Humor (Religion)
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There is Protestant drinking and there is Catholic drinking, and the difference is more than mere quantity. I have no scientific data to back up my claims, nor have I completed any formal studies. But I have done a good bit of, shall we say, informal study, which for a hypothesis like this is probably the best kind. To begin with, what is Catholic drinking? It's hard to pin down, but here's a historical example. St. Arnold (580-640), also known as St. Arnulf of Metz, was a seventh-century bishop of Metz, in what later became France. Much beloved by...
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In the light of what is, what is not, what is going to be, how then shall we proceed? At the very least in light of life’s realities, be thankful! God is good no matter what or why or who and God’s saving grace is sufficient for you. Thanksgiving Deserves the Right Attitude A right attitude towards God is needed, not a attitude of indifference and rejection as in Romans 1:21 – “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were [they] THANKFUL; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.”...
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Silent Monks SIng Hallelujah Chorus
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via charlotteobserver.com Sarah Palin, the hottest name in the Republican Party, took a detour from her book-signing tour Sunday to dine with Billy Graham at his mountaintop home in Montreat. "He's followed her career and likes her strong stand on faith," said son Franklin Graham, who was present for the 2 1/2-hour get-together. "Daddy feels God was using her to wake America up." The former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential candidate told Billy Graham about how she came to faith in God as a girl in Bible camp. She quizzed him on the presidents he's known and wanted...
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From the deepest recesses of South American Jungles to the coldest corners of Siberia, native people groups everywhere are rejoicing over the latest announcement that the English-speaking world will be spending millions of dollars for yet another English translation of the Bible. The excitement erupted after Zondervan Publishers announced that it would be making a major revision and update to its New International Version, first released in 1978 "Our goal is to put the NIV into modern English so that people born after 1988 can understand the Scriptures," said Ronald Overbeck, head of research at Zondervan. "We're going to spare...
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Thanksgiving is coming! For most people, despite what the media try to tell us, the day is just that – a day to give thanks to God for all of the blessings we have enjoyed over the past year. Every year Thanksgiving is tough on some people who are facing tough times and this year that may be especially true with many Americans separated by war, some who grieve for the loss of loved ones because of that war, others without jobs and always for those who are alone. Most of us will at least offer a prayer for our...
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H/T In Hoc Signo Vinces for news of the Bad vestments blog. Here is the Vision Statement:This site is dedicated to subjecting particularly awful Christian liturgical vestments to the ridicule they so richly deserve.Submissions are welcomed and can be e-mailed to websterglobe at juno dot com.
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Just in the nick of time we see some real leadership from the Archbishop of Canterbury. No no, he isn't doing anything crazy to save the Anglican communion like embracing orthodoxy or anything. Canterbury leads us in a different direction, off a cliff. Rowan Williams has come out strongly in favor of the doctrine of higher taxes. Further, he gives us the source of this divinely inspired revelation, Big Brother 11. [Telegraph]Dr Rowan Williams said that taxation should not be seen as a way of stifling business or redistributing wealth but helping to make the world a better place in...
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A Saudi court has ruled in favor of the public display of a crucifix, despite a Kingdom-wide ban on Christian symbols. The only proviso is that a beheaded human body has to be attached to it: RIYADH (Reuters) – A Saudi court of cassation upheld a ruling to behead and crucify a 22-year-old man convicted of raping five children and leaving one of them to die in the desert, newspapers reported on Tuesday. The convict was arrested earlier this year after a seven-year old boy helped police in their investigation. The child left in the desert after the rape was...
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A priest in the Diocese of Scranton has been removed as administrator of three Throop parishes after he inadvertently displayed four photos of what a diocese spokesman called "minimally attired adult males" before the 8 a.m. Mass at St. Bridget's Church on Oct. 25. The Rev. Edward P. Lyman was using his personal computer to project an informational DVD about the diocesan Annual Appeal fundraiser when he accidentally showed the "inappropriate personal photographs" that were stored on his computer, according to a diocesan statement read at the Throop Masses on Sunday. Diocese spokesman William Genello said the photos were not...
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Without a doubt every picture ever painted was made with but three primary colors. Black is no color at all and they say all colors are found in white light. So many things can be made with a few basic building blocks. So understand that I realized all of this when I found myself on a roll this morning churning out strange sentences. If they had not formed such an unique strange pattern and story I wouldn't bother you people with them. The other day something inspired me to write a halloween message that would add up to 666 in...
