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Democrats, Don’t You Ever Change
Townhall.com ^ | April 20, 2017 | Kurt Schlichter

Posted on 04/20/2017 4:03:11 AM PDT by Kaslin

Look, Democrats, speaking sincerely as your friend, understand that everyone who says you need to take a deep look at yourselves is a racist, sexist, homophobe who won’t even ask about your preferred pronoun. Whatever you do, don’t you ever change.

Don’t be fooled by how America tossed out over a thousand Democrat legislators since Barack Obama was crowned, or by the way that people chose Donald Trump over that sexy beast you wanted to coronate. They seek to sway you from the progressive path with facts and evidence, but facts and evidence are bourgeois constructs weaponized by patriarchal penis-people of pallor!

Fight the power, damn it! Look in the mirror and repeat after me:

Look, Democrats, speaking sincerely as your friend, understand that everyone who says you need to take a deep look at yourselves is a racist, sexist, homophobe who won’t even ask about your preferred pronoun. Whatever you do, don’t you ever change.

Don’t be fooled by how America tossed out over a thousand Democrat legislators since Barack Obama was crowned, or by the way that people chose Donald Trump over that sexy beast you wanted to coronate. They seek to sway you from the progressive path with facts and evidence, but facts and evidence are bourgeois constructs weaponized by patriarchal penis-people of pallor!

Fight the power, damn it! Look in the mirror and repeat after me:

Hey, the dealer’s showing an ace in a face-heavy deck and you’ve got a six, what do you do? Double down!

Double down on Russians! So Trump flattened their buddy’s air force? Big whoop. It’s pretty clear that was some sort of cunning 4-D chess move a complete buffoon like The Donald would make – or not! He’s totally guilty of something, because he has to be! Don’t let yourselves be fooled by the utter lack of any evidence of Russian collusion from The One’s intensive wiretapping efforts getting spilled to house organs like WaPo and the NYT. Just ignore the fact that the Obamaminons in the federal government usually leak harder than Bernie Sanders at a tickle party!

Double down on tax returns! People care! Doubtless somewhere in his tax returns is the smoking gun where Trump scribbled “I [heart] Vlad!” right on them in big letters like it was some sort of IRS Form 1040-Pee Chee. Sure, Rachael Geraldo Maddow looked foolish when Don Capone’s vault came up a dry hole – $38 million in taxes is a lot of money even to a Clinton – but clearly that dumb, stupid, idiot, moron of dumbness Trump tricked her into it!

Double down on familiar faces! Don’t buy the idea that your leaders are wizened windbags a decade past their sell-by dates. Nothing says sexy like Chuck Schumer. He’s hotter than Bobby Sherman! And the kids love their Nancy Pelosi, the Lena Dunham of the Chardonnay-and-Volvo set.

Plus, you have a terrific bench full of up-and-commie superstars! How about that Chelsea? America eagerly awaits 2024, because America wants Jeb Clinton.

America needs Jeb Clinton.

Don’t make our mistake. When the Republicans managed to lose to Faily McWorsethancarter in 2012, we stupidly looked inwards like a bunch of suckers. Both officially and unofficially, the party reexamined its premises, thought through what it had been doing, and like a bunch of dummies, asked itself what it could do better. The results were a bit surprising – it turned out that the people it expected to show up and vote for its candidates weren’t exactly in tune with the people back in Washington who thought they knew what was best. And what happened next was ugly.

Remember Eric Cantor? No, me neither. And adios to K Street Johnny Boy Boehner, the guy with 100% of the cheesiness factor of the Rat Pack and 0% of the cool.

Republicans discovered that 58-year old voters supporting their families on $35 an hour whose jobs some rich donor was shipping to Juarez needed a better answer than, “Well, if you ever read Milton Friedman, you’d know that you’re obsolete. Go learn computers or something. Maybe you can land a data entry gig for $10.25 an hour. Maybe.”

Republicans realized that while importing a zillion serfs from Third Worldistan might help make Milton Wellington von Moneybags marginally richer, their own constituents were having to put up with their jobs getting taken – after they trained their replacements – and their kids getting shot, either by gangbangers or by jihad-loving freaks. We learned that perhaps calling our own voters “racist” for objecting to being figuratively passed around the cellblock was counter-productive.

And before our re-think, we Republicans thought our voters were up for pretty much any war. Sure, our constituents have always defended this country, but after the last 15 year cluster-fark, they had gotten a tad disenchanted with getting blown-up whilst being moved around the international chessboard by a coterie bow-tied tuffboys who never had to worry about the lead heading their way. It turns out our voters were only for wars that were important enough to our security that we actually intended on winning them.

Who would have thought it? Well, a party that did the hard work of looking at itself and figuring out where it went wrong. But you Democrats don’t need to do that. You’re perfect just the way you are.

Run someone in Louisiana who thinks it’s open season on a baby any time before that last toe slips out? Hell yeah! Those Cajun cousin kissers will take what you give them and like it!

Put someone on the ballot in deer hunting country in Pennsylvania who thinks the Second Amendment’s recognition of our God-given right to keep and bear arms means we get to keep and bear arms? Hell no! You Democrats must ensure that every Democrat candidate everywhere embodies the passions and the prejudices of weenie San Francisco tech dorks!

Now, I’m telling you this as a friend, the same kind of a friend you are to working people, to our troops, to American patriots: I sincerely hope that you stick to your principles, that you never doubt yourselves, and that you never waver.

You’re perfect just the way you are.

