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DASCHLE BUSTS A MOVE: Not Life-Threatening
My Brain News Service ^ | 6/26/02 | staff

Posted on 06/26/2002 5:45:12 PM PDT by Deb

Emergency aid workers were summoned to Capitol Hill today when Senate Majority Leader, Tom Daschle bloodied his nose and nearly detatched his "Hair Club For Men" extensions on a record-setting sprint to the Senate floor.

No aides or Senate other personnel were injured as the speedy Senator from South Dakota blew past tourists, lobbyists and startled interns on his race to denounce the decision by the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals that the Pledge of Allegiance is "unconstitutional", thereby depriving Republicans of a campaign issue against the Donkey Party this fall.

Unfortunately, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) was hit by a Daschle wind gust and sent into a three minute spin cycle in the Senate hall. Byrd shouted, "I'm okay, dammit," and only momentarily thought himself to be Cicero. It was also reported that all Senator comb-overs had to be re-styled requiring emergency funding.

Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) was knocked to the floor of the Senate by Daschle, having somehow beaten the Majority Leader to the political punch. (It is suspected Mr. Lieberman may have used a secret trap door leading from his office to the Senate floor.) Lieberman was unhurt as he was sent tumbling down the stairs next to his desk. He was delivering an impassioned speech on his belief in God, country and certain kinds of pie at the time.

Once securely on the Senate floor, with microphone in hand, Daschle wiped the sweat from his face and offered a Senate resolution in support of the beleagured Pledge. He ended his speech by looking over at Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott, displaying his pasty tongue and grinning, "Beat ya".

In a tragic twist, emergency personnel were re-summoned to the Senate floor where they were forced to use the Jaws of Life to uncross Daschle's fingers from behind his back.

Developing...


TOPICS: Government; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: baloney; daschle; lookout; opportunist; phony; showboat; tearfilled; tom
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To: Deb
Thanks, I needed the humor tonight. LOL
41 posted on 06/26/2002 8:15:34 PM PDT by Darlin'
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To: Deb
The problem with Republicans is they never expect the Democrtas to lie. Then, they never expect the voters to believe the lies. Then, they don't know how to act when both things happen.

Exactly right. I am an independent conservative, but in Republicans defense I understand they'd rather take the high road. Trouble is, with the scum in this country voting for the socialist party and it's tactics, you'll lose every time. It's about time we woke up and realized this isn't a country club debate but a war for our very lives we're in. Unfortunately they have gained over the years and I see it as a 50/50 split. Lots of work to do.

42 posted on 06/26/2002 8:19:03 PM PDT by ProudEagle
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To: Howlin; Deb
Yes I do believe so .. was on c-span2 if I recall .. fofl

Thank You Deb .. I can just picture Little Tommy leaping over desks and chairs to be the first in front of the cameras .. FOFL

43 posted on 06/26/2002 8:22:15 PM PDT by Mo1
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To: ProudEagle
"Wasn't questioning your spirit"

I didn't think you were. But ... I just wanted you to know I wasn't going to take anything for granted.
44 posted on 06/26/2002 8:54:26 PM PDT by CyberAnt
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To: yendu bwam
Please, no "anal sex" on this thread.

Thanks, The Management

45 posted on 06/26/2002 10:35:35 PM PDT by Deb
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To: RedBloodedAmerican
Geez. I was being (semi) absurd to make a point. It's called "irony"...look it up.

(did you have any friends in school?)

46 posted on 06/26/2002 10:41:33 PM PDT by Deb
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To: Deb
LOL!

47 posted on 06/26/2002 10:48:43 PM PDT by McGavin999
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To: Ragtime Cowgirl
"Let's give them California and seal the borders. (^:"

Seems logical to me.

48 posted on 06/26/2002 10:56:47 PM PDT by blackbart.223
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To: Mo1
" I can just picture Little Tommy leaping over desks and chairs to be the first in front of the cameras."

He would be in big trouble if Chuck Schumer saw the camera first. Talk about a cat fight!!!

49 posted on 06/26/2002 11:03:58 PM PDT by blackbart.223
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To: Deb
So, it can be dicussed with my teenage kids in school, but no on this thread?
50 posted on 06/27/2002 6:07:31 AM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: Deb
The Senate can impeach a Federal judge anytime they wish my dear.

They don't even need a reason.

L

51 posted on 06/27/2002 8:38:22 AM PDT by Lurker
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To: yendu bwam
Oh, all right.
52 posted on 06/27/2002 2:41:46 PM PDT by Deb
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