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New Star Wars Film To Feature Female Jedi Who Turns To The Dark Side At The Same Time Every Month
Babylon Bee ^ | 1-4-24 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/04/2024 2:36:34 PM PST by dynachrome

Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.

"We think female audiences will relate to a character who becomes moody and homicidal once a month," the film's director Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy told reporters in a press conference this week. "I mean, our target demographic is definitely women, right? So featuring an empowered, self-assured female Jedi who just sort of goes on a Dark Side-y type rampage once a month for…reasons…will click with the millions of women who flock to see our films."

"The force is female, and we know that a diverse, female-led Star Wars franchise is the key to the hearts of modern audiences," she said.

Obaid-Chinoy said they did extensive research on why a lady Jedi might turn evil once a month and discovered that mostly it relates to the fact that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and suffering leads to women needing a little alone time, a good bar of chocolate, and a hot bath.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; jedi; satire; starwars
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It's true!
1 posted on 01/04/2024 2:36:34 PM PST by dynachrome
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To: dynachrome

The Bee has been brutal lately.


2 posted on 01/04/2024 2:38:14 PM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
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To: dynachrome

Priceless.


3 posted on 01/04/2024 2:39:13 PM PST by Antihero101607
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To: dynachrome

I used to date her sister.

.


4 posted on 01/04/2024 2:39:51 PM PST by TLI (ITINERIS IMPENDEO VALHALLA)
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To: dynachrome

They are insane!


5 posted on 01/04/2024 2:40:53 PM PST by ComputerGuy (Heavily-medicated for your protection)
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To: metmom
Did you see their 2024 predictions?

The Babylon Bee's Predictions For 2024
babylonbee ^ | 1/2/2024 | babylonbee

Knowing how accurate the Bee is - count on these coming true.

6 posted on 01/04/2024 2:41:04 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (A truth that’s told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent ~ Wm. Blake)
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To: dynachrome

“Poor Me Syndrome”


7 posted on 01/04/2024 2:41:04 PM PST by equaviator (If 60 is the new 40 then 35 must be the new 15.)
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To: TLI

I used to date her sister.

_______________________________

Hell, I MARRIED her sister.


8 posted on 01/04/2024 2:41:56 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (A truth that’s told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent ~ Wm. Blake)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Yes and agree.


9 posted on 01/04/2024 2:43:44 PM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
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To: dynachrome
It is said that the Age of Aquarius will be a female dominant time when the goddess will end the patriarchy.

The thing is the goddess of this time will be childless, barren.

It's not that men have control issues, it's that we have to honor the roles nature has assigned to us.

The last time we let the woman in the driver seat this is what happened:

They're just going to screw everything up because they can't help themselves and don't know any better.

10 posted on 01/04/2024 2:49:22 PM PST by conservativeimage (Divorce the Deep State Peacefully: Become a State National: https://tasa.americanstatenationals.org)
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To: dynachrome

I Know How to Save Star Wars (and Marvel, Too)
https://pjmedia.com/vodkapundit/2024/01/04/i-know-how-to-save-star-wars-and-marvel-and-maybe-disney-too-n4925221


11 posted on 01/04/2024 2:49:37 PM PST by fretzer
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To: dynachrome

Bout right 🤣🤣🤣 this series has sucked since 1977 anyway.


12 posted on 01/04/2024 2:50:54 PM PST by maddog55 (The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
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To: dynachrome

Oh, this one is sure to spin up the trans-feminists!

Hahahaha!


13 posted on 01/04/2024 2:51:13 PM PST by Boomer (The Long Winter is coming...)
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To: TLI

Sounds like she could lead Rush’s All American First Cavalry Amazon Battalion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahPwlOOKedg


14 posted on 01/04/2024 2:51:25 PM PST by EvilCapitalist (81 million votes my ass.)
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To: dynachrome

What’s her Sith name?

Darth Menstrual XD


15 posted on 01/04/2024 2:56:47 PM PST by InsidiousMongo
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To: dynachrome

Gutbuster of the day...


16 posted on 01/04/2024 2:57:16 PM PST by rottndog (What comes after America?)
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To: dynachrome

Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.

I don’t care who you are that’s funny thanks Babylon Bee.


17 posted on 01/04/2024 3:00:56 PM PST by Vaduz
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To: dynachrome

Bookmark


18 posted on 01/04/2024 3:02:33 PM PST by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: InsidiousMongo

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦?

𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘔𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘟𝘋

I dunno about that, but I’m sure at some point in the movie she’ll hire bounty hunter, and body positivity activist Booba Fatt to track down the protagonists.


19 posted on 01/04/2024 3:03:09 PM PST by Antihero101607
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To: ComputerGuy

They’ve been insane ever since Walt Disney died.


20 posted on 01/04/2024 3:05:47 PM PST by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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