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Joke: Stormy Daniels and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

Posted on 07/18/2018 9:07:25 AM PDT by gattaca

They both met with an angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

The angel said: "Unfortunately, there's only one space available in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted.”

The angel asked Stormy if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Stormy took off her top and said: "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.”

The angel thanked Stormy, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question.

The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushed it without saying a word.

The Angel immediately said: "Okay, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven.”

Stormy was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?”

"Sorry, Stormy," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a Royal Flush beats a Pair, no matter how big they are."​


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; jokes; laughs; lol

1 posted on 07/18/2018 9:07:25 AM PDT by gattaca
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To: gattaca

The biggest take away is there were no journalists at the Pearly Gates.


2 posted on 07/18/2018 9:19:20 AM PDT by bgill (CDC site, "We don't know how people are infected with Ebola.")
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To: gattaca

Are we to believe that those balloons are natural?


3 posted on 07/18/2018 9:24:19 AM PDT by DPMD
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To: gattaca

Thanks for the laugh...always welcome what with all the bad news.


4 posted on 07/18/2018 9:25:49 AM PDT by patriot08 ( 5th generation Texan- girl type. Check out my bio page for amazing Tex history!)
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To: patriot08
Thanks for the laugh...always welcome what with all the bad news.

I am not sure what you are talking about. Our economy is going gangbusters. President Trump just got our European dead beat allies to agree to pay many billions of dollars more for their own defense. He cultivated a cordial relationship with one of our leading adversaries despite the left's attempt to sabotage it. He even got North Korea to tone down their threatening rhetoric. Everything that I see developing lately is good news.

The mainstream media wants to bring you down because things are going well. When things were going bad under Obama they did the opposite.

5 posted on 07/18/2018 9:39:33 AM PDT by fireman15
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To: patriot08

I thought so, too.


6 posted on 07/18/2018 9:40:54 AM PDT by gattaca ("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
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To: gattaca

My wife and I both laughed. My wife commented that she wished my father was still living, as he would have appreciated that joke. Thanks.


7 posted on 07/18/2018 9:45:47 AM PDT by sitetest (No longer mostly dead.)
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To: gattaca

excellent!!! and her breasts are fake, but none of my beeswax. Just like she’s “39”, ok.


8 posted on 07/18/2018 10:07:21 AM PDT by ronniesgal ( I wonder what his FR handle is??)
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To: gattaca
Well, it is not funny but amusing none the less.
9 posted on 07/18/2018 10:39:47 AM PDT by Phlap (REDNECK@LIBARTS.EDU)
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To: gattaca

Jokes are funniest, like this one, when the punch line is unexpected.


10 posted on 07/18/2018 11:01:32 AM PDT by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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To: ronniesgal

Do we know anything that is TRUTHFUL about this street walker..

Does she have ANY FRIENDS at all?

Anyone know her from School days?

Something very strange about all of this...
just wondering.


11 posted on 07/18/2018 11:14:25 AM PDT by haircutter
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To: haircutter

I suppose her friends would be trying to get 15 mins. of fame on her coattails.
But nobody came out as an old school chum of Barry’s either.


12 posted on 07/18/2018 11:34:53 AM PDT by ronniesgal ( I wonder what his FR handle is??)
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To: bgill

Hahaha... that’s a good one!


13 posted on 07/18/2018 11:37:28 AM PDT by nikos1121
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To: gattaca

Stormy decided to protest the decision and demanded a lawyer. St. Peter told her “we don’t have any of those here.”


14 posted on 07/18/2018 11:40:37 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: gattaca

I got one, I just heard today.

A guy forgets the wedding anniversary. The wife is really mad and tells him, “You can make it up to me if there’s something metallic in the driveway tomorrow when I get up, that goes from zero to 200 in 6 seconds.”

Next morning, husband leaves for work. Wife wakes up and looks out on the driveway, and there’s a beautifully wrapped box.

She walks out in her robe and slippers and brings it in and opens it, finding a scale.


15 posted on 07/18/2018 11:44:23 AM PDT by nikos1121
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To: Billthedrill

Brilliant!


16 posted on 07/18/2018 11:45:29 AM PDT by gattaca ("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
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To: gattaca
<Patton> You should be flogged. </Patton>
17 posted on 07/18/2018 11:56:35 AM PDT by glock rocks (... so much win!)
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I watched a couple minutes of one of her movies so you don’t have to.

There is not much too them.


18 posted on 07/18/2018 3:04:35 PM PDT by Vermont Lt
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To: Vermont Lt

“There is not much too them.”

Rather repetitive.


19 posted on 07/18/2018 3:09:03 PM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (Wisdom and education are different things. Don't confuse them.)
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To: Lurkina.n.Learnin

I will restate: She is a lousy actress. In all facets of that particular genre.


20 posted on 07/18/2018 5:11:08 PM PDT by Vermont Lt
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