Posted on 07/25/2009 7:23:34 AM PDT by Dick Bachert
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.
We'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and you can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll provide the necessary security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values... You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClaine. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute 'Imagine,' 'I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing', 'Kum Ba Ya 'or 'We Are the World'.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, take Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda & Nancy Pelosi ~~ please.
There is no way we will ever be able to part on friendly terms...they are the enemy. Once that is recognized, you may see them for who they really are and know that they will never give up peacefully on stealing our freedoms and killing.
Time to form a new and a more perfect union...
Without us they would have no one to try to "govern" into an early grave.
Good post. Right on the mark.
yeeeeeeeee ay aw
“There is no way we will ever be able to part on friendly terms...”
I agree. If this country splits, it is going to be a terrible thing. It may be preferable to living under tyranny, but make no mistake - it will be very bloody.-—JM
While I agree with pretty much everything he says, Subaru wagons can be pretty useful...and I’ve always been a dedicated Jeep guy.
Dang! He forgot to mention we’ll keep football, Nascar and baseball. They can have soccer and beach volleyball. And synchronized swimming. We can agree to both keep basketball and every 4 years we’ll have a World Cup competition wherein we will smack the crap out of their Ive League 3 point shooters.
See the dying words of N. Grisby at:
http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/2009/04/wise_words_from.html
wow, that is great
I ought to have it on my tombstone too
That won’t do—who will the lefties have left to plunder? You don’t expect they’re going to work?
I’m a traditional catholic; divorce is not in my vocabulary. . . BUT I’ll have to sign on to this one and its terms! Mind you, remarriage will never be an option. No compromise. . .going this one alone!
Where do I and few million of my compatriots sign? I think we’re ready. Bloody battles didn’t deter our forefathers who believed that was the price for securing and guarding the bulwarks of freedom - neither should we be deterred. I’d love to see a plan of cessation but it would need to include a willingness and ability of a viable defense. It would help if we had some allies, as the colonies also did.
Agreed. Our differences are becoming so great that a major change appears to be in order.
My Comments:
1) This is a very redundant opening statement.
2) There is nothing “dear” about them.
3) NO conservative in their right mind would ever marry a liberal/socialist, so making this a “divorce” is not a good analogy.
I rightly and will forever despise liberals/socialists for they are truly the “domestic enemy”.
The big problem comes in extricating the liberal infestation in each of the 50 states. Good luck with that...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.