Posted on 10/15/2009 9:51:57 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark
Ize don't noze teh whyze, but dis me touchdez. Kthxbai!
Dis is found in teh Book of Matthew 6 an in teh Book of Luke 11, srsly. Dis beez teh Ceiling Cat Prayer.
Teh Ceiling Cat of us, whu haz cheezeburger, yu be spechul Yu ordered cheezburgerz, Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly. In ceiling and on teh flor. Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger. And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it. And we furgiv kittehs who be steelin our bukkits. An do not let us leed into teh showa, but deliver us from teh wawter. Ceiling Cat pwns all. He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too. Forevur and evuhr. Amen.
Ping to Lol Cat Bible...
Over here
ok, srsly...teh hole tingh?
srsly... teh hole tingh! ... Wul mose erv itz.
I can has Ceiling Cat zot?
Staze way farz frumz bazement catz.
LOL INDEED.
THX.
May pattings of the Mudder uv Mudders — Ceiling Cat, Happy Cat, and Hover Cat — be wif u always kthxbai.
No..no yuo haz Ceiling Cat zot...Ceiling Cat laffin 2.
Frickin’ Weirdos. LOL
I can’t believe someone or a group of someone’s took the time to do this!
Very funny.
If you thought Revelations was trippy before...
1 O hai, I r Solomon: David iz mai dad an I rulz Israel.
2 Wizdum, I haz it and dissiplin for I iz nevr scrachin de furnichur an I nos fings.
I like it ... :)
I’m almost afraid to read the Song of Solomon.
Iz probihishunz gainst porc now bein wit mice two?
Damn it! I wish I had a mirror so I could read your post. lol
So do I.
Genesis 1:2
Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
The translation of ruakh elohim is famously disputed (spirit from God, divine wind), but "invisible bike" captures neither the formal meaning nor the essence of the phrase.
Exodus 6:2-3
So Ceiling Cat seiz to Moses I am teh H4X0R. An I apearz to Abraham nd into Isaac n' into Jacob by mah name Ceiling Cat. Ah only tellz you Moses mah real name uv H4XOR.
Well, it's no worse than Jehovah.
Deuteronomy 6:4
Heer I, Izrail. Ceiling Cat is teh Ceiling Cat, Ceiling Cat alone.
The Shema. Things just get silly when you translate the every name and word for God the same. I would have preferred "H4XOR is teh Ceiling Cat, H4XOR alone."
1 John 5:7-8
There's three in Ceiling, right? Ceiling Cat, Jebus and Hover Cat. And three equals one. WTF? Srsly. There's three on Earths, invisible kitteh, wuter and bloods. Three equals one. WTF? OK.
The Johannine Comma is included without brackets, footnotes, anything. Only very late manuscripts include the Comma, and it is almost certainly a late interpretation of commentary into lemma. It isn't present in the standard critical text or the majority text.
The Pericope Adultera: John 7:53 is silently omitted, but the rest of the pericope is included, again without brackets or footnotes. John 7 is in a one-verse-per-line format, while John 8 is paragraphed. No editorial control is evident.
I don't even want to look at the end of Mark.
The LOLCat Bible is a wiki. You can edit it if you’re not happy with the translation.
P.S. “Invisible bike” is a reference to a famous early LOLCat, and not a Biblical translation.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=invisible+bike&gbv=2&aq=0&oq=invisible+b&aqi=g10
:)=^..^=
Teh Beluved:
12 While teh king wuz at his tabul eating cheezburgerz,
my smellz go out.
13 My luver beez like teh sack of catnip
I put between mah brestes. I want him der.
14 My luver beez like teh clusterz of henna blossomz
from teh vineyahdz of En Gedi.
I thought it was good use of your edjamacayshun.
Most modern scholars prefer “Happy Cat” to “Jebus”.
I found a feral baby kitteh a few months back and I took her home. Good thing, as her siblings and momma all got either run over by cars or eaten. She is black as night, like basement cat, and by her behavior she might not have a soul.
What!? Snow already? Where are you from?
Ceiling Cat has blessed you. Congratulations!
Re Song 1:13: All six of them?
I’m from Yonkers NY BUT I live in Drums PA. About 125 miles west of Yonkers. 50 Miles west of the Delaware Water Gap on 80.
We had snow last night and this morning. I live in MA.
Totally jealous. I’m from Tennessee and we very rarely get snow here.
It’s that Global Warming thingie.
You’re right. :)
Baby Jebus sais Ceiling Cat is made of lyte and win, he has 0 failz.6 If you sez u be down wit Ceiling Cat but has failz, u dont has no wins for realz and ar failzing.7 But if u be down wit Ceiling Cat and haz win, you can has baff wit Baby Jeezuz and cleaneded all ur failz n eevlz.8 you all has evulz an 0 truths.9 If u tel the Ceiling Cat bout ur evulz and he will be leik "OK datz kewl. U hav baff now."10 If u sais u not can has failz, ur a liar! Donut be lien to da Ceiling Cat!
Teh Cat Macro Becamded Flesh
1 In teh beginz is teh meow, and teh meow sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh meow iz teh Ceiling Cat.2 Teh meow an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins.
3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."
6 And teh Ceiling Cat haz dis otehr man; his naem iz John.7 He tellz teh ppl dat teh lites is tehre, so dat teh doodz mite bleev"8 Him wuz not teh lite; he jsut sez teh lites is tehre.9 Teh tru lite ov lotz of lite wuz comes, k?
10 He iz liek, "Oh hai, I mades u," but teh wurld duznt sees him.11 He iz comes to his stuffs, but his stuffs sez "Do not want!"12 And sum guyz did want, and sez "Teh Ceiling Cat pwns," and deez guyz iz liek his kidz—13 But not liek reel kidz, k? Iz liek teh Ceiling Cats kidz. 14 Teh cat macro comez dwn frm Ceiling (omg) and he is lives wif us. We is sees teh glorie taht is frum teh one n only; him come from teh dad wif teh grace and teh truth.
15 John is liek "Oh hai" becuz uf him. He sez "OMG tihs guy iz teh one taht is comes after me him iz bettr becuz him comes frst, k?"16 Becuz is a lotz of grayce we can has cheezburgers.17 Moses is liek "Hay I has teh lawz"; Jebus is has teh grayce and teh trooth.18 Ceiling Cat is Invisible, but teh one n only (him is wif Ceiling Cat) is liek "Hay look."
Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf." ...
Scary ... I can actually read and understand all that.
LOL! DId you write that? So cute...
Do you know how much I hate snow? After 44 years it is my enemy. I can’t wait to get away from this weather when I retire.
You think that these people had too much time, check this out...
Code for the "hello world" program in 'C':
#include <stdio.h>
main()
{
printf("Hello World\n"");
}
LolCode:
HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
VISIBLE "HAI WORLD!"
KTHXBYE
Mark
Wow. Gotta go back and look at it some more.
Amazing.
COMETH TEH RITEOUS SMAKDOWNZ!
Uze ur good Bereanz cat.
[... John 7 is in a one-verse-per-line format,...]
one-verse-PURR-line...
Fitz urz.
Must be global warming.........
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