Subject: Terror Alert Threats Escalated in Europe

sparkpeople.com ^ | 9/11/15 | John Cleese (?)

[SoFloFreeper]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards, John Cleese, British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

[SoFloFreeper]

Snopes apparently says Cleese didn't write this, but it sure sounds like him...and is funny too boot.

[SoFloFreeper]

Also been making the rounds on facebook.

[BwanaNdege]

Snopes apparently says Cleese didn't write this, but it sure sounds like him...and is funny too boot.

Snopes is a party-pooper and sometimes wrong.

[georgia peach]

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

[grania]

Gosh, that’s funny!

[BenLurkin]

“Welcome back to 430 BC.”

Yup

[Sasparilla]

There will be no stopping the savage muslim hordes at the gates of Vienna this time. They are being welcomed with songs and celebration in Germany.

[lulu16]

After dinner laughs with husband. Thank-you.

[LucyT]

""There will be no stopping the savage muzleem hordes at the gates of Vienna this time. They are being welcomed with songs and celebration in Germany.""

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Check out article.

.

[SoFloFreeper]

We were in tears of laughter at this:

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

[SoFloFreeper]

We were in tears of laughter at this:

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

[SatinDoll]

I do not find any humor in this - at all.

This is a serious situation in Europe, my friends.

I don’t usually do this but it is important:

http://shoebat.com/2015/09/08/bombshell-the-antichrist-is-sending-a-flood-of-muslim-migrants-into-europe-to-destroy-christianity-bible-prophecy-being-fulfilled/

Many people may be stunned and insulted by what the Shoebat Foundation has written here, but it is historically correct; the European Calvinists joined with Muslim forces in the Battle of Lepanto against other Christians, and were defeated.

[lulu16]

You had me at “The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.”

For some reason, the men in my neighborhood like to make French coward jokes.

I’ll get back to you after dinner my husband’s reaction.

[caww]

ISLAMIC Refugees Destroying Everything They Touch in Italy ...

Reports coming in from various European News Outlets are confirming mass migration rampage events by hoards of Islamists cloaked as “refugees”........

“Half an hour ago on the border between Italy and Austria I saw a huge crowd of immigrants. With all solidarity to people in difficult circumstances I have to say that what I saw arouses horror.....This huge mass of people – sorry – but it’s an absolute wilderness … Vulgar, throwing bottles, shouting... “We want Germany”.

They tried to topple the bus I was in... They threw feces at us,.. banging on the door for the driver to open it... spat on the glass. ... How do they want to assimilate in Germany? For a moment, I felt like in a war zone.... I really feel sorry for these people, but........we spent three hours on the border, but failed to get through.... The whole group was later transported back to Italy by the police.

The bus is butchered, feces smeared, scratched, broken windows. And this is supposed to be an idea for the demographics?

[caww]

Link for above article

http://www.jewsnews.co.il/2015/09/13/total-destruction-islamic-refugees-destroying-everything-they-touch-in-italy-videos/

[Cicero]

This “refugee” situation could scarcely be more serious, but I must say that that article is very funny.

We can use a bit of comic relief.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV2ViNJFZC8

[Salvation]

Pray the Rosary. We can have a repeat of Lepanto if we do.

[Salvation]

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LEPANTO

A Call To Prayer: This Lepanto Moment [Repost]
Lepanto, 1571: The Battle That Saved Europe
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Lepanto, Bertone e Battesimo, Oh My!
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Chesterton's Lepanto
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The Naval Battle of Lepanto
The Battle of Lepanto

[ponygirl]

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Snort!

[SoFloFreeper]

funny, eh?