Glenn Beck Jokes: I’ve Been ‘Raped By Ted Cruz’ (And it only gets more bizarre)

Daily Caller ^ | 3/28/2016 | Betsy Rothstein

[20yearsofinternet]

Conservative TV personality Glenn Beck had a funny way of defending his main squeeze Ted Cruz on his program Monday morning. He burst out laughing and said, “I have to tell you, it’s been a hard Monday morning. We were all been raped by Ted Cruz.”

Beck was referring to himself and his male colleagues.

Realizing that starting out the show with a fake rape scene was probably in poor taste, he promised viewers they’d clean themselves up and try to do a show without “all the Latin lovin’.”

But first Beck needs a post-coital smoke. “I need a cigarette,” he cracked. “Talk about lovin’ and leaving ’em.”

He recalled the ways in which Cruz made him swoon.

“When he said to me, he said, ‘Glenn, we need a more perfect union,’ at first I thought he was talking to me about the Constitution, but then he looked at me with those strong brown eyes,” he said. “He backed me into a bathroom stall and, uh … [conversation trails off..]”

[fireman15]

So even crazy Glenn Beck is hawking the National Enquirer story? This is so stupid that it almost looks like Glenn and Raphael are taking a fall for Trump.

The SS Cruz on its way to the White House.

[StAntKnee]

Man, you do NOT. EVER make rape jokes. And copulation with animals such as rats? What’s going on? Doesn’t anybody even WANT the nomination on the GOP side? Attacking wives (even if attacked) is crazy, too.

I long for that once moronic utterance: Gravitas.

[dragnet2]

I am trying to imagine running for president and having an embarrassment like Beck as one of your main endorsements.

[mkjessup]

"Oh God, WHY does it have to be MY State these *FREAKS* are coming to next week?!?"

[DoughtyOne]

My name is Ted Cruz and I approve of this message messenger.

[JimSEA]

It’s time for Beck to go away and rest for a while. Preferably in a nice hospital so he can put it back together again.

[VanDeKoik]

>And Cruz is never asked to explain or disavow this nutjob.

It’s all on reserve for the minute he gets the nomination.

Only Cruz supporters have duped themselves into thinking that the MSM really doesn’t care....or actually is supportive of him!

[Red Steel]

Stabby Beck and Cruz are buddies joined at the hip.

[HombreSecreto]

You know, that is pretty innovative!

[DoughtyOne]

I have never quite understood the propensity of Cruz backers to reference anal rape. I've seen it here on the forum a number of times, and now even Glenn is chiming in.

At least Glenn is referring to his own violation. Here on the forum it was supposed to be Trump followers who were violated by Trump.

Use of the "F" word (which never happened), pales into nothingness next to this type of thing.

This is some very sick twisted stuff.

My name is Ted Cruz and I approve of this message messenger.

[stayathomemom]

I haven't been able to listen to him for a few months. As I have said before, I was planning on voting for Cruz in the Michigan primary and changed my mind in the voting booth. Part of my hesitancy to vote for him was based on this, what I consider, creepy prophetic Beckishness. Save that for the Kingdom of the Right Hand.

[20yearsofinternet]

Oh that it were only an endorsement. He's a top surrogate, appearing everywhere on Ted's behalf and opening up for him all across the country.



Has Ted Cruz ruled out Beck as a Vice Presidential pick? I ask that question with all seriousness.

[McGruff]

You would think Ted would figure out that Beck is being paid by Trump to say these things. That boy must be distracted by something.

[MotorCityBuck]

Made me Lol at work! Too Funny!

[rdl6989]

He needs psychiatric help ASAP.

[kagnew]

“Soon Glenn will break into song, “They’re coming to take me away, haha!”

They should have taken Glenn away a LONG LONG time ago.

[dfwgator]

“GET OFF MY PHONE YOU LITTLE PINHEAD!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrzRhIiLQ08

[fireman15]

I thought the same thing. Never underestimate Cuban ingenuity! I think they might have actually made it 80 miles across open ocean in a 52 Chevy held up by a bunch of welded together 55 gallon drums. When they got to Florida they had transportation.

[hsmomx3]

Is this some kind of fantasy for him? He’s a sicko!

[glock rocks]

My name is Ted Cruz and I approve of this message messenger massage.