DASCHLE BUSTS A MOVE: Not Life-Threatening

My Brain News Service ^ | 6/26/02 | staff

[Deb]

Emergency aid workers were summoned to Capitol Hill today when Senate Majority Leader, Tom Daschle bloodied his nose and nearly detatched his "Hair Club For Men" extensions on a record-setting sprint to the Senate floor.

No aides or Senate other personnel were injured as the speedy Senator from South Dakota blew past tourists, lobbyists and startled interns on his race to denounce the decision by the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals that the Pledge of Allegiance is "unconstitutional", thereby depriving Republicans of a campaign issue against the Donkey Party this fall.

Unfortunately, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) was hit by a Daschle wind gust and sent into a three minute spin cycle in the Senate hall. Byrd shouted, "I'm okay, dammit," and only momentarily thought himself to be Cicero. It was also reported that all Senator comb-overs had to be re-styled requiring emergency funding.

Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) was knocked to the floor of the Senate by Daschle, having somehow beaten the Majority Leader to the political punch. (It is suspected Mr. Lieberman may have used a secret trap door leading from his office to the Senate floor.) Lieberman was unhurt as he was sent tumbling down the stairs next to his desk. He was delivering an impassioned speech on his belief in God, country and certain kinds of pie at the time.

Once securely on the Senate floor, with microphone in hand, Daschle wiped the sweat from his face and offered a Senate resolution in support of the beleagured Pledge. He ended his speech by looking over at Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott, displaying his pasty tongue and grinning, "Beat ya".

In a tragic twist, emergency personnel were re-summoned to the Senate floor where they were forced to use the Jaws of Life to uncross Daschle's fingers from behind his back.

Developing...

[CWRWinger]

Unfortunately, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV).....

I wonder if Byrd got any pork added to the resolution?

[Deb]

The problem with Republicans is they never expect the Democrtas to lie. Then, they never expect the voters to believe the lies. Then, they don't know how to act when both things happen.

[Deb]

Byrd was in rare form this afternoon.

First he said he was the only member who had been there in '54 to vote on "under God", then he read the Pledge and then he demanded that the judge arrest him. It was high comedy today on the floor of the Senate.

[summer]

ROTFLAMO! :)

[monkey]

Finally some decent fantasy writing around here.

I'm glad you gave the villians appropos names - dishonest Lieberman, flighty Byrd and shifty Dashle. It will make the story harder to deconstruct when the damn Hollywood screenwriters get their hands on it.

[CyberAnt]

Hey! I'm not resting on my laurels here - I know this is no cakewalk - but this information can only help us - I'm already signed up as a precinct captain and I'm attending Friva in August to get really fired up.

[Mike Fieschko]

I wonder if Byrd got any pork added to the resolution?

He'll vote 'aye' if we re-name it the 'Robert C. Byrd Pledge of Allegiance'.

[OldFriend]

Considering more people saw Alan Colmes defending and praising the decision tonite......I think the libs are toast!!!

[TC Rider]

I didn't know Tommy's little legs could move that fast....come on, someone had to carry him!

Maybe he was on a Sequay.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

The problem with Republicans is they never expect the Democrtas to lie

Blanket statement?

I guess mine would be "The problem with (whatever your party) is they make blanket statements".

Fair?

[mystery-ak]

LOL.....I almost posted that too!

[Howlin]

FYI.

[deport]

Get it while it's hot...........

[yendu bwam]

The liberals - for killing babies, teaching about anal sex to your kids in school, burning the flag, stealing your money and wasting it, undermining national security, kissing Yasser Arafat on the cheek and now, getting rid of the Pledge of Allegiance. Next up - God Bless America.

[Amelia]

Good one!

[Mo1]

Emergency aid workers were summoned to Capitol Hill today when Senate Majority Leader, Tom Daschle bloodied his nose and nearly detatched his "Hair Club For Men" extensions on a record-setting sprint to the Senate floor.

ROFLMAO ... OMG Thank You Howlin .. I needed that laugh

[CWRWinger]

LOL!

[ProudEagle]

Wasn't questioning your spirit, just pointing out that they'll spin this one too :-) Good luck in your district and keep at e'm!

[Howlin]

We're we JUST talking about this today???

And don't thank me, thank Deb!

[CWRWinger]

he demanded that the judge arrest him.

These guys have all met in the 'star' chamber and aren't going to arrest each other. Besides, even if the Constitution was abided by, judges can't arrest anyone. That's the sheriff's job, and only if he so desires.