Mormons and Jews: What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis

Time ^ | 8/24/15 | JON BIRGER

[Slings and Arrows]

Values.

That’s the one thing that always came up when I’d discuss theories on declining marriage rates or the rise of the hookup culture with my friends or family.

“Couldn’t it just be that times have changed?” people would ask.

Times have changed, and that is a good thing—especially the fading-away of cruel taboos that once stigmatized women who engaged in premarital sex or bore children out of wedlock.

Thing is, times change for a reason. The values question assumes that sexual mores loosen naturally from conservative to liberal. In reality, these values have ebbed and flowed throughout history, often in conjunction with prevailing sex ratios.

Today, mainstream dating guides tell the everything-going-for-her career woman it’s her fault she’s still single—she just needs to play hard to get or follow a few simple rules to snag Mr. Right. But the problem is a demographic one.

Multiple studies show that college-educated Americans are increasingly reluctant to marry those lacking a college degree. This bias is having a devastating impact on the dating market for college-educated women. Why? According to 2012 population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, there are 5.5 million college-educated women in the U.S. between the ages of 22 and 29 versus 4.1 million such men. That’s four women for every three men. Among college grads age 30 to 39, there are 7.4 million women versus 6.0 million men—five women for every four men.

It’s not that He’s Just Not That Into You—it’s that There Just Aren’t Enough of Him.

[SaveFerris]

No, not really. There were many good, or what could have been decent choices, but not “special” whatever that is. But I have friends, real friends, though they are very, very few.

You are absolutely right - the jerks have no problem.

A story I tell is how I used to date several women at the same time - what a jerk - didn’t set out to be on purpose. I can’t believe any of them put up with it. I would have to schedule them around one another. They all knew about the others. Usually Friday and Saturday night were booked (heh) so I’d have to offer Thursday or Sunday to whoever was third.

Eventually decided that was wrong, so set out trying to find myself a nice church girl. It was like the gates of Hell were opened. Got tangled up with a couple I was stupid enough to think I wanted to marry. Both would have been disasters. Guess God did me a favor, but it sure didn’t feel like it at the time. Oy vey.

But yes, some of the decent girls went to church, too.

Oh well, LOL.

[redgolum]

For later

[Alberta's Child]

It’s tough to characterize the two major cities in Alberta. Edmonton has a reputation as a “blue-collar” city, but it’s also the provincial capital and the home of the University of Alberta. So by Alberta standards, it’s often seen as a Marxist dump. LOL.