Feminists Warn Young Girls Against Marrying Rich, Muscular Football Stars Who Love Them And Take Care Of All Their Needs And Praise Them In Speeches

The Bee ^ | May 21, 2024 | Staff

[Navy Patriot]

KANSAS CITY, KS — In the wake of Harrison Butker's recent commencement speech encouraging college graduates to get married and start a family, feminists around the nation are cautioning young girls not to marry wealthy, successful Super Bowl champions like Butker.

"Can you imagine how terrible it would be to marry a ripped, non-feminist football star who loves you so much he gets choked up every time he honors you in a speech?" activist Margery Strecker exclaimed in a Tik-Tok short aimed at 13-year-old girls. "Imagine if you married a guy like that and he started sacrificially loving you and honoring you while taking care of your every need forever! It would be like The Handmaid's Tale all over again!"

"Harrison Butker is disgusting!" Jane Davis (@38yroldsngle) commented on X (formerly Twitter). "Young girls should avoid men like that at all costs and instead pursue corporate careers in the big city while going to clubs and sleeping with losers they meet on dating apps every weekend until they turn 38! Think of your careers, ladies!"

While Butker was unavailable for comment, sources close to the 3-time Super Bowl Champion claim that he was busy getting ready to surprise his wife with a romantic dinner after an afternoon spent throwing around a football with his son.

At publishing time, all of the nation's girls were busy ignoring the feminists while replacing their Tim Tebow posters with framed Harrison Butker jerseys.

[Navy Patriot]

The only way Feminists can get real men's attention is to set themselves on fire.

Have at it Wyomen.

[Mark17]

The only way Feminists can get real men's attention is to set themselves on fire.

But it won’t get them attention, for very long.

[Mark17]

The only way Feminists can get real men's attention is to set themselves on fire.

But it won’t get them attention, for very long.

[Mark17]

Oops

[jacknhoo]

The Bee nails it again.

[shoff]

“The only way Feminists can get real men’s attention is to set themselves on fire”

Those women are hot!

[Secret Agent Man]

You can take it too far the other direction too, like this guy does. You don’t want to be a tradcon white knight simp putting women up on pedestals. When you do that they look down on you. Not good.

[RainMan]

Reminds me of a joke from my youth ...

a man should always put a woman on a pedestal ... it makes it a lot easier to look up her skirt.

[SauronOfMordor]

Yes, women cannot love a man they do not respect and admire.

A woman cannot respect a man who becomes her doormat.

[Candor7]

Freepminder: What a non feminist woman look like......

[mewzilla]

Those aren’t feminists.

They’re Deep State handmaidens.

[Rummyfan]

LOL!

[Bernard]

"Young girls should avoid men like that at all costs and instead pursue corporate careers in the big city while going to clubs and sleeping with losers they meet on dating apps every weekend until they turn 38! Think of your careers, ladies!"

That describes almost every Hallmark movie plot. Until the girl goes to the country and meets a guy in a flannel shirt who drives a pick-up.

Strange thing, though. In those small towns, the only black guy in town is the Mayor. And the white girl heroine always has a black woman boss who can read cursive.

[Sirius Lee]

And just think of how many cats and cases off box-Chardonnay these gals can afford with all that independent woman career money!

[cport]

Perfect. Bumper sticker “Feminists are Deep State handmaidens”.

[SaveFerris]

[and meets a guy in a flannel shirt who drives a pick-up.]

It’s an “accidental” meeting and they laugh.

Then, there’s some complication and it looks like things just ... might ... not ... work ... out.

Then, an amazing miracle happens and it’s snowing and it’s Christmas.

I can’t afford a pick-up truck though I do have a few flannel shirts...

[SunkenCiv]

IOW, feminism is racism. Actually, this is Babylon Bee.

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[ByteMercenary]

That chick needs to look into Golo ...

[Mathews]

Smokin’ hot bodies!!!

[ABN 505]

If you like flannel shirts go to a WNBA game and check out the cheering section.