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Opinion: I can't assimilate into Trump's America. Deport me!
Chicago Tribune ^ | May 14, 2018 | by Rex Huppke

Posted on 05/14/2018 1:37:35 PM PDT by Oldeconomybuyer

I don’t think I have the skills to easily assimilate into Donald Trump’s America. And that can mean only one thing: I should be deported.

It was a difficult conclusion to reach, but after listening to White House Chief of Staff John Kelly’s recent comments on undocumented immigrants, I see no other path forward.

Maybe I should self-deport. That’s part of the hope, of course, that by making America inhospitable to outsiders, some will just leave.

But I’m not going to do that. You know us unassimilated legal residents. We’re notoriously lazy.

No, the government is going to have to deport me, and to help in that effort, I’ll outline the obstacles to my assimilation into Trump’s version of America.

1) My culture and my Catholic upbringing are incompatible with the the idea that mothers and their children seeking asylum should be separated from each other once they enter the country.

2) I do speak English, but not in a way that’s compatible with the current language used by this administration and its supporters.

3) Lastly, the country I come from taught me to understand history and recognize that things called “facts” are worth considering.

The idea that immigrants don’t learn English, don’t assimilate, don’t contribute, take jobs from American workers, and are more prone to be criminals has been knocked down by study after study after study and is in no way supported by data.

I am unable to overlook these things and embrace the idea that we are being invaded by menacing hordes of disreputable others.

Those three flaws disqualify me from becoming a member of modern American society under President Trump. And that makes me an unassimilated foreigner in America.

So please send me back to my home country.

Truth be told, I miss it terribly.

(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: aliens; atheist; huppke; illegalaliens; liberalagenda; liberalism; progressives; religiousleft; tds; weird
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To: scottinoc

Agreed. Royko was articulate, cutting edge and smart. I didn’t always agree with him, but he was talented.


21 posted on 05/14/2018 1:47:27 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

As they say “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out”.


22 posted on 05/14/2018 1:48:06 PM PDT by 6ppc (It's torch and pitchfork time)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

I guess this punk thinks he’s clever. Oh, and “wry”.


23 posted on 05/14/2018 1:48:13 PM PDT by MileHi (Liberalism is an ideology of parasites, hypocrites, grievance mongers, victims, and control freaks.)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

People still read the Chicago Tribune?


24 posted on 05/14/2018 1:48:16 PM PDT by Maudeen (www.ThereIsHopeInJesus.com)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer
I once lived in Chicago and read The Trib and Royko.

Mike Royko owned a Condo and lived in it, in the same building as I and my family did. Mike Royko was a friend of mine and this POS is NO Mike Royko!

25 posted on 05/14/2018 1:48:20 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

So how many MS-13 gangbangers are you going to let crash at your place?


26 posted on 05/14/2018 1:48:27 PM PDT by Popman (Wisdom is not what you know about the world but how well you know God.)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

I googled him, and turned up this:

“Columnist Rex Huppke, who spent years reporting on Chicago’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.”


27 posted on 05/14/2018 1:48:38 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

Just like a liberal, expecting us to pay for something he wants.


28 posted on 05/14/2018 1:48:42 PM PDT by Crucial
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To: Oldeconomybuyer
Maybe I should self-deport.

Deal. I'll chip in for the ticket.

29 posted on 05/14/2018 1:48:55 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

[The idea that immigrants don’t learn English, don’t assimilate, don’t contribute, take jobs from American workers, and are more prone to be criminals has been knocked down by study after study after study and is in no way supported by data.]

Lie after lie after lie after lie.


30 posted on 05/14/2018 1:49:20 PM PDT by headstamp 2 (My "White Privilege" is my work ethic.)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

Nevermind, he said he should self deport. I think that’s a great idea.


31 posted on 05/14/2018 1:49:49 PM PDT by Crucial
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

His attempt at sarcasm and to slam our president failed.

Of course leaving the Chicago Killing fields might be a good move.


32 posted on 05/14/2018 1:50:56 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (Democrats are having trouble with their MAMA campaign, (Make America Mexico Again), versus MAGA!)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

If he was in L.A. I would give him a free ride to the Airport.

He also mentioned “undocumented Immigrants”.

There is no such thing. In order to become an Immigrant in this Country you are given Official Government Documents which you must produce if asked by Government Officials.

Without those Documents, you are nothing but an Illegal Invader and a Felon.


33 posted on 05/14/2018 1:51:03 PM PDT by Kickass Conservative (THEY LIVE, and we're the only ones wearing the Sunglasses.)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

What’s the song that goes: “Take a handful of sugar and drink a bottle of turpentine”?


34 posted on 05/14/2018 1:51:14 PM PDT by dainbramaged (Get out of my country now)
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To: scottinoc

SPOT ON !


35 posted on 05/14/2018 1:51:44 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

>>1) My culture and my Catholic upbringing are incompatible with the the idea that mothers and their children seeking asylum should be separated from each other once they enter the country.

No one is tearing babies from their mothers and then kicking the mother out. When we deport you, take your brats with you!

>>2) I do speak English, but not in a way that’s compatible with the current language used by this administration and its supporters.

Not speaking English in a certain way is irrelevant. The phone says, “Press 2 for English”, not “Press 2 for Conservative English”

>>3) Lastly, the country I come from taught me to understand history and recognize that things called “facts” are worth considering.

That’s just ridiculous. This Progressive femboy probably thinks that slavery began and ended in the USA and that racism is a uniquely white American phenomenon.

>>and is in no way supported by data.

Nothing this clown says is supported by data unless the data has been manipulated and normalized to create nice curves that demonstrate what the Progs want it to show.


36 posted on 05/14/2018 1:52:02 PM PDT by Bryanw92 (Asking a pro athlete for political advice is like asking a cavalry horse for tactical advice.)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

Well...bye!


37 posted on 05/14/2018 1:52:14 PM PDT by Cowboy Bob ("Other People's Money" = The life blood of Liberalism)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

Here’s the thing: If you can handle freedom, you can leave. Clear?


38 posted on 05/14/2018 1:52:32 PM PDT by Attention Surplus Disorder (Apoplectic is where we want them.)
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

After a long wait for the spring ice breakup Rosie O'Donuts was spotted on her sea
voyage to Canada to escape the horror of living in the USA under a Trump Presidency.


39 posted on 05/14/2018 1:52:59 PM PDT by Iron Munro (If Illegals Voted Republican 66 Million Democrats Would Be Screaming "Build The Wall !")
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To: Oldeconomybuyer

Res Huppkee is an idiot studying to be a moron....and failing.


40 posted on 05/14/2018 1:53:45 PM PDT by MNJohnnie ("The political class is a bureaucracy designed to perpetuate itself" Rush Limbaugh)
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