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Our Truest, Coolest, Sexiest Patriots
American Thinker ^ | June 19, 2009 | Cliff Thier

Posted on 06/19/2009 12:03:32 AM PDT by neverdem

Things are not going as planned for the Obama administration. The millions of new jobs President Obama guaranteed have not materialized. Furthermore, the gazillion dollars of "stimulus money" Congress gave the President as a gift to spend however his fancy leads him somehow isn't actually finding its way into the economy. New York Times columnist Paul Krugman says the problem is we aren't spending ever more money that we don't have. Obviously we need more money. But where are we going to get it?

I think I know.

Forbes just published its list of the 100 "most powerful" (not necessarily the richest) entertainers (actors, musicians, athletes, television hosts, etc.). If we take, umm I meant "invest," all the money they earn this year we'll have $4,110,000,000 to "spread around", in candidate Obama's words to Joe the Plumber.

After careful and extensive research at the newsstand, I've concluded that if we took the money from the top 2,000 richest entertainers (powerful or not) we'd surely have billions more dollars for oodles of worthwhile federal programs. After all, have you seen what backup catchers are making these days?

Anyway, none of these entertainers are as important or useful as Joe The Plumber. The next time your basement is flooding try calling Oprah ($275 million per year) or Bruce Springsteen ($70 million per year).

Candidate Barack Obama lectured middle-class Joe Wurzelbacher about how higher taxes are good for all of us. So, I'm happy to take everything David Letterman ($45 million) earns this year and give it to union bosses so they can keep the businesses they were just handed afloat.

In fact, instead of nationalizing losers like GM, why don't we nationalize Jerry Seinfeld and the Dave Mathews Band? That's where the positive cash flow is.

Having already appointed 16 "Czars" (who don't have to be confirmed by Congress), Obama can easily appoint a Models Czar ("Bill, this is Barack, you busy? . . . .") and a Singer Czar and an Athletes Czar. And, one for comics (the Hardy Har Har Czar).

I would call the levy the SUP (Stupid Useless People) tax. If you are one of the top 1,000 useless people, you fork over 100% of everything you earn this year. Paying taxes is patriotic, according to Vice President Biden, and Lord knows Hollywood resents having its patriotism questioned. With the SUP, everybody wins!
But, that's not enough. Oh, no. After they turn over everything you earn to Washington (after all if they print it is really belongs to them, doesn't it?), there's more for them to contribute to the public weal.  After you pay Washington 100%  of everything you earn, there will be the SUP Surtax. If you appear on the cover of People, US, We, Them, Her, or Him magazine, you send in a check for an additional $1,000,000 for the SUP Tax.
 
If you are photographed on a beach with Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Connelly, or Jennifer Garner, that'll cost you another $1,000,000. A photo spread of one of your houses in Architectural Digest? That's gonna be another $1,000,000 on your SUP Tax return.

If you are mentioned on Hollywood Tonight, MTV, VH1, E! or the CBS Evening News, that will be another $1,000,000. If Annie Leibowitz does a photo shoot of you for the Atlantic, Harpers, GQ, Esquire, Rolling Stone, or Vanity Fair, you will have to write a check to Uncle Sam for $1,000,000. Losing or gaining weight and going on Oprah to talk about it will cost you $1,000,000.

A SUP tax is kinda like the opposite of a VAT (value-added) tax.

These are our true patriots.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: joetheplumber; joewurzelbacher; josephwurzelbacher; wurzelbacher

1 posted on 06/19/2009 12:03:32 AM PDT by neverdem
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To: neverdem

Will never figure out peoples fascination with Dave Mathews band.

I’ve seen dozens of bar bands that were much better.

Poor mixing, repetitive music, every song of theirs I ever heard seems to lack a theme, there’s something “musical” missing.

Oh well, just my thoughts...


2 posted on 06/19/2009 12:24:10 AM PDT by djf (Man up!! Don't be a FReeloader!! Make a donation today!)
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To: neverdem

Is George Soros an entertainer?


3 posted on 06/19/2009 12:29:29 AM PDT by Eleutheria5 (www.publishedauthors.net/benmaxwell/index.html. Donate to members.tripod.com/tva_israel/HOME.HTM)
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To: neverdem

I understand that the article is sarcastic but, seriously, 100% SUP tax would not work. Even (Smart or Stupid) SUP can figure out that there is no incentive to work at 100% confiscatory... er, patriotic tax.

Now, a 90% patriotic BUP (Beautiful Utopian People) tax rate would work beautifully and bring oodles and oodles of money to the Treasury. Really... Seriously...


