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With All The Female M&M's Off In Their Own Bag, Male M&M's Finally Enjoying Some Peace And Quiet
The Babylon Bee ^ | January 12, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/13/2023 12:47:52 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

U.S. — Male M&M's everywhere rejoiced after the announcement by Mars, Inc. that the female M&M's are getting their own bag. The male M&M's hope this change will finally give them some much sought-after peace and quiet.

According to sources, the red, yellow, blue, and orange M&M's are hoping this means they can finally get a little rest and relaxation, lounge around all day, and just hang out with the bros without being nagged to death.

"Yeah! Um, 'Empowered Women Empower Women' or whatever it is, right guys?!" said the Red M&M. "It's more important than ever to support women and give them their own space and stuff. And... I guess us boys having our own bag to stretch out in that's chatter and drama-free is pretty nice too."

When asked for comment, the Orange M&M described his experience so far without the female M&M's in the bag. "It's amazing in here now! We're free to snore, no need to clean up after ourselves or put the seat back down, and I can manspread as much as I want!" said Orange. "We should have pushed for all this female empowerment stuff years ago!"

At publishing time, the male M&M's were "kinda, sorta" starting to miss the girls again as life in the bag was starting to smell, everyone was getting hungry, and they needed a little help taking care of the Minis.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Food; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: females; males; mandms; nagging; papasgotabrandnewbag; peaceandquiet; satire; wokery; womenpower
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1 posted on 01/13/2023 12:47:52 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Man, I hope these guys are multi-millionaires.


2 posted on 01/13/2023 12:49:00 PM PST by stevio (Fight until you die.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

3 posted on 01/13/2023 12:49:13 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: Magnum44

😂


4 posted on 01/13/2023 12:49:45 PM PST by M_Continuum
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Now that we have male and female M&Ms, I’m going to breed own. Start an M&M ranch.


5 posted on 01/13/2023 12:58:21 PM PST by GMMC0987
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

😆


6 posted on 01/13/2023 1:09:24 PM PST by RushIsMyTeddyBear
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

No more having to talk about their feelings!


7 posted on 01/13/2023 1:12:54 PM PST by packagingguy
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

No more having to worry about the Female M & M’s saying “Do these pants make my ass look big?”


8 posted on 01/13/2023 1:24:40 PM PST by EvilCapitalist (81 million votes my ass.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I wonder if the Women M&Ms will disappear once every month for 5 days?


9 posted on 01/13/2023 1:24:59 PM PST by antidemoncrat
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Found a blue one in the female bag - said it identified as green.

Ate it anyway.


10 posted on 01/13/2023 1:37:45 PM PST by Stosh
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To: Stosh

LOL no mercy!


11 posted on 01/13/2023 1:49:18 PM PST by rlmorel ("If you think tough men are dangerous, just wait until you see what weak men are capable of." JBP)
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To: GMMC0987

I hear Montana encourages Dental Floss ranches.


12 posted on 01/13/2023 1:51:30 PM PST by gathersnomoss (LIVE FREE OR DIE)
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To: GMMC0987

I hear Montana encourages Dental Floss ranches.


13 posted on 01/13/2023 1:53:38 PM PST by gathersnomoss (LIVE FREE OR DIE)
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To: GMMC0987

Now that we have male and female M&Ms, I’m going to breed own. Start an M&M ranch.


That’s not going to work. These are modern, educated M&Ms. They’ve permanently replaced the knowledge on how to breed.


14 posted on 01/13/2023 1:56:00 PM PST by lepton ("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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To: EvilCapitalist
“Do these pants make my ass look big?”

Right answer: "No."

Wrong answer: "No. Your ass make those pants look big."

15 posted on 01/13/2023 1:56:32 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Soon the January 6 protesters will be held (without trial or bail) longer than Jefferson Davis was.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The Babylon Bee is what The Groundlings, Second City, SNL, and National Lampoon used to be...

...before the left decided no one should laugh any longer.

16 posted on 01/13/2023 1:59:48 PM PST by Magnatron
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Women M’s.


17 posted on 01/13/2023 2:01:11 PM PST by Rastus
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To: KarlInOhio

Lol!


18 posted on 01/13/2023 2:04:23 PM PST by EvilCapitalist (81 million votes my ass.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

M&MGTOW


19 posted on 01/13/2023 2:06:32 PM PST by 17th Miss Regt
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

for those who do not know, the male ones are the ones with nuts (peanuts).

So obviously, the ones without nuts are the females.


20 posted on 01/13/2023 3:31:18 PM PST by dirtymac ( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOW) )
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