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English is the language of America. America brought the internet to the world. Thanks to Obama we will probably be the country that finances the start of the New World Order. I can't quote any statistics but my guess is that more Jews speak English than any other language in our present day. So using basic English I practiced a little gematria using A=1 and B=2 up to Z=26. I came up with this 666 Holloween message. The generation that sees an Israel reborn will see the coming of Christ. In numbers that's 33+108+49+48+15+64+72+56+29+33+61+21+77 = 666 That's thirteen words. 13...
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Riding high in the saddle Francis Beckwith is in a tizzy. Sometimes you have to wonder when the poor guy isn’t in a tizzy. Apparently, “coming home” hasn’t brought him the peace of mind he was seeking. One of my pet peeves is the intentional overuse of "Rome," "Roman," "Romanist," etc. by Protestant critics of Catholic theology. Here's why: the Catholic Church is a collection of many churches in communion with the Bishop of Rome. It's catechism--The Catechism of the Catholic Church--is that of all these churches that are in communion with one another and with the Supreme Pontiff,...
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David Gibson's head appears to be spinning over at The Washington Post: When Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was elected pope in April 2005, all the world rejoiced -- or recoiled -- with the certain knowledge that the cardinals had settled on the one man who would be more conservative than John Paul II. <snip> Thus far, Benedict's papacy has been one of constant movement and change, the sort of dynamic that liberal Catholics -- or Protestants -- are usually criticized for pursuing. In Benedict's case, this liberalism serves a conservative agenda. But his activism should not be surprising: As a sharp...
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I have been involved with Internet discussions and apologetics for a very long time, at least in Internet terms. I remember debating a man from the Netherlands via email about Catholic theology in 1992, before I was even officially received into the Catholic Church. Considering “Internet years” are somewhat like dog years, I figure that’s 119 years of online debates and discussions (and it even feels like more sometimes). Over that time I have developed some rules of engagement for Internet apostolate that might be helpful for others. 1) Always remember the superiority of the real world over the virtual...
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Guest blogger Mantilla Amontillado, Ecclesiastical fashionista comments on the Anglican Ordinariate.Let me tell you something hon, I went to England one summer for to study the English you know? I was maybe seventeen and I go to this English Language School in Kent. It was really nice, and on Sunday I go into town to go to Mass with my friend Anna. So we find this nice old church and go to Mass and it is beautiful. The priest is very nice. He's wearing an old lace alb and fiddleback chasuble, maniple, the works. The deacon has on this beautiful...
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This is the latest installment art video on my understanding of God and how he plays out in strange and mysterious ways. Humour and pathos are all too frequently missed in religion and I'm trying to make up for it. I say that now but I might change my mind. For the budding theologians, please help me out, for I know not what I have done... Any comments would be appreciated.
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A short instructional film on how to worship appropriately http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3K4fveLQZZQ
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While walking down the street one day, tragically, a US Senator is struck and killed instantly by a bus. The senator's soul arrives at the entrance to heaven, where he is met by St. Peter. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “But before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.” “No problem, just let me in,” says the man. “Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend...
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Ize don't noze teh whyze, but dis me touchdez. Kthxbai! Dis is found in teh Book of Matthew 6 an in teh Book of Luke 11, srsly. Dis beez teh Ceiling Cat Prayer. Teh Ceiling Cat of us, whu haz cheezeburger, yu be spechul Yu ordered cheezburgerz, Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly. In ceiling and on teh flor. Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger. And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it. And we furgiv kittehs who be steelin our bukkits. An do not let us leed into teh showa, but deliver us from teh...
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I must say, this is one of the more sophisticated and expressive examples of liturgical dance I have seen over the years. The aesthetic value of the song which the dancer interprets in this video is amply betokened by his movements. . .
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My dear young friends, I am pleased to speak to this BYU-Idaho audience. I am conscious that I am also speaking to many in other places. In this time of the Internet, what we say in one place is instantly put before a wider audience, including many to whom we do not intend to speak. SNIP And now, in conclusion, I offer five points of counsel on how Latter-day Saints should conduct themselves to enhance religious freedom in this period of turmoil and challenge. SNIP Fifth...Latter-day Saints must be careful never to support or act upon the idea that a...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZgJbycT-zg
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Vatican efforts to reduce incense emissions have proven largely unsuccessful.
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A longtime reader spotted this on a car belonging to someone who works for the Archdiocese of Washington.
