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Donald Trump is GOP's Dark Lord Voldemort
Townhall.com ^ | July 12. 2015 | Debra J. Saunders

Posted on 07/12/2015 8:27:16 AM PDT by Kaslin

Donald Trump is the GOP's Voldemort, the Dark Lord and villain of the Harry Potter children's book series. To thinking Republicans who don't want to go through another circle of hell like the 2012 presidential primary, Trump is He Who Must Not Be Named. When a partisan mistakenly utters his name, media dementors -- soulless creatures who sail through the airwaves -- pop out from nowhere and suck the oxygen out of the hapless offender. Helpless and filled with dread, some victims die, while others slip into nothingness. The dementors will not relent. They want to turn the primary into a pain-inducing referendum on the Dark Lord.

Mexicans are Trump's muggles -- that's author J.K. Rowling's word for humans with no knack for magic. Trump, 69, rants about Mexicans and undocumented immigrants all the time. When he announced June 16 he was running for president, he called them criminals, drug dealers and rapists.

Just as Voldemort thought he could get some intrepid students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to follow him even after he schemed against them, Trump believes he can win over the Latino vote, or so he told NBC.

Voldemort was a birther. He used a slur -- mudbloods -- for wizards and witches born to muggles. Likewise, in 2011, Trump demanded that President Obama produce his birth certificate. Quoth the Donald: "Obama may have one, but there is something on that birth certificate -- maybe religion, maybe it says he's a Muslim, I don't know." Trump's speculation came out of thin air, yet almost as quickly as the "accio" summoning spell, Trump's challenge prompted the White House to produce said document.

Minister of Tragic Reince Priebus has tried to keep peace in the Republican land, but Trump knows how to hex party harmony. Priebus called Trump to ask him to tone down his language about Mexicans and immigrants. Trump flourished his wand and turned the party chief's verbal cuffing into "more of a congratulatory call." Priebus lacks the wandwidth to blast Trump with the Expulso Curse.

In his bid to attain immortality, Trump channeled morsels of his damaged soul into random vessels, called horcruxes. Their names are (ex-wife) Ivana, (ex-wife) Marla, (future ex-wife) Melania and his reality show, "The Apprentice." They share an incantation: "You're fired." As added protection, Trump keeps his fifth horcrux close to him. It is his hair, which glides snakelike alongside Trump wherever the reality TV star slithers.

Like Voldemort, Trump has stumbled in his lifetime. When Voldemort tried to kill a baby Harry Potter, it was Voldemort who had to go -- into hiding, anyway. Trump filed for corporate bankruptcy four times -- in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009, but never for personal bankruptcy. Like Voldemort's minions, Trump's investors paid for his sins. Now Trump says he is worth $9 billion.

Since Trump declared his candidacy, his critics have been waging a serious assault on Trump's assets and reputation. The loudmouth rants have cost the billionaire beaucoup bucks. NBC announced it was ending its business relationship with "The Apprentice" star. "Celebrity Apprentice" will continue -- without Trump. The Miss Universe and Miss USA pageants won't be on NBC. Macy's and the PGA followed suit. Like Voldemort down to his last horcrux, Trump is losing his amulets.

There will be a gathering on Aug. 4 as Fox News hosts the first GOP debate of the 2016 campaign. According to the debate rules, the top 10 candidates in the five most recent national polls will face off. Friday's RealClearPolitics average showed Trump in seventh place behind former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, neurosurgeon Ben Carson, Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky.

Think Hogwarts students and professors facing off against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Except it isn't really a contest. Donald Trump is no match for the rest of the field.

Cable news has worked to make this primary a battle between a boorish billionaire and candidates who have won elections and want to talk about their ideas. Yet all reporters ask is: What about Trump?

This primary doesn't have to be all about The Donald: There is a way to end the spell. Bush said it Thursday when a reporter asked him twice about Trump: "I'm done."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections
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To: samtheman

MY manners? You’re pretty judgmental aren’t you?


121 posted on 07/12/2015 2:24:32 PM PDT by Mollypitcher1 (I have not yet begun to fight....John Paul Jones)
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To: Lexinom

Center right puts her in Bush’s corner. “From the Bay Area” says all the rest.


122 posted on 07/12/2015 2:26:56 PM PDT by Mollypitcher1 (I have not yet begun to fight....John Paul Jones)
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To: Mollypitcher1

It’s just better all around if you comport yourself in a civil manner. Thanks.


123 posted on 07/12/2015 2:36:00 PM PDT by samtheman (Trump/Cruz '16)
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To: DannyTN

Thank you. Trump reminds me of Ronald Reagan. The GOP establishment didn’t like him either.


