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The 'gay agenda' doesn't mention you
illinois Daily Vidette ^ | 2/1/06 | Kellie Powell

Posted on 01/31/2006 8:23:18 PM PST by presidio9

Many of you have heard conservative traditionalists rant about "The Gay Agenda." But no one really knows what that agenda is. Well, I've discovered a copy, and I will summarize it for you:

8am - Protein shake

9am - Work out at the gym

10am - Rape straight men, give pornography to children, bulldoze all churches and destroy the sanctity of marriage (or what's left of it after Fox's "Married By America.")

Hey, wait a minute...

Some of the most important people in my life are gay men and lesbian women. And I can assure you, being gay does not mean you are sick enough to want to force or coerce someone into having sex with you. Being gay doesn't make you a pedophile or a pervert. (There are plenty of straight rapists and molesters.) Being gay doesn't automatically make you immoral, an atheist or a drug addict. Being gay doesn't mean you're HIV positive, dangerous, promiscuous or any different from any other human person. Being gay is something that a person is, but it is not who a person is, and it has no more effect on the quality of your character than your shoe size.

So why do people fear, hate and persecute homosexuals? Bigots typically give one of two reasons: 1.) The Bible says it's wrong. 2.) They find it "gross."

Now, I like God, and I like Jesus. But I think some of their followers are a few beads short of a rosary. I'm down with the loving thy neighbor and the doing unto others. But I think God and Jesus are about sick to death of people using their names to persecute each other. From the Spanish Inquisition to the KKK, every nutbag with a weapon and a chip on his shoulder has claimed they were acting out God's will.

I understand that the Bible is a cornerstone of Christianity, and it's important to take this artifact seriously. But in addition to the Word of God, it contains the biases of the men who wrote it. Biases regarding vegetarianism, men with long hair and believing the sun revolved around the Earth, just to name a few. A lot of people have read the same document and interpreted it in very different ways. And believing that your way is right just because you say so... that's not faith. That's arrogance.

The Nazis chose a symbol that had once represented peace. That didn't make them a peaceful group of people. Conservatives can use the name of Jesus and the sign of the cross, but it doesn't mean that their hate-mongering has anything to do with being Christians.

And now, the even sillier reason to hate gay people: 'cause you think gay sex is unappealing. You can call it "gross," "disgusting" or just plain "icky," but the fact is, these are also adjectives that have been used to condemn heterosexual intercourse.

Think back to being a child, to the first time someone told you what sex was. If you were anything like me at age five, you thought, "Why would anyone want to do THAT? I'm never going to! Ewwwww!"

Sex is icky. In the abstract, sex is like sticking your finger up someone's nose. It's roughly equivalent to chewing up some Cheetos, spitting into a cup, swapping cups with someone and eating each other's chewed-up orange gunk. The only difference is, there's no biological imperative to stick your finger up someone's nose or eat someone else's chewed-up Cheetos.

Take a look around. Is there a gay man on your street corner, asking you, "Hey... wanna turn gay? All the cool kids are doing it!"

Now, listen up straight men - it's time to get over yourselves. You are not so devastatingly attractive that setting foot in the Bistro is going to get you gang-raped. If a gay guy flirts with you, the rational thing to do is be flattered and politely decline. Realize that a gay man probably finds you attractive for the same qualities that draw the attention of straight females. So act the way you would if a girl hit on you, but you weren't attracted to her. You don't see women going postal every time a guy winks at us, and we're way more likelier to be raped than you are.

The only reason you could have to be afraid of a gay man kissing, touching, or talking to you is if you're afraid you might like it. And whether it's now, or in thirty years when you murder your neighbor like the military dad in "American Beauty," you will have to deal with your sexual confusion eventually.

So what do "the gays" want? Like most people, gay and lesbian people want to be treated like human beings and citizens of this country. They want the things we all want: Families. Careers. Safety. Love.

And if you think you're qualified to tell them they don't deserve these things... then I think there's a deity out there who's awfully disappointed in you.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections; US: Illinois
KEYWORDS: 42yearlifeexpectancy; aidsgayplague; antichristian; barfalert; barkingmoonbat; bigot; canihelpyoupack; christianbashing; christianity; christians; christiansarenazis; clintonlegacy; deluded; denialaintariver; doublestandard; doyouwantmynumber; fudgesicle; gaymafia; gaystapo; grandiosity; homosexualagenda; howarddeanwrotethis; hypersexual; hypocrite; ifitfeelsgooddoit; ilikehairybutts; incrementalism; inthecanfromaman; inthetentwithsheehan; intolerance; itmentionspissant; kkkinsult; liberalbigot; liberalelites; liesliesandmorelies; lyingliar; lyingliars; mediabias; metrosexual; mutualnosepicking; naziinsult; needsbarfing; notreallyawoman; pc; pillowbiteragenda; politicalcorrectness; politicallycorrect; proteinshake; rectalherniasrock; religion; religiousintolerance; rumprangerrodeo; saladtossing; satan; satanist; sexisicky; sexpositiveagenda; smearcampaign; thoughtcrime; troll; trollingfreerepublic; usefulidiot
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To: Critical Bill

It was worse when no one was pointing out their lies. When I left public school I fully believed that 10% of the population was gay and that 3-4 or four of my own friends were just really good at hiding it.