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"Pastor's question to blasphemous artist: The date of Blasphemy Day was specifically chosen to commemorate a Danish newspaper’s publication in 2005 of cartoons that were unfavorable toward Islam and Muhammad. Muslims around the world rioted. Yet I notice that you, like virtually all atheist artists I have encountered, express your disdain for religion only by blaspheming Jesus. I’ve looked at all your paintings, but nothing in your work is aimed at Islam. Why do you and so many of your anti-religion colleagues give Islam a “free pass" but roast Christ mercilessly? You’re afraid of Muslim reprisals, and that’s just good...
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The Bible or the Bard? Each of the following quotes are either Shakespeare citations, or quotations from the King James translation of Proverbs. See whether you can determine which is which. Have fun! Play: HTML Quiz Play: Flash Quiz
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Evangelicals believe in many things: The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, church attendance, homeschooling, Fox News, abstinence, personal holiness, toupees, leisure suits, mission work, Dockers, golf, spanking, and dinner, early and often. But the natural starting point for identifying evangelicals by their beliefs is with their best-known doctrine: hell....IN A HANDBASKET Evangelicals believe certain people are going to hell -- you, for example, unless you already happen to be an evangelical. But behind the hellfire and brimstone talk are core beliefs that have deep meaning for evangelicals. Here are the three most important ones:CORE BELIEF #1 -- Every person has...
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This 4 minute video just shows you what innovative things you can do with scholarship. It allegedly claims that a prominent figure in the world today is associated with Satan. Click This link to watch the video
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A local church switched from Pepsi products to Coca-Cola, but it's not because they don't like the taste of the product. The Bell Shoals Baptist church in Brandon got rid of the products as part of the American Family Association's boycott.
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Bobby Flay and Father Leo. (Grace Before Meals Father Leo Patalinghug’s “fusion fajitas” beat Bobby Flay’s “red curry-marinated skirt steak fajitas” Sept. 9 on the Food Network’s “Throwdown! With Bobby Flay.” After preparing his signature dish for a crowd of parishioners at Mount St. Mary’s University in Maryland, the cooking priest commented, “My fusion fajitas are smokin.’ I guarantee this will make you say, ‘Thank you, God.’” Divine providence was on Flay’s mind as he was driving to challenge the priest. “We’re going up against Father Leo,” he said. “As a former altar boy, I’m not so sure this is...
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Father Leo Patalinghug was making the marinade for his fajitas in front of a crowd at Mount St. Mary’s University in Emmitsburg, Md., where he serves as director of pastoral field education for the seminary — and TV cameras. He thought the Food Network was filming a show about Grace Before Meals, his ministry dedicated to fostering stronger communities through stronger families, one meal at a time. But the priest-chef wasn’t just cooking for the gathered crowd or TV that June day.“I was talking and I realized that standing two feet away listening to me was Bobby Flay,” recalled Father...
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Father Leo Patalinghug is not the kind of guy who steps down from a challenge. The 39-year-old priest is a former national full-contact stick fighting champion, a black belt in tae kwon do and an 80s break dancer who can still bust the moves with the best of them. So when Bobby Flay, a world-class celebrity chef, recently showed up in Frederick County and challenged the well-known “cooking priest” to a “throwdown” on the Food Network, Father Patalinghug’s response was simple: bring it on.
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HOUSTON, TX – America’s top secret UFO investigative agency has discovered powerful proof that extraterrestrials believe in God… an alien bible found in a wrecked spaceship! The 132-page, book-like document, printed in symbols representing a mathematical code, is made of an unknown metallic fiber that is impervious to fire or weather and cannot be cut or torn. Its contents are strikingly similar to many elements of the Christian Bible. “The book was found in the wreckage of a UFO discovered at the bottom of the Grand Canyon in the spring of 1994,” said Dr. Henry Leaumont, a California-based astronomer...
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Pastor John Huber still has a burden for little people. This, in spite of the fact that his evangelistic efforts among Orange County’s diminutive sinners have produced no converts. “We’ve just got to raise the bar,” the unflappable Baptist minister said. A weekend crusade for little people held last week at his Santa Ana church was virtually unattended, even though guest speakers included Verne Troyer of Austin Powers fame, and Bushwick Bill of Geto Boys. Each gave their testimonies to a crowd of five – Huber and his family. Huber, often derided by local pastors who fish for congregants among...
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DES MOINES — Last month, Lori Danes, 43, called the prayer line of a major television ministry and requested prayer for her mother's persistent ulcers. But her prayer representative, who called himself "Darren," prayed in a strong Indian accent that "all the gods would bless her mightily." "I was stunned," Danes says. "It was like I'd called a demon prayer line." The manager of India Prayer Solutions, located in Mumbai, India, apologized for the incident and fired the employee who, he said, had not been properly trained. But dozens of similar incidents have rattled U.S. callers since major ministries...
