Posted on 02/16/2007 6:43:00 AM PST by NYer
As family reunions go, it is sure to rank among the less conventional. Six teenagers across America conceived from the same sperm donor have finally met their biological father after he decided to reveal his identity.
Jeffrey Harrison, whose offerings once ranked among California Cryobank’s most sought-after specimens, made himself known after reading a newspaper article about two teenage girls who had found out they had both been conceived with sperm from “Donor 150” – and wanted to get in touch with the man in question.
With a profile billing him as a blue-eyed, 6-feet-tall lover of philosophy, music and drama, Mr Harrison, now 50, made $400 (£200) a month as Donor 150 with his twice-a-week donations in the late 1980s.
But 15 months ago he “choked on his coffee” when he read an article in The New York Times carrying the headline: “Hello, I’m Your Sister, Our Father Is Donor 150.”
Initially, Mr Harrison was reluctant to come forward, fearing that his newly-found offspring would be disappointed by his unconventional lifestyle and humble existence living with his four dogs in a motorhome near Venice, Los Angeles, where he earns a “meagre living” doing odd jobs.
And in any case, he says, he hit a stumbling block, with California Cryobank – which promises anonymity to its customers and donors - not responding to his requests for help when he first read the article.
But this year, as Valentine’s Day neared closer, he finally went online to the Donor Sibling Registry website, where Danielle Pagano and JoEllen Marsh had met, only to discover that four more teenagers conceived with Donor 150’s samples had since surfaced.
“It’s a short life and these children need to have some kind of resolution,” Mr Harrison told The New York Times. “I thought I could send a little Valentine, kind of, to everyone, just saying hello.”
On Saturday, he confirmed his identity to the website, which helps donor-conceived offspring find their sibilings, leading daughters Danielle and JoEllen to call him together the next day.
He met a third daughter, Ryann, in Los Angeles yesterday, and has been in touch with his other children by e-mail, finding out that they shared a love of animals and a distinctive forehead.
“The first thing he said was, ’Holy moly’,” Danielle, 17 told the newspaper. “He’s sort of a free spirit, and I don’t care what career he has. I got to talk to his dogs.” She has since spent several hours on the phone to her newly-discovered father.
Mr Harrison has also been able to enlighten his children, who live in Colorado, Florida, New York and Pennsylvania, with some paternal family history. Their grandfather was an Ivy League-educated retired financial executive, while their grandmother used to be volunteer president for the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Wendy Kramer, founder of the Donor Sibling Registry, said that several dozen donors had contacted offspring via her website, but until now none had been brave enough to take on such a large group of teenagers.
“You don’t know what to expect,” she said. “How do we define this family, and what are we to each other?”
The story may not end there. It is possible that Mr Harrison has other children, because women who buy sperm are not required to report when they have a baby.
"Those aren't the only two choices in this circumstance. There is another choice which was never ruled out by the article. The choice of the woman to have a real Father in the life of the child."
I know I went to public school, but I never read where the teenagers did or didn't have two parents. The story only dealt with the teenagers trying to find the sperm donor.
"Here lies the first ethical/moral fault in this circumstance"
You may disagree with the choice, but it has been made. Once again, if the mother had not used a sperm donor, these children would not exist. Given the two choices, I would have chosen to be born. I infer from your comments, that you would have not existed if your mother's only choice was to either use artificial insemination or not to have a child.
"You can drop the abortion discussion because neither one of us is speaking to it."
I didn't bring up the abortion issue, you had on an earlier post. I had stated the two choices were to be born or to never have existed. I think you equated never have existed with an abortion. Were typing about an hot issue and mistakes are made. Abortion isn't revelant in this spefic topic.
In a perfect world, the perfect choice is always available. In reality, these teenagers had only two options, their mother could use a sperm donor or the teenagers would never have existed. We don't know enough about each teenager and their history. They might all have parents and the fathers for a variety of reasons could not produce sperm or I'm sure a few have mothers who wanted to raise a child by themselves. We will never know since the story never addresses or discusses who raised the teenagers.
That was my first thought too. Where is the money for college, Dad?
I'll respond. There are millions of children in the world who have no parents. Your friends, in their desire to have children, could have opened their hearts and home to any one or two or three or more of those children. Instead, they went with a donor. What assurances have these people been given that when their children grow up, they won't fall in love with and marry a 'sperm' sibling? The entire concept of donor insemination is wrong. It goes against the natural laws of procreation.
"The entire concept of donor insemination is wrong. It goes against the natural laws of procreation."
In your opinion. I would strongly disagree. So would my friends, who dearly love their children.
"What assurances have these people been given that when their children grow up, they won't fall in love with and marry a 'sperm' sibling?"
OK, my friends adopt a child instead. Exactly what assurances do they have THAT child won't grow up and fall in love with a sibling or half-sibling? None, of course. It's a pretty ridiculous worry in either case.
Well we know it wasn't the biological father, and for no good reason either.
In reality the mother could have married someone who could have been the father.
"I'm talking about this particular situation related to the original posting. Please do not assume that I am talking about all situations especially the type of situation that you mentioned."
Where's the part that says the mothers were single? Or are you just assuming?
I do disagree with the choice, and you state the obvious when you state it is better the children existed but that fact cannot preclude the other fact that a poor decision was made in the first place.
"In reality the mother could have married someone who could have been the father."
The mother may be married. We don't know since the story never discussed the teenagers background other than to indicate their birth was due to artificial insemination.
Why do you keep insisting the mother aren't married and the kids don't have fathers who have raised them?
To the editor:
The article [Hello, Im Your Sister. Our Father is Donor 150, Nov. 20, 2005] presents the rosy side of half-siblings who share the same sperm donor meeting and forging relationships with one another. I have spent time reading the same email listserve the reporter used and seen other stories as well. Some donor insemination mothers were surprised and vaguely disturbed to find their childs half-siblings were of a different race. At least one heterosexual couple was shocked to find their childs half-sibling being raised by lesbians. Other donor insemination mothers who were getting along famously, trading pictures of their kids and getting them together regularly, soon dropped all contact after feuding over what to call the biological father. Some mothers insist he is dad; others insist he is just a sperm donor.
What struck me most was the reporters frequent acknowledgement that these donor insemination kids long to feel whole. In the years to come, will these half-siblings be able to help each other in achieving that goal? We dont yet know.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Marquardt
Affiliate Scholar
Institute for American Values
Why are the kids "longing" to find their biological fathers?
Because many of these mothers do this sort of thing.
And there is probably a good reason for that!!
Just an observation.
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
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