looks more like a horse, with a distinctive black "V" patch on the forehead. "It's really funny and a little bit freaky," said Natalie Harvey, a 29-year-old waitress. "I was stunned to hear about such a weird thing happening here." While zebra hybrids are not uncommon,...

Paola Pivi's "Untitled (Donkey)," on view in "Universal Experience."

New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) has long been rumored as desperately seeking the democratic nomination for president in 2008. And while many political observers fully expect the power hungry former First Lady to hit the campaign trail within only a few months of being re-elected as a US Senator in 2006, US News & World report claims to have a confirmation of sorts. From USNews.Com's Washington Whispers: Hillary's in… You don't have to take it from us about Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton 's desire to run for president. Her brothers, Hugh and Tony Rodham, say it's true. Friends...

The Rev. Jesse Jackson warned Tuesday that if the November election ends in controversy, Democrats will fight back much more fiercely than they did after the 2000 election. (snip) "If it's reasonably close, we're headed toward a battle like we've never seen before," Jackson said. "But this time around we must not be passive in the face of it."

Swifty the donkey is led from his stall on Morris Powell's family farm in Rising Fawn, Ga., Friday, July 16, 2004. As one of the most active Democrats in the rural part of Georgia, Morris Powell was assured a spot months ago as a delegate at the party's convention in Boston. It took some negotiating, but now Swifty is a delegate too. Swifty overcame security and space concerns to become ``the official Donkey Delegate'' of the convention. (AP Photo/Ric Feld)

When Andrew Jackson ran for president in 1828, his opponents tried to label him a "jackass" for his populist views and his slogan, "Let the people rule." Jackson, however, picked up on their name calling and turned it to his own advantage by using the donkey on his campaign posters. During his presidency, the donkey was used to represent Jackson's stubbornness when he vetoed re-chartering the National Bank. The first time the donkey was used in a political cartoon to represent the Democratic party, it was again in conjunction with Jackson. Although in 1837 Jackson was retired, he still thought...

Movie WarsCLICK ON CARTOON TO SUPER-SIZE IT

Happy 4th of July!! GO DUBYA!!

Donkey domestication began in Africa 19:00 17 June 04 NewScientist.com news service Genetic fingerprints indicate that wild African asses were the ancestors of domestic donkeys, making donkeys the only important domestic animal known to come from Africa. Animal domestication was a key development in human culture. Meat animals came first, with cattle, sheep, goats and pigs initially domesticated between 10,000 and 11,000 years ago. Animals useful for carrying loads and people, such as horses, donkeys and camels, came in a later wave about 5000 years ago, which enhanced trade and mobility. Donkeys were particularly important, being smaller, more durable and...

'I'm drunk, officer, but my donkey's in charge': South African man Thu May 20, 8:06 AM ET JOHANNESBURG (AFP) - A man was fined nearly 300 dollars (250 euros) for drunk driving a donkey cart in a small South African town and then telling police he was unconcerned "because the animals knew the way home." Hans du Toit was stopped recently in the town of Philipolis, about 650 kilometres (400 miles) south of Johannesburg, when traffic officials noticed his donkey cart swerving all over its one main road. He was told not to continue driving, the Afrikaans daily Beeld newspaper...

Thu Apr 15, 3:50 PM ET A Palestinian youth kicks a donkey wearing a picture of President Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair as it is walked during a Fatah demonstration in Bureij Refugee Camp, central Gaza Strip, Thursday, April 15, 2004. Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon now can count on unprecedented U.S. backing for his plan to hold on to parts of the West Bank, a policy shift by Bush that strengthens Sharon politically just weeks ahead of a vote in his Likud Party on a proposed Gaza Strip pullout. (AP Photo/Kevin Frayer)

Caption the Photo- John Kerry and Teresa at the victory rallyafter the narrow win in the Wisconsin primary because of his Kenyan Connection.

Caption away.....

Algerian butchers in 'donkey scam' Saturday 22 November 2003, 16:31 Makka Time, 13:31 GMT Butchers allegedly sold more than 57,000kg of suspect meat  Related: Cairo food alert over dead donkeys Ten people, five of them butchers, have been arrested in Algeria for passing donkey meat off as beef during the holy month of Ramadan.The butchers, allegedly conspiring with four vets and the director of the El-Harrach abattoir in the eastern suburbs of Algiers, sold the meat in the form of minced steak and spicy sausages, Algerian radio reported on Saturday. Customers at markets in the city centre and the working...

Horse (Non)Sense Thomas McIntyre Wild Horses is an oxymoron. Wild equines did evolve in the Western Hemisphere, but they also started going extinct here millions of years ago...... These feral horses and donkeys are about as wild as stray cats and park pigeons. Like many feral animals, they are whizzes at exploiting newfound habitats........ And predators have never represented a threat: In the early 1800s, when it was seemingly possible to walk(rather briskly, to be sure) on the backs of wolves and grizzly bears from the Mississippi to the Pacific, feral horses were estimated to number 2 million................. Then in...

By Nidal al-Mughrabi GAZA (Reuters) - Israel killed a senior Hamas militant with a helicopter missile strike on a donkey cart he was riding Thursday after his radical Islamic faction fired a rocket into a large Israeli city for the first time. Palestinian medics identified the militant as Hamdi Kalakh, the eighth Hamas man to be slain by Israeli helicopter missiles in the past week. They said three Palestinians were wounded, including a four-year-old boy who was in critical condition. The Hamas rocket that crashed into an industrial zone in the Israeli Mediterranean seaside city of Ashkelon, 5.5 miles north...

Baghdad crowd honors donkey, not Saddam, on strongman's birthday Add Mideast - AFP to My Yahoo! BAGHDAD (AFP) - Joyous crowds in Baghdad celebrated Saddam Hussein (news - web sites)'s birthday in a brand new way, pasting photos of the former strongman on a donkey as they heaped scorn on his brutal 24-year reign. AFP Photo Latest news: · Iraqi Delegates Gather for Gov't Talks AP - 4 minutes ago · Saddam's birthday still feted in Tikrit as others try to move onAFP - 21 minutes ago · Baghdad crowd honors donkey, not Saddam, on strongman's birthdayAFP - 23 minutes...