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More Unborn Babies In New York Identifying As Convicted Criminals So They Can't Legally Be Executed
The Babylon Bee ^ | 1/25/19 | Staff

Posted on 01/26/2019 8:55:35 PM PST by fungoking

NEW YORK—According to a new report, unborn babies in New York have adopted a new strategy to help them stay alive under the state's barbaric new abortion laws: identifying as convicted criminals so they can't legally be executed under the state's constitution.

Since capital punishment in the state has been banned but abortion is legal pretty much whenever and however you want, unborn babies quickly formulated the survival strategy of identifying as murderers, rapists, and genocidal maniacs.

"I now identify as a serial killer indicted on five counts of murder," said one 6-month-old baby, whose mother was considering an abortion. "Therefore, under state law, I cannot be executed. Sorry, mom." "Guess you'll just have to like be a mom or something," he added, shrugging.

State leaders were blindsided by the strategy and aren't sure whether they should restrict abortion or rescind the ban on capital punishment. "We're definitely in a bit of a pickle," Governor Andrew Cuomo said. "We must respect these babies' chosen identities as serial killers, and we obviously can't perform a lethal injection on a serial killer."

"That would just be inhumane," he added, shaking his head.


TOPICS: Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS: abortion; andrewcuomo; antipope; babylonbee; homosexualagenda; infanticide; newyork; popefrancis; romancatholicism; satire
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1 posted on 01/26/2019 8:55:35 PM PST by fungoking
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To: fungoking

Wow. That perfectly sums up the evil left.


2 posted on 01/26/2019 8:56:56 PM PST by EdnaMode
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To: fungoking

New York secular morals:

Mom can kill unborn baby anytime she desires for any reason.

State can’t execute murderers because that is inhumane.

We need to have a sdcond revolution in this country to purge out the godless socialists. the infection is just too great.


3 posted on 01/26/2019 8:58:43 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: fungoking

Amen....God bless this author for comparing and contrasting....the evil left’s hypocrisy.


4 posted on 01/26/2019 8:58:47 PM PST by Jane Long (Praise God, from whom ALL blessings flow.)
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To: fungoking
"...would just be inhumane..."

Inhumane...indeed.
5 posted on 01/26/2019 8:59:43 PM PST by budj (combat vet, 2nd of 3 generations)
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To: fungoking

Personally, I’m completely disoriented in a world where the expansion of infanticide is something to be particularly celebrated. I have no idea what the limits of what to expect next are. Cannibalism? Randomly setting people on fire for no reason? Involuntary amputation lotteries for public entertainment? My imagination may have reached its limits trying to cope with where we’ve come to be.


6 posted on 01/26/2019 9:03:56 PM PST by thoughtomator (Nobody is coming to save the day)
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To: fungoking

I realize its not for me to judge but it does seem like either God smites us down hard or rebuilds Sodom and Gomorah.


7 posted on 01/26/2019 9:05:24 PM PST by JerryBlackwell (some animals are more equal than others)
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To: fungoking

Andrew Cuomo: Loud, vile and evil Cardinal Dolan: Timid, silent and shameful.


8 posted on 01/26/2019 9:06:00 PM PST by allendale (.)
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To: Whenifhow; null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; 2ndDivisionVet; azishot; ...

p


9 posted on 01/26/2019 9:06:36 PM PST by bitt (forget the electric chair..we're gonna need electric bleachers!)
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To: fungoking

This satirical article is loaded with tons of flat out truth!!


10 posted on 01/26/2019 9:07:35 PM PST by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: fungoking
Leave it to the Babylon Bee to come up with this.

Liberals have more concern for baby seals than they do human babies.

11 posted on 01/26/2019 9:08:22 PM PST by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne)
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To: fungoking

Don’t know how much longer the Creator is going to put up with this.

The hammer is going to come down soon.


12 posted on 01/26/2019 9:09:06 PM PST by blackpacific
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To: Jane Long
Would someone please explain to me why we don't have one of "our" judges standing by with an order striking this law down as "unconstitutional?"

That strategy sure as hell seems to be working pretty well for the left.

13 posted on 01/26/2019 9:13:10 PM PST by daler
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To: allendale

I thought I read that the Bishops of New York excommunicated Cuomo.


14 posted on 01/26/2019 9:15:09 PM PST by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: daler

Great question!

With the spate of recent Judicial appointments....can’t we find at least ONE Judge who will place an injunction for the innocent unborn?


15 posted on 01/26/2019 9:15:12 PM PST by Jane Long (Praise God, from whom ALL blessings flow.)
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To: fungoking

They’ve got a photo of a prenatal ultrasound with the article. Someone should find a similar photo, and add a DIN (Department Identification Number) to to the babies picture...placing the number on a plaque, as if the baby is holding it. NY State prison numbers start with the last two digits of the year, so 19...then a letter, which would represent which facility they were processed through...something like A or B would suffice...then four different numbers. So it would look like 19A4567. I was a prison guard in NY’s prison system, so I’m familiar with their ID system.


16 posted on 01/26/2019 9:18:10 PM PST by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne)
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To: fungoking
Governor Cujo and his new digs:


17 posted on 01/26/2019 9:18:32 PM PST by Slyfox (Not my circus, not my monkeys)
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To: fungoking

This abomination brought forth by the state defines us as a culture. Human life means nothing, unless you are a mutilated trans gender freak.


18 posted on 01/26/2019 9:28:05 PM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: Salvation

No, Cuomo has not been excommunicated. There are many who suspect that he has so much dirt on the homosexual clergy and the bishops, that despite the evil in their midst, they neither speak nor take action. Sorry the homosexual corruption of the Catholic Church has destroyed its ability to speak and even say no to evil. It has lost its moral standing. What happened in Ireland is happening here. Yet there is hope that the Church one day will be regenerated by a faithful remnant. However the fact that an absolutely evil law has been passed and the Church hierarchy remains silent is telling.


19 posted on 01/26/2019 9:28:42 PM PST by allendale (.)
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To: allendale

Our hope then is in PRAYER and FASTING!


20 posted on 01/26/2019 9:46:45 PM PST by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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