Posted on 05/01/2005 2:51:21 PM PDT by CHARLITE
Those who subscribe to the retro and misguided theories of 20th century psychology believe there is no age at which a person is accountable for his or her actions. No matter how egregious, premeditated, arch or criminal, there is always a mitigating "reason" – which in the "non-judgmental" world of psychobabbling therapists can never be deemed wrong or evil or stupid or a matter of bad character.
That reason, the thinking goes, can be traced back to one's childhood and especially one's parents. And no matter how many years or decades have elapsed, no matter what the influence of peers, society, religion, education, the media or the immutable genes with which one is born, "the devil" – in the guise of "early influences" – is inevitably to blame.
In the world of psychology – the track record of which is marginal at best – troubled people are too often subjected to years upon years of high-priced "exploration" of the holy grail of psychotherapy, feelings, after which it is presumed, completely without foundation, that they will gain "insight" into their behavior and achieve the ultimate goal of the process: feeling better. In the world of crime fighters, this is a commonly known as a racket!
But Saturday, when TV talking heads blathered on about the Jennifer Wilbanks so-called "runaway bride-to-be" saga with insipid statements like "Hey, we all make mistakes," and interview "experts" who, like Dr. Judy Kuriansky on CNN, shed more darkness than light in talking about the "psychoanalytical psychodynamics" of the case and guessing that perhaps Ms. Wilbanks' thinness points to an eating disorder or an obsessive-compulsive personality, it is clear that accountability has no place.
Wilbanks' "issues," a member of her family claimed, had compelled the 32-year-old medical assistant to flee from her upcoming nuptials – a wedding planned for 600 guests and 14 bridesmaids, which had been preceded by no fewer than eight bridal showers!
She left behind her house and car keys, identification and cell phone, as well as what appeared to be a bewildered fiancé, a distraught and sobbing mother, hundreds of guests who had descended on Duluth, Georgia, and family members who said they were "absolutely devastated" and immediately posted a $100,000 reward for the arrest and conviction of the person responsible for her disappearance.
And, according to CNN.com, "a mournful prayer vigil instead of a wedding."
Oddly, the issues-driven Ms. Wilbanks managed to carry with her enough money to take a Greyhound bus to Las Vegas, a pricey trip by any measure – unless, that is, it is found that she purchased the ticket more than a week ago, as some TV commentators have claimed.
To avoid recognition, she cut her own hair and then rode for hour after hour after hour after hour, apparently never feeling – not for one millisecond – conscience-stricken or responsible enough to put herself in the place of her distraught mother, her weirdly unruffled fiancé, her "good" friends or the horde of guests who had already shelled out hundreds if not thousands of dollars on her behalf.
"She wanted to be alone," some friends of hers theorized, never wondering, apparently, why the mountains or ocean wouldn't suit that need better than the mecca of pinball machines, neon lights and garish glitz, Las Vegas. And they never mentioned, after tiring of the hoax she perpetrated, that she had some serious explaining to do and apologies to offer.
"We prayed yesterday that she'd be alive," intoned her pastor and prenuptial counselor, "and God was faithful." Again, strangely, no mention of the grief and then rage she had inflicted on her "loved" ones. And of course, no allusion to any penance.
To their credit, a number of highly credentialed law enforcement officials spoke about the need to hold Ms. Wilbanks accountable, not only for the great time and expense her self-indulgent caper had cost the local police department, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation and the FBI, but also to make sure that any profit she may gain from TV and tabloid interviews or book or movie deals would be spent on reimbursing those agencies.
Therapy won't help Jennifer Wilbanks because what she did was unutterably sadistic to her parents, uncaring and unloving to her fiancé, contemptuous of her friends, and irresponsible to the law enforcement community that has better things to do than waste their valuable resources on yet another spoiled brat.
What she did is a matter of bad character – and there's no cure for that!
Joan Swirsky is a New-York-based journalist and author. She is also a registered nurse and a psychotherapist. Joan can be reached at joansharon@aol.com.
BTTT
What was it Joan Rivers used to always say? "OH GROW UP!"
Jennifer, get a clue.
Does she get the $100,000 reward?
...The fact that she lied to authorities about being kidnapped, face the penalties for that. The fact that she left town for her own reasons, it's not a criminal matter...
Her fiance should think long and hard before marrying her.
Don't blame the psychotherapists entirely. I mean, there's the pastor of her church saying something along the lines of "we prayed that this would be a runaway bride case [rather than a murder]... and god was faithful to us". (I don't know if I've got the entire quote right, but I clearly remembering him saying "god was faithful" to those who prayed that this would be a runaway bride case and not a murder.)
So Christians are capable of doing it too. In this case, absolving the perp and even pinning the blame on god, or on those who prayed to god on the perp's behalf.
This has been the wierdest story! She should definitely be held accountable for her actions, and what they have cost law enforcement.
In the interviews I saw on TV of the fiance he came off to me as kind of a creepy guy, and I'll admit, I suspected he'd had something to do with her disappearance, like the one where the guy killed his wife because he'd lied about being accepted to a medical school.
BIG bump! I could NEVER put my loved ones through such devastating worry. I would be afraid that it would literally KILL one of my parents--it would be the first and uppermost thought in my mind. She has SO many loved ones...family members, friends, and clergy...and there wasn't just ONE that she could talk to? She CONSCIOUSLY chose to hurt ALL of them.
Thank you for this post, Charlite.
Aw. The famous "Issues" issue.
That piece of tripe has been used to justify all sorts of obnoxious, toxic and downright evil behavior.
I've met some amazing young people who survived one of Africa's nasty genocides, watched their parents and siblings die horribly, ran for months starving, and remarkably(!) have no issues that prevent them from acting like adults.
So, on second thought: You go, girl!
I had to listen to hours of this stuff on local talk radio in Atlanta because I was driving when severe storm warnings were being issued and revised. I decided that of the main characters, I most hated (1) this mealy-mouthed Man of "God," (2) the brainless boyfriend, whose main concern seemed to be getting his mug on TV, and only after them (3) the dopey girl, who at least had sense enough to run away from the circus-wedding that was supposed to bind her forever to #2.
This story is a train wreck in progress. It is amazing to me the media has no other news to report on.The fiance goes from being the "next Scott Peterson" to the biggest dunderhead on the planet. Who knows what the media will tell us he is by next week.It's tabaloid TV. Kind of a Jerry Springer moment in MSM.
She planned this! She got to Atlanta some way. She cut her hair. She decieved everyone. She cost many thousands of dollars to taxpayers. The pastor was a sniviling emotional idiot. Shes 32, not 18. She is a selfish example of this generation. She needs to go to jail.
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