124 posted on 07/12/2015 3:39:07 PM PDT by captain_dave
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To: Albion Wilde
In view that it was the Democrats who rediscovered the flag and began using it in the 1950s to resist ending segregation, and then things got really ugly, why should decent Southerners worry about that?

It won't stop there...you know that. In fact the city of Memphis and its City Council want to dig up a Confederate General and his wife. As far as I am concerned, Trump is complicit in this matter.

125 posted on 07/12/2015 4:13:43 PM PDT by catfish1957 (I display the Confederate Battle Flag with pride in honor of my brave ancestors who fought w/ valor)
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To: Bobalu

NEVER TRUMP, he is a phony and will play along with the elites in office.


126 posted on 07/12/2015 4:18:18 PM PDT by bmwcyle (People who do not study history are destine to believe really ignorant statements.)
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To: SamAdams76

“Then we must consider that he has never run for office or been elected.”

Yes, let’s disqualify anybody that is not a career politician.”

Well, I am just saying that we need to support someone who can win.

The Head of State isn’t for beginners.

We may admire Trump for standing up on illegals, but he have never been elected to ANYTHING.

It would be like hiring someone to be CEO who has no resume in the field.

Look. Cruz, Walker or Jingdal have a far better chance of getting elected.


127 posted on 07/12/2015 4:51:37 PM PDT by garjog (Obama: bringing joy to the hearts of Terrorists everywhere.)
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To: garjog
I'll have to disagree. The Constitution simply states that the qualifications of president is to be a U.S. citizen over the age of 35.

Unfortunately citizens have been brainwashed into thinking that public service is a "career track" and that our president should first serve in lower elected positions. Obama was a congressman and senator and look at how unqualified he is for his current position.

Trump has the executive experience necessary to step into the job. So long as he surrounds himself with good people - as he seems to have done in his private sector jobs - he'll be a step above most of our recent presidents.

Normally I would support a president with prior legislative or executive experience in government but we've been done wrong too many times. We are in such bad shape ($18 trillion in debt) that we need an outsider with proven business chops that can come into the office and do what needs to be done.

128 posted on 07/12/2015 5:03:42 PM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: Georgia Girl 2

He is like Romney. He will say anything to get your attention. Look at his past record. Don’t trust this guy.


129 posted on 07/12/2015 5:27:26 PM PDT by hawkaw
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To: Kaslin

The Left and the GOPe are in a tizzy. Bless their pea-pickin’ hearts.


130 posted on 07/12/2015 5:32:52 PM PDT by windsorknot
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To: windsorknot

Indeed


131 posted on 07/12/2015 5:39:28 PM PDT by Kaslin (He needed the ignorant to reelect him, and he got them. Now we all have to pay the consequenses)
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To: hawkaw

You could say that about almost every GOP candidate running. Give it a break.


132 posted on 07/12/2015 7:11:21 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose o f a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: SamAdams76

“Trump has the executive experience”

This is an excellent point. He has proven he can run large organizations.

Still without any legislative experiences we don’t know if he can deliver on his promises.

Anyone can say, elect me and I’ll build a fence!

On the other hand with Walker we can see a proven record of legislative reform.


133 posted on 07/12/2015 7:42:17 PM PDT by garjog (Obama: bringing joy to the hearts of Terrorists everywhere.)
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To: Kaslin

And I appreciate your one-person news bureau daily contributions to FR!


134 posted on 07/12/2015 8:00:11 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (If you can’t make a deal with a politician, you can’t make a deal. —Donald Trump)
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To: Mollypitcher1
My “attitude” is to defend myself. KASLIN called me a Troll. Since when am I not allowed my opinion? Is that what this site is all about?

You'll get along well here if you confine your opinion to the news items and topics under discussion, and NOT your opinion of the character of other freepers whom you have not put in the time to get to know. Personal attacks from newcomers are not endearing in this community, just as they wouldn't be if you had just moved to a new house and right away began challenging your neighbors' bona fides.

135 posted on 07/12/2015 8:09:33 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (If you can’t make a deal with a politician, you can’t make a deal. —Donald Trump)
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To: Mollypitcher1

And I suggest you view my comment just above about how to survive in this community. You’re not “all that” a few weeks after you first sign on; newcomers need to earn their respect, like everyone else has done.


136 posted on 07/12/2015 8:12:50 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (If you can’t make a deal with a politician, you can’t make a deal. —Donald Trump)
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To: Albion Wilde

Obviously you don’t have my respect due to your opinionated diatribe.


137 posted on 07/12/2015 8:39:07 PM PDT by Mollypitcher1 (I have not yet begun to fight....John Paul Jones)
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