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Man Tries to Crucify Himself: Calls 911 when he can't nail second hand to cross
Bangor Daily News ^
| 3/16/04
Posted on 03/16/2004 11:11:44 AM PST by silverleaf
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To: kjam22
He just needs a construction nail gun, a timer, and some advice from McguiverWhere's Rube Goldberg when you need him?
81
posted on
03/16/2004 1:40:14 PM PST
by
P.O.E.
(Enjoy every sandwich)
To: secret garden; martin_fierro
{The poor guy's mother chewing him out afterwards:} "Do you remember that movie about the young man who learned how to type with his foot? I bet he could have crucified himself!"
82
posted on
03/16/2004 1:47:20 PM PST
by
Charles Henrickson
(BTW, I typed this tagline with my left foot.)
To: silverleaf
Hello? 911?
Yes, could you help me?
Could you send someone out to help me nail my other hand to my cross?
No?
Please.
Could they just hold the nail?
To: feinswinesuksass
LOL. I immediately thought of that Young Ones episode too.
84
posted on
03/16/2004 3:37:43 PM PST
by
Slainte
To: So Cal Rocket
He forgot his 7 "P's"
prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance
85
posted on
03/16/2004 4:15:27 PM PST
by
mylife
To: normative; Southflanknorthpawsis
Damn. Just damn.
Don't let the trial lawyers hear about this, or Bibles will have to come with "Don't try this at home" printed on a bright orange sticker.
86
posted on
03/16/2004 4:23:30 PM PST
by
EllaMinnow
(Within fewer hours the "Freepern" succeed in tilting the tuning.)
To: conservativecorner
You sure it wasn't Kerry? I can see him trying to claim that he is the Messiah."This administration has been reckless and irresponsible in its crucifixion policy."
87
posted on
03/16/2004 4:26:12 PM PST
by
Tolerance Sucks Rocks
(Good evening. I'm Sydney Biddle-Barrows, and welcome to Whore Stories!)
To: silverleaf; RKB-AFG; southern bale; dixiechick2000; jessies; onyx; flying Elvis; helen crump; ...
This just deserves a bump ,ping
88
posted on
03/16/2004 4:26:55 PM PST
by
WKB
(3!~ Term Limits: Because politicians are like diapers., need to be changed for the same reason.)
To: silverleaf
A Hartland man
....who from this day forward will forever be known as "Lefty".......
To: johnfrink
That reminds me of a line in the Simpsons last night. McBain is scooping up a piece of pie from the dinner table and says; "You know when I told you I would eat you last? I lied." [Ref: Commando]
90
posted on
03/16/2004 4:35:34 PM PST
by
handk
(The moon belongs to America, and anxiously awaits our Astro-Men. Will you be among them?)
To: redlipstick
Hehehehe. Yep, they are probably working on the disclaimer as we speak..........in multiple languages.
To: silverleaf
Only in the HARTLAND....
92
posted on
03/16/2004 4:39:41 PM PST
by
Joe Hadenuf
(I failed anger management class, they decided to give me a passing grade anyway)
To: mhking
Police said the man appeared delusional and told them he had been "seeing pictures of God on the computer."That happened to me once, but it turned out to be an old Ronald Reagan photo.:)
"When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911," Boucher said.
If he'd nailed one foot to the floor, he'd probably still be running around in a circle.
93
posted on
03/16/2004 5:36:02 PM PST
by
xJones
To: silverleaf; mhking
The 5 "P's" man the 5 "P's"
Prior Planning Prevents Poor Presentation.
94
posted on
03/16/2004 6:22:12 PM PST
by
Rightly Biased
(<>< The Passion of The Christ is You.)
To: WKB
"This just deserves a bump..."I'll second that.
Thanks for the ping! ;o)
95
posted on
03/16/2004 9:35:45 PM PST
by
dixiechick2000
(President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
To: So Cal Rocket
Plan ahea d
Gee, now how do I nail this other one? Too funny.
96
posted on
03/16/2004 9:38:40 PM PST
by
BJungNan
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