Posted on 06/26/2002 5:45:12 PM PDT by Deb
Emergency aid workers were summoned to Capitol Hill today when Senate Majority Leader, Tom Daschle bloodied his nose and nearly detatched his "Hair Club For Men" extensions on a record-setting sprint to the Senate floor.
No aides or Senate other personnel were injured as the speedy Senator from South Dakota blew past tourists, lobbyists and startled interns on his race to denounce the decision by the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals that the Pledge of Allegiance is "unconstitutional", thereby depriving Republicans of a campaign issue against the Donkey Party this fall.
Unfortunately, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) was hit by a Daschle wind gust and sent into a three minute spin cycle in the Senate hall. Byrd shouted, "I'm okay, dammit," and only momentarily thought himself to be Cicero. It was also reported that all Senator comb-overs had to be re-styled requiring emergency funding.
Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) was knocked to the floor of the Senate by Daschle, having somehow beaten the Majority Leader to the political punch. (It is suspected Mr. Lieberman may have used a secret trap door leading from his office to the Senate floor.) Lieberman was unhurt as he was sent tumbling down the stairs next to his desk. He was delivering an impassioned speech on his belief in God, country and certain kinds of pie at the time.
Once securely on the Senate floor, with microphone in hand, Daschle wiped the sweat from his face and offered a Senate resolution in support of the beleagured Pledge. He ended his speech by looking over at Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott, displaying his pasty tongue and grinning, "Beat ya".
In a tragic twist, emergency personnel were re-summoned to the Senate floor where they were forced to use the Jaws of Life to uncross Daschle's fingers from behind his back.
Developing...
Regards,
L
P.S. I couldn't help but notice that not one single Senator offered to sponsor an Impeachment resolution. I guess someone needs to remind Little Tommy that as a U.S. Senator he could open Impeachment proceedings tomorrow morning if he wished to.
I would have preferred a happy ending. :0)
Good to see you, L.
;-)
So sad, so true, and yet, somehow, hysterical! :^)
Don't be so quick to celebrate. I thought the same thing during the Presidential election and was fooled by the outcome. I never expected it to be that close. Remember the "Bush Country" map? Looking at that one would think we held an overwhelming victory. By simple land mass, fly over country people, it was. But by population alone it wasn't. The socialists are still a very powerful lobby and influence in this country, and they are all concentrated in the most densely populated blue sectors. And if you think they aren't still powerful, then re-examine the court decision today. Another example of whose still in control of our lives. No....we have a long hard bitter fight ahead of us. There won't be a landslide by a long shot. I'll settle for getting a few more seats in the Senate and the House just to make it a fair fight.
OK, so just what kind of pies was old Joe salivating about?
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