Posted on 01/26/2009 4:37:27 PM PST by Yaelle
While it may be very unpleasant for us to realize that lowering the number of helpless people dependent on hardworking Americans for their survival will help our economy get back on the right track, Nancy Pelosi has a solid point about salvation through contraception. Still, can we dare to insist that people refrain from bringing new life into the world? Young people crave becoming parents. Working hard to support their babies is not drudgery for most young parents; indeed, it's a labor of love. And, notwithstanding, most contraception devices fail at least 20% of the time, and abortion is abhorrent to some Americans.
It's time to focus on Ms. Pelosi's solution with our hearts and minds, and realize where the burden of population hurts our economy the most. For which people do Americans most resent working longer hours and paying extra in taxes? Certainly not the chubby-cheeked, adorable babies in strollers all across this nation. Not the pigtailed little girls running races in their mary jane sneakers on the playground, nor the lanky young men playing basketball or studying hard to make something of themselves. We all see the promise of a better day in their smiling faces.
Today, Americans are living into their eighties with ease, and many are still alive long into their nineties. While some of our senior citizens are prized for their knowledge and adored by their relatives, many have become woefully unproductive as members of society. Our finest corporations spend more than 50% of their payroll expenditures on their retirees, in pensions and healthcare. Social Security and Medicare were killing us before Bush added the additional $350 billion entitlement of the Seniors Prescription Act. As more and more Baby Boomers pass the retirement age, our economy will be stunned with the amount of taxpayer money needed to support these people far into this century, and it will only get worse as the decades pass.
Crinkly old faces, smelly gray heads, and dementia-induced repetition do not endear taxpayers to put out up to 70% of their income to support others. American workers secretly resent that their better years are spent slaving away to support people whose time has passed, who have no longer any "skin in the game," to borrow a phrase from the President. The elderly often demand health care that could only have been dreamed of in earlier decades. All of these new treatments and options cost money, and these costs are unfairly burdening the young and the strong.
While Nancy Pelosi has correctly seen that our economic system would function in a more streamlined fashion if only we needed less people to support, she did not quite understand that asking people not to have babies goes against the desires of young adults. Today, most twenty-somethings are entranced by celebrity babies and precious miniature fashion, drippy preschool paintings, and baby hiphop classes. It would be unAmerican to ask these young people not to procreate. Yet these same Americans have a hard time pretending they enjoy supporting other people's grandparents in relative luxury while they themselves must scrimp on electronics or vacations.
I only ask that we stop to consider what will most spur the emotions of young taxpaying Americans today. When our younger American workers are happy, and feel good about themselves, they will work hard and succeed, and make our great nation a gleaming strong economic machine once more. This will not happen if they lose the ability to have precious tiny versions of themselves, waiting for their turn to be young and strong and working for America as well. Yet if we could even reduce our senior citizen population by half, not only would they probably not be missed but billions of dollars are freed up for creating jobs both in the public and private sectors.
Nancy Pelosi must bring up the unpleasant subject of asking our elderly to sacrifice for our great nation. We are not asking a lifetime. We would only need to lower our national lifespan average by five to ten years a head in order to be able to sustain the streamlined economy so many of us dream about. So many of these years are spent attached to a bedpan in a lonely wheelchair, unable to work or to bring anything of note to our society. In many ways, giving up those last few years will actually be a pleasure for our seniors. And how promising those years will be indeed to a new generation of healthy, young Americans, on whose dreams this country is built.
You did forget the /s, right?
Well, satire may have worked better in the 18th century. See post 20 for a far more expert rendition.
If it makes you feel any better, even knowing I meant them only satirically, writing some of the words were hard for me personally, as my dear great-grandparents actually had "extermination dates" courtesy of Hitler. But to prove the point of how far we have come that Pelosi can say such things in polite company, I forged on.
Soylent Green
In the same line of thinking, I guess we should withhold all health and dental care on all retirees and people who are on the verge of retirement because they have very little left to contribute. Oh yeah, and they should be required to ride scooters and not be allowed to wear helmets. And they should have to smoke a lot, too.
And what about the mentally retarded kids and the ones with autism.
/sarc
I think it's pretty darn good. I hope it's not pulled.
Hey, I shaved last month and took a bath on the first. Let me see, which month was it...
It’s SATIRE....
OK I most humbly apologize.
I think he meant it tongue in cheek.
Yes. I wonder if Pelosi has studied enough from the master: Hitler started with the handicapped and infirm. She is really trying to reinvent the wheel here.
I got it. thanks
because you didn't, a lot of replies are going to be attacking you because they think you are serious.
Thank goodness. You really had me worried. Pelosi's "contraception" means one thing: the BIG A. Plain and simple.
Try #33
That was my first thought. However, now a days, you can never be too sure. Satire and "realism" seems to be converging. I was hoping this to be satire, but I must admit, I wasn't sure. I was going to ask, on the verge of begging, for this to be satire.
Very good Yaelle but perhaps too subtle for some.
That's OK, Gidget.
Pelosi has really crossed a line here. She is legitimately a policy maker, and we see the kinds of gears she must have turning in that stretched little mind of hers. Scary. We need to wake up and not let these abhorrent statements just float into the ether.
Shame on me for not knowing about Modest Proposal.
Good illustration, had me going at first....should post this over a DU and let PJcomix work his magic with the responses
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