Posted on 06/23/2009 4:52:16 PM PDT by Bokababe
Reunions of adopted children and their birth parents are usually heartwarming moments in which tears flow and broken bonds are made whole in mere seconds.
At least that's how it usually plays out on "Oprah."
But that wasn't the case last Dec. 13, when an Atlantic City woman came face to face with the daughter she placed for adoption 30 years ago after being raped.
This short reunion on the woman's doorstep left her feeling "violated, in shock, and short of breath," according to a lawsuit filed Thursday in U.S. District Court, in Camden, and she believes that a division of New Jersey's Department of Children and Families helped set up the traumatic event.
(Excerpt) Read more at philly.com ...
I saw a story like this one a few years ago where a woman was raped and gave the child up. It ripped that boy's guts out that his mother wanted nothing to do with him, but she associated him with the worst day of her life and he was just a reminder of it.
It is not the fault of the adopted child to to want to know where she came from. For some adopted kids it is an obsession.
This woman should have had therapy to deal with this and stop rejecting the daughter. She is an innocent now as she was 30 years ago. Social workers should help them both come to an understanding and parting.
I always wondered why we never adopted a double-blind system. Mother and or child can put their name in a database. If-and-only-if both want to be contacted, then information is released to both simultaneously so they can meet. If only one enters the base or wants contact, then no info is released and that’s that. It may take some people almost their whole lives to come to terms with that, but IMVHO it seems the best way.
She needn’t blame the 30 year old child. She didn’t rape her.
If the woman was,in fact,raped (which I’m willing to assume is the case) then this is sad situation but the lawsuit is baloney.If I was on the jury I’d vote against her.
I’ve read that adopted males are far far less interested in finding their birth parent(s). The need for completeness seems to hit females much harder.
I find it disgusting that this woman blames the child for the rape, no matter what she is saying, she blames the child. The was and is still innocent.
I’m adopted and a female. I just want to know. Like do I have any risk factors for certain diseases or anything like that. Or what if I ever need some type of transplant or blood transfusion. For me it’s stuff like that.
she can’t be too upset over being reminded of her “worst day” since she filed a lawsuit where this will drag out for years.
By what right does the government have the authority to impose its values on the mother?
You have every right to know these things, your records should be open.
Very good point.
It is the government who has imposed on this mother. She should have been left alone according to her wishes.
But you don't say why. That makes you seem akin to the State. You want what you want and you impose it on others regardless.
who said getting social workers to help them both would be a legal mandate?
Just common sense. From one who is close to the same situation.
She never said that she didn’t want contact with the girl before-hand. The stae of NJ sent her a letter and she did not respond to it. She did not make them aware of her wishes.
This is vindictive, arrogant, and incoherent. You do not know this woman's heart and you have no right to judge how she "should" feel in this situation.
Thank you so much. I agree totally.
Maybe she would feel better after being compensated? Maybe she is trying to prevent others from experiencing the same thing at the hand of the State? Who are you to say otherwise?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.