Posted on 08/30/2015 3:43:02 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Values.
That’s the one thing that always came up when I’d discuss theories on declining marriage rates or the rise of the hookup culture with my friends or family.
“Couldn’t it just be that times have changed?” people would ask.
Times have changed, and that is a good thing—especially the fading-away of cruel taboos that once stigmatized women who engaged in premarital sex or bore children out of wedlock.
Thing is, times change for a reason. The values question assumes that sexual mores loosen naturally from conservative to liberal. In reality, these values have ebbed and flowed throughout history, often in conjunction with prevailing sex ratios.
Today, mainstream dating guides tell the everything-going-for-her career woman it’s her fault she’s still single—she just needs to play hard to get or follow a few simple rules to snag Mr. Right. But the problem is a demographic one.
Multiple studies show that college-educated Americans are increasingly reluctant to marry those lacking a college degree. This bias is having a devastating impact on the dating market for college-educated women. Why? According to 2012 population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, there are 5.5 million college-educated women in the U.S. between the ages of 22 and 29 versus 4.1 million such men. That’s four women for every three men. Among college grads age 30 to 39, there are 7.4 million women versus 6.0 million men—five women for every four men.
It’s not that He’s Just Not That Into You—it’s that There Just Aren’t Enough of Him.
(Excerpt) Read more at time.com ...
There’s a dating crisis ... and I’ll gain insight(s) by reading this ?
So I’m told.
Very interesting . I knew about anorexia plaguing Orthodox Jews, but didn’t know a lot the other material mentioned here.
Most of it was new to me. IMO, the author’s math is solid, but he fails to address social issues.
So what's new?
Young people everywhere like sex at an age when culture(s) say no.
Then we develop all these oblique psychoanalytical essays to "explain" breasts and penii develop at a time God said .. "OK ... y'er ready" when WE say ... "No y'er not"
As I understand it, the early days of the west had an overabundance of early (16 - 20) marriages
I don't know much about the 17 and 18 hundreds urban cultures except ... they seemed to like early sex too, but did not have the nessecity of a family as the pioneers did
We accomplished quite a bit as a society from those young folks .... the ones producing posterity and not just mutually masterbating
Let me sum this up without the liberal filter.
American women stink. OK, when I say “American women...I mean most, not all, of course”
I hate to paint with a broad brush.
American women have been confused by feminism and the media into being anything they want....except being a woman.
American women embrace work, challenges, travel, etc. American women do not embrace being a woman.
I am fortunate to travel a lot for business. I have many friends, both male and female worldwide. I have dated women worldwide.
One day, it jumped out at me. The vast majority of American women do not embrace being a woman.
Yes, they wear the clothes, they use the makeup, they do all these things......but they do not enjoy being a woman and the power that comes with it.
What a horrible loss.
Most European and South American women love being women. They know the power that they have over men and they happily embrace that. Yes, even in South America, where it is a male-dominated culture, women know their true strength.
Here in the US, women are lost. They think that if they are too strong, we will see them as bitches or if they are too weak, we will see them as June Cleaver-ish helpless women....because they have been taught to reject the natural place of women in a relationship/family.
The fact remains that a woman can be soft, feminine and still wrap a man around her finger in ways he doesn’t realize. That is a woman.
Not manipulative....but feminine.
I would also add the high divorce rate and anti-male bias of the “family” courts.
I agree
But the point of the piece is that those things are, for the most part irrelevant.
Instead, it is entirely irrelevant. Where there’s an even slight oversupply of women vs. men, women move into a position in the dating market that is profoundly disadvantaged, regardless of why that oversupply exists or the religious or cultural bearing of the women in question.
Our culture has also made it difficult to know how to be a man.
it is what it is
The author lost me with “cruel taboos”. Those taboos protected a hell of a lot of people and forestalled a hell of a lot of failure, pain and blighted lives.
I agree with you. That liberal premise is the foundation of the death of society.
Premarital sex has everything to do with bearing children out of wedlock. The consequence of that is the child abuse of fatherlessness. Fatherless males are more likely to engage in anti-social and destructive behavior and be under educated.
Separating sex from marriage and procreation is why there’s a “dating crisis”.
btw - women worldwide don’t seek mates below their class level. This isn’t new.
It’s really not all that complex. We don’t need women anymore. Want sex? Easy - it’s everywhere. Hook up, or virtual (porn) it’s as easy to come by as fast food. Without a burdensome wife and child to support the male can work less and play more. The courts are stacked against him in the event of divorce when she decides to take the children and leave him with a monthly support payment. Hell, the dirty secrete the women’s movement never understood is that marriage was always FOR the woman. So, all I have to say is “thanks.” You made your bed, now sleep in it...alone!
June cleaver was not helpless.
The “Why buy the cow when the milk is for free?” attitude has a lot to do with it.
(I do not agree with this attitude!)
Another relevant aphorism is “Women give Sex to get security; men give security to get Sex.” The security aspect takes many forms:
Lifelong commitment “before God & man”, i.e. Marriage
Long term financial support - mistress with apartment, etc.
“Dinner & a movie”
Cash at whatever the going rate is for a hooker
Physical protection from the rest of gang/tribe/mob
Cohesive cultures realized millennia ago that stable relationships between men & women were essential.
There is also that little bit about “Thou Shalt NOT Commit Adultery” that gives us a hint as to the true importance of the whole question. ;-)
“Separating sex from marriage and procreation is why there’s a “dating crisis”
Any other attempt at an explanation is a waste of time, like this article is
Any attempt to blame men or women instead of both equally is a waste of effort. It’s both they each have different reasons but it’s both
Order in relations between men and women existed out of respect for the power and position of sex
Without which we now have this chaos and destruction of the family
There is a lot of fascinating cultural data here.
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