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Yeah sure, God become man. And He definitely rose from the dead. But there's no way he multiplied loaves and fishes for people to eat. That's the logic of so many when they deny the physical nature of the miracle of loaves and fishes from yesterday's Gospel. What is the problem some people have with this miracle? I've heard it argued (even from the pulpit) that this was not a physical miracle but a spiritual one in that the people were so moved by Jesus' words that they shared. Come on, if it was just about sharing, do they really...
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Dear Twins: I’m having a little get-together at my house to celebrate Calvin’s 500th birthday in July. Do you have any recommendations on appropriate party snacks I could serve? — Caroline Burr, Casper, WYMaurice: Good question, Caroline. With all the whoop-de-doo about Calvin’s 500th, you would think just one reformed theologian out there would have the decency to shut up about Calvin’s influence on soteriology long enough to tell us what kind of treats to bring to a party.Emmett: You came to the right place, Caroline. Maurice and I are known as the idiot-savants of Calvinistic party planning.Maurice: Well, you’re...
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The news that the Vatican is now making official inquiries into Catholic nuns in America and whether they are adhering to church doctrine obscures a very important history about nuns in this country.For nearly three centuries, Catholic nuns have worked heroically, unselfishly, tirelessly, against all odds, to make this great country what it is today. The US economy would not have come so far through the centuries without the help of American nuns.You rarely see the American history of Catholic nuns reported in the media. A bit of journalistic astigmatism, reductio ad absurdum.But a new exhibit touring museums throughout America...
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I grew up in the era of headlong evangelism by the LDS church. We were out to convert the world. Back then, it was "every young man on a mission" and "every member a missionary." The church didn't just leave it to our imagination how to accomplish this. Full-time missionaries were expected to memorize verbatim an entire series of official gospel "discussions." Regular members were exhorted to ask acquaintances, complete strangers, or anyone who held still for five seconds, "What do you know about the Mormon Church, and would you like to know more?" I did the first one on...
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Before coming to Fordham to teach graduate students full-time, I taught many undergraduate courses over seven years at Boston College and Santa Clara University. During that time, I collected a list of “student bloopers” gathered from their assignments. I did so inspired by the years of laughter provided by the memory of an article I read in the early 1990s by Richard Lederer, then at St. Paul’s School, titled “The World According to Student Bloopers.” (That pre-Web article can now be found everywhere on the Internet.) Early on in my trundle through thousands of undergraduate papers and exams, I realized...
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A new technological trend is sweeping across vast sections of our country. In particular, this trend can be found in the emerging/emergent church movement. TBNN has discovered that a growing number of these churches have taken a dogmatic stance on the scriptures. They claim to be ESV-Kindle-Only (EKO). Christ the Redeemer Community Fellowship is currently the fastest growing church in the greater Phoenix, AZ area. It is also unashamedly ESV-Kindle-Only (EKO). David Hopper, lead pastor at Christ the Redeemer, told us, "When we began our church, our people were using all kinds of bibles. It was crazy. We couldn't even...
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John William Henry was always good-looking. His teeth never needed braces. His hair never thinned. He had a symmetrical jaw, a pleasant smile, white teeth, broad shoulders, and a trim waste. But he had a secret. He sometimes, in secret prayer, acknowledged God as sovereign over all things. "I really wanted to be a Calvinist so bad, and that was one way for me to satisfy those feelings," Henry said. "But I always felt like someone was looking over my shoulder." The desire to be a Calvinist never went away. At age 27, Henry confessed those feelings to his pastor...
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It has now been confirmed that President Obama will have an audience with Pope Benedict XVI on July 10th. In preparation for the momentous visit, the crack White House protocol office has sent the President a list of gifts to choose from. After a series of embarrassing gaffes surrounding wildly inappropriate and narcissistic gifts given to heads of State, the President is determined to get this one right. These are the gifts that Obama has settled on. Digital Photo frame with pictures from the Obamas' date night in NYC A Collection Of Great American Religious FilmsincludingDaVinci Code - Angels &...
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Latter-day Saints love the Bible and believe it as scripture. Indeed, Joseph Smith went so far as to say that we are the only people who truly believe it as it is written. Modern, sectarian Christians hang Bible verses like ornaments on an artificial tree constructed of man-made creeds, ignoring the passages which conflict with or contradict their doctrines. In the process, they have allowed a number of myths about the Bible to be promulgated because it serves their own ends. The following eight myths are summarized from "Here We Stand" by Joseph Fielding McConkie (1995, Deseret Book) McConkie is...
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