Shame, shame, shame.
Posted on 02/06/2019 2:49:54 AM PST by sodpoodle
1. I was standing at the bar of at an international airport when this small Chinese guy came in, stood next to me, and started drinking a beer. I asked him, "Do you happen to know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?"
He said "No, I don't. And furthermore, why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I'm Chinese?"
"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little prick !"
2.JACK DANIELS TRICK
A woman goes to a counselor, worried about her husband's temper.
The counselor asks, "What's the problem?
The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my husband loses his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow until he either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn.
She tells the counselor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband started to get angry, I swished the Jack. I swished and swished, and he calmed down. How does swishing Jack Daniel's in your mouth do that?
The counselor said, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut is the trick.
What does a cat say when he’s using a cell phone?
“Can you hear me-ow?
The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Why did the lights go out?
Because they liked each other...
Two eggs, some bacon and a piece of toast walk in to a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, it we dont’t serve breakfast here”...
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: Because they *want* to!
"Ma'am, the last time I was with a woman was 1945" the General replied.
"That is unacceptable! Come with me!"
After the deed was done, she asked the General, "I bet that felt good after having been so long."
"Yes ma'am, but we really should get back to the party. It's already 2015."
A man goes into a Psychiatrist office naked with an onion ring hanging from his ear and says Doc It’s my brother, I think he’s nuts!!!
Man, am I slow.....had to read it twice and I’m a vet.
Shame, shame, shame.
I hate long winded jokes.
But those were excellent. LMAO!
Man, am I slow.....had to read it twice and I’m a vet.
Ha!!
Time flies, right :)
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