4 posted on 06/19/2009 12:59:59 AM PDT by CutePuppy (If you don't ask the right questions you may not get the right answers)
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To: neverdem

I’ve already screeched about Thier’s idea of uber-taxing the Hollyweird elites in a number of past threads going back maybe ten years. These people love Obama and his tax-the-bejeesus-out-of-people mentality. Let’s tax the heck of these slugs. All rich Obama supporters should have a surtax imposed on them. Come on Hollyweird and other entertainment libs, put your money where your worthless mouths are.


5 posted on 06/19/2009 1:01:42 AM PDT by driftless2 (four)
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To: djf

Excellent idea. After all, these are the people who are always whining that the rich should pay more but somehow never lead by example. Bow we must make sure the baseline for taxing entertainers at this rate reaches far enough that it taxes Michael Moore, Sean Penn, Danny Glover, Natalie Maines and Barbra Streisand.

Sorry, Rush, I know this will likely hit you too but you’re a big boy. You’ll bounce back.


6 posted on 06/19/2009 1:35:27 AM PDT by OrangeHoof (YES WE CAN have a Depression.)
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To: driftless2

Not Michael Moore’s mouth. You don’t know where it’s been.


7 posted on 06/19/2009 1:47:53 AM PDT by Eleutheria5 (www.publishedauthors.net/benmaxwell/index.html. Donate to members.tripod.com/tva_israel/HOME.HTM)
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To: Eleutheria5

Barney Frank does.


8 posted on 06/19/2009 1:51:28 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler (The University of Notre Dame's motto: "Kill our unborn children? YES WE CAN!")
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To: djf

Dittos! There’s a kid at work who loves DMB. We debate his merits all the time. I don’t see it myself - gimme some Motorhead any day!


9 posted on 06/19/2009 2:09:29 AM PDT by GodBlessRonaldReagan (Refugee from the World of Doomed Olsens)
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To: GodBlessRonaldReagan

Yup!! If you want to hear MUSIC, put on Jeff Beck “Blow by Blow”, or something like that.

Mathews just don’t light my fires, I guess.


10 posted on 06/19/2009 2:15:40 AM PDT by djf (Man up!! Don't be a FReeloader!! Make a donation today!)
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To: djf

There’s a handful of Dave Mathews Band songs that I think are great, but when I listen to an album, I can’t take it. I love the drumming, occasionally. They sometimes produce a mood that I really like.

And isn’t that what we like about music?


11 posted on 06/19/2009 3:41:35 AM PDT by Big Giant Head (I should change my tagline to "Big Giant penguin on my Head")
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To: neverdem

What do you call taxing all of Hollywood’s money?

A good start!

What do call taxing all of Congress’s income?

A better finish!


12 posted on 06/19/2009 5:27:20 AM PDT by Robert A. Cook, PE (I can only donate monthly, but socialists' ABBCNNBCBS continue to lie every day!)
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To: djf

You wrote:

“Will never figure out peoples fascination with Dave Mathews band.”

I agree. I can’t see how anyone thinks he’s more than average as a musician, singer, writer. I have noticed he’s really big with the pot smoking crowd though. That might have something to do with it! :)


13 posted on 06/19/2009 5:28:29 AM PDT by vladimir998 (Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. St. Jerome)
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To: djf

Oh well, just my thoughts..
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I have seen Dave Matthews on TV once or twice and was astounded! I found their “music” literally painful to try to listen to. It makes disco sound like Mozart by comparison. Listen to a couple of Buddy Holly numbers like “Peggy Sue” or “Rave On” and you will realize just why Matthews sounds so awful, IT AIN’T MUSIC!


14 posted on 06/19/2009 10:03:22 AM PDT by RipSawyer (Change has come to America and all hope is gone.)
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To: Eleutheria5
“Is George Soros an entertainer?”

No, but then our so called entertainers aren't entertaining either. Just famous, or infamous depending on your point of view. Soros is famous so tax him at 100% too.

15 posted on 06/19/2009 10:13:24 AM PDT by monday
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To: RipSawyer

Well, if you ignore the fact that he has no harmony, melody, or rhythm, it’s actually very good!

;-)


16 posted on 06/19/2009 10:15:43 AM PDT by djf (Man up!! Don't be a FReeloader!! Make a donation today!)
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To: djf

Well, if you ignore the fact that he has no harmony, melody, or rhythm, it’s actually very good!
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I prefer to go to youtube and listen to didgeridoo players.


17 posted on 06/19/2009 12:52:10 PM PDT by RipSawyer (Change has come to America and all hope is gone.)
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