Don’t you ever change.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: demonrats
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1 posted on 04/20/2017 4:03:11 AM PDT by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Their tactics have provided them with much success over the decades. Hopefully that success will wane as enough people start to realize exactly what the Democrats really are. I won’t hold my breath though for sure that that will be the case.


2 posted on 04/20/2017 4:10:35 AM PDT by Robert DeLong
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To: Kaslin

posted half an hour previously

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3545653/posts


3 posted on 04/20/2017 4:12:53 AM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten percent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: Kaslin

Don’t be fooled by how America tossed out over a thousand Democrat legislators since Barack Obama was crowned, or by the way that people chose Donald Trump over that sexy beast you wanted to coronate.


The end of that sentence sickened me even as it made me laugh.

What a weird queasy combination.


4 posted on 04/20/2017 4:16:22 AM PDT by samtheman (Trump++)
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To: Kaslin

Started out good for the first few paragraphs... both times. But the author seemed to get bogged down with the details and lost the beat. Perhaps lingered a little too long trying to explain his snappy, clever comments? Trying to hard to squeeze 10 lbs. of crap into a 5 lb. bag? Don’t know, the reading was getting tedious. Weird. I’d give it a C-....


5 posted on 04/20/2017 4:27:20 AM PDT by Hatteras
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To: Kaslin

This is truly a great article. I love the part about doubling down on everything, beginning with doubling down with a 16 while facing a dealer’s ace in a high-card-rich deck!

And don’t worry about the secret getting out. The average dem is way too stupid to learn from reading this. I can picture them now — I’m picturing Juan Williams in particular — doing painful stretches to construct “parallels”... “well, you guys do the same thing...”... “what about when you...” , etc.

None of us have to worry. The democrats will NOT go changing on us. A few might try, but they’ll get beaten down very fast by their own army of wannabe “tech dorks”.


6 posted on 04/20/2017 4:29:43 AM PDT by samtheman (Trump++)
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To: Kaslin
"Democrats, Don’t You Ever Change"

Yes, the Demonicrats should stay the same through their trials, convictions, and sentencing for giving aid and comfort to the enemy, all the way until they take that 'short drop and quick stop' to the cheers and applause of patriotic multitudes gathered to witness justice being served.

7 posted on 04/20/2017 4:29:58 AM PDT by Carl Vehse
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To: Kaslin

Billy Joel said the same thing long ago:

Don’t go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don’t imagine you’re too familiar
And I don’t see you anymore

I wouldn’t leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times
I’ll take you just the way you are

Don’t go trying some new fashion
Don’t change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don’t want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that’s forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.


8 posted on 04/20/2017 4:33:00 AM PDT by Pollster1 ("Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed")
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To: Hatteras
facts and evidence are bourgeois constructs weaponized by patriarchal penis-people

Wow!...my new tag line

9 posted on 04/20/2017 4:34:40 AM PDT by gr8eman (facts and evidence are bourgeois constructs weaponized by patriarchal penis-people)
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To: Pollster1

Nice, thanks for posting.


10 posted on 04/20/2017 4:34:46 AM PDT by Kaslin ( The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triump. Thomas Paine)
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To: Carl Vehse

Excellent point and I agree completely


11 posted on 04/20/2017 4:36:24 AM PDT by Kaslin ( The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triump. Thomas Paine)
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To: Kaslin

>> weaponized by patriarchal penis-people of pallor!<<

Not to quibble, but it is “weaponized by PRIVILEGED patriarchal penis-people of pallor!”

:)


12 posted on 04/20/2017 4:43:29 AM PDT by freedumb2003 (The Civil Rights movement compared content of their character to skin color and chose the latter)
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To: Kaslin

And, Please nominate Hillary one more time. This time she will win for sure! /s


13 posted on 04/20/2017 4:48:51 AM PDT by The_Media_never_lie (Parroting fake news is highly profitable for some.)
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To: The_Media_never_lie

They could run Ossoff for president ... after all he won 48% in a district in Georgia! Chelsea could be his running mate. Ossoff/Clinton! 2020!

Of course my perfect ideal democrat ticket for 2020 would be Al Franken for president with running mate Jill Stein.

You know ... the Franken/Stein ticket!


14 posted on 04/20/2017 5:01:27 AM PDT by JohnEBoy (O)
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To: Kaslin

pimple pecker neverTrumper says what?


15 posted on 04/20/2017 5:11:03 AM PDT by Electric Graffiti (Obama voters killed America. Treat them accordingly.)
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To: Electric Graffiti

Who are you calling a neverTrumper?


16 posted on 04/20/2017 5:14:59 AM PDT by Kaslin ( The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triump. Thomas Paine)
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To: freedumb2003

Sorry but I’ve gotta P as well

weaponized by PALE, PRIVILEGED patriarchal penis-people of pallor!

Can’t forget the color coding


17 posted on 04/20/2017 5:17:39 AM PDT by Pollard (TRUMP 2016)
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To: Kaslin

Most of the authors you post. In this case Kurt.


18 posted on 04/20/2017 5:20:39 AM PDT by Electric Graffiti (Obama voters killed America. Treat them accordingly.)
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To: Carl Vehse

Watch out lest you find yourself wishing against the desires of God, who can quickly humble you too.


19 posted on 04/20/2017 5:21:07 AM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Embrace the Lion of Judah and He will roar for you and teach you to roar too. See my page.)
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To: Pollard

Rednecks of all colors, even (25% of the young black male vote went to Trump I hear)


20 posted on 04/20/2017 5:23:01 AM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Embrace the Lion of Judah and He will roar for you and teach you to roar too. See my page.)
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