21 posted on 01/31/2006 8:35:23 PM PST by presidio9 ("Bird Flu" is the new Y2K virus -only without the handy deadline.)
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To: presidio9

Take a look around. Is there a gay man on your street corner, asking you, "Hey... wanna turn gay? All the cool kids are doing it!"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is EXACTLY what is happening.

I'm a mom of three teens, 2 (boy and girl) still in HS. They've told me, and I've heard from other parents whose kids have said the same, that some kids (mostly girls, but some boys too) act like homosexuals and brag about being "bi". The straight guys get a kick out of watching or imagining what may or may not be going on with the girls. Granted, some of this may just be "talk", but I don't remember anyone (when I was in HS, early 70s) claiming to be or acting in an overtly homosexual way...it wasn't cool like it seems to be now.

Who's put this idea into our kids' heads?


22 posted on 01/31/2006 8:35:29 PM PST by OldBlondBabe
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To: presidio9
...gay sex IS a lot "like sticking your finger up someone's (fill in blank)"...

Got your point.

23 posted on 01/31/2006 8:35:46 PM PST by Last Dakotan
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To: OldBlondBabe

In fairness, I highly doubt that there are a lot of teenaged boys acting gay to get respect.


24 posted on 01/31/2006 8:36:46 PM PST by presidio9 ("Bird Flu" is the new Y2K virus -only without the handy deadline.)
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To: Last Dakotan

I'm still waiting for someone to point out that the first thing a morford gets in the morning is a "protein shake."


25 posted on 01/31/2006 8:38:39 PM PST by presidio9 ("Bird Flu" is the new Y2K virus -only without the handy deadline.)
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To: Last Dakotan

"Ummm, no, it isn't."

Maybe we're not doing it right :)


26 posted on 01/31/2006 8:39:05 PM PST by ndt
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To: presidio9

Well, I was surprised to learn that a classmate of my son's actually brought his "prom" pictures to school. His date was another guy.


27 posted on 01/31/2006 8:39:27 PM PST by OldBlondBabe
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To: presidio9
Having written and published this piece, the author firmly believes she has helped homosexuals.

Let's let her know how much: kpowell@mail.vidette.ilstu.edu

28 posted on 01/31/2006 8:40:08 PM PST by SteveMcKing
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To: presidio9
8am - Protein shake
9am - Protein shake
10am - Protein shake
11am - Protein shake
12am - Protein shake
1pm - Protein shake
2pm - Protein shake
3pm - Protein shake
4pm - Protein shake
5pm - Protein shake
6pm - Protein shake
7pm - Protein shake
8pm - Protein shake
29 posted on 01/31/2006 8:40:11 PM PST by opinionator
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To: All
This woman complains about other people claiming to speak for God, then promptly goes and tries to speak for God. Hilarious.

I don't know about the geocentric theory originating in the Bible, but I am certain that there is a passage about removing the wood beam from your own eye before criticizing the splinter in that of another.
30 posted on 01/31/2006 8:40:56 PM PST by AZ_Cowboy ("There they go again...")
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To: ndt
Maybe we're not doing it right.

I'm OK with what I've seen on Animal Planet.

31 posted on 01/31/2006 8:42:10 PM PST by Last Dakotan
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To: Last Dakotan
"In the abstract, sex is like sticking your finger up someone's nose." Ummm, no, it isn't.

Oh, I don't know. I think it's a fair description of homosexual sex.

32 posted on 01/31/2006 8:43:37 PM PST by JCEccles
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To: presidio9
8am - Protein shake

Oh, so that's what the kids are calling it these days.

33 posted on 01/31/2006 8:44:02 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: martin_fierro

When I saw your name in my "in" box, I was so hoping you were swingning by to thank me for another gay thread.


34 posted on 01/31/2006 8:45:28 PM PST by presidio9 ("Bird Flu" is the new Y2K virus -only without the handy deadline.)
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To: JCEccles
I think it's a fair description of homosexual sex.

Being a parent, I'm used to having my fingers in all kinds of goo, so if I had to choose....

35 posted on 01/31/2006 8:47:31 PM PST by Last Dakotan
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To: presidio9
in my "in" box

Not bloody likely.

36 posted on 01/31/2006 8:48:54 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: martin_fierro
Oh, so that's what the kids are calling it these days.

Just the guys who are better salesmen.

37 posted on 01/31/2006 8:49:16 PM PST by Last Dakotan
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To: presidio9
Take a look around. Is there a gay man on your street corner, asking you, "Hey... wanna turn gay? All the cool kids are doing it!"

No, they aren't on the street corners, they're in Governor's councils, high school assemblies, and elementary school library books. And the movies, tv shows and magazines DO show gay people as the 'cool' folks. It is people of faith who are considered the freaks and wierdos.

38 posted on 01/31/2006 8:49:55 PM PST by SuziQ
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To: presidio9; OldBlondBabe
In fairness, I highly doubt that there are a lot of teenaged boys acting gay to get respect.

You might want to read this. It looks like they are in some parts of the country. And it looks like in some parts of the country when the kids get involved in gay and lesbian "clubs" they get special treatment.

39 posted on 01/31/2006 8:50:02 PM PST by isthisnickcool (Quoting Hillary Clinton: "You know, you know, you know, you know.....")
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To: wizardoz

She's full of something.

And if you want to think she's made of that, well I can't stop you.


40 posted on 01/31/2006 8:50:26 PM PST by Dr.Zoidberg (Mohammedism - Bringing you only the best of the 6th century for fourteen hundred years.)
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