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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 03/17/2017 5:56:20 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Happy St. Patricks Day All

Ah....let's start if off with a good pun.

 

Right?

 

What did you say?

 

So that's what's at the end of the rainbow...



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; silliness; stpatricksday
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1 posted on 03/17/2017 5:56:20 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

2? That’s silly


2 posted on 03/17/2017 5:57:21 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (patriots win, Communists and Socialist Just-Us Warriors lose)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 6amgelsmama; 88keys; ...






CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


3 posted on 03/17/2017 5:57:58 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (People forget.....America is a Constitutional Republic, NOT a Democracy.)
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To: Lucky9teen

4 posted on 03/17/2017 5:59:27 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (patriots win, Communists and Socialist Just-Us Warriors lose)
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To: Lucky9teen

5 posted on 03/17/2017 6:03:07 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (patriots win, Communists and Socialist Just-Us Warriors lose)
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To: Lucky9teen

IN!!


6 posted on 03/17/2017 6:04:05 AM PDT by TADSLOS (Reset Underway!)
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To: Lucky9teen

Today's Twitter/HashTag Challenge...

#MakeASongIrish


7 posted on 03/17/2017 6:05:19 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (People forget.....America is a Constitutional Republic, NOT a Democracy.)
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To: TADSLOS
Where is everyone today?

It's not 5 O'clock yet.


8 posted on 03/17/2017 6:06:27 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (patriots win, Communists and Socialist Just-Us Warriors lose)
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To: Lucky9teen

9 posted on 03/17/2017 6:09:20 AM PDT by TADSLOS (Reset Underway!)
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To: Lucky9teen

10 posted on 03/17/2017 6:13:16 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (patriots win, Communists and Socialist Just-Us Warriors lose)
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To: Lucky9teen

With the Luck o’ the Irish, I’m here!!!


11 posted on 03/17/2017 6:14:13 AM PDT by Monkey Face (Often courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says "I'll try again tomorrow." TSM)
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Comment #12 Removed by Moderator

To: Lucky9teen

One of my Dad’s favorites

A man is fast asleep when the doorbell rings at 2am. His wife shakes him awake and tells him someone’s at the door.
He goes to the door as the ringing persists and opens it to find a small gentleman leaning against the door jam, reeking of whiskey, and barely awake.
“What do you want?” he asks the stranger.
“I need a push.”
“Go sleep it off, you drunk”, and closes the door.
The doorbell rings immediately and he opens it again.
“I just need a push.”
“No. Go sleep it off or I’ll call a cop.”
He slams the door and hears the door bell again as he heads down the call.
He hears the drunk shouting “I only need a push to get started!”
As he gets in bed his wife asks, “Who was it>”
“Some drunk wants help.”
“Well, remember that time our car broke down and we had to wake some farmer to help us? Be like him and go help the man.”
SO the guy grumbles, dresses quickly and heads down the hall and out the door.
He walks to the road and looks up and down, no one there.
“Where are you?” he shouts.
And a reply comes from the side of the house...
“Back here... on you swing!”


13 posted on 03/17/2017 6:17:00 AM PDT by theDentist ( qwerty ergo typo : i type, therefore i misspelll)
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To: Lucky9teen
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Cork, walks into the pub and promptly orders three pints. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three pints, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.

An hour later, the man has finished the three pints and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Pints.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three pints?"

"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two pints whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."

The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Pints became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then, on St. Patrick's day, the man comes in and orders only two pints. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening. He orders only two pints. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two pints and all.

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, me, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."

14 posted on 03/17/2017 6:20:11 AM PDT by FatherofFive (Islam is EVIL and needs to be eradicated)
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To: a fool in paradise
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially’ and 'realistically'?'
The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Come back and tell me what you learn from that.
So the boy went to his mother and said 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The mother replied 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids' to a great University!'
The boy then went to his sister and asked 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The girl replied 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt. I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'
The boy then went to his brother and asked 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
'Of course' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between potentially' and realistically'?'
The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially' you and I are sitting on three million dollars.
But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a queer.'
15 posted on 03/17/2017 6:21:43 AM PDT by TADSLOS (Reset Underway!)
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To: Lucky9teen

16 posted on 03/17/2017 6:23:34 AM PDT by real saxophonist ( YouTube + Twitter + Facebook = YouTwitFace.com)
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To: Lucky9teen

Irishman walks into a bar, orders a round for everyone, including the bartender. Turns out, he can’t pay, so the bartender roughs him up and throws him outside.

Week later, same thing - round of drinks for everyone, and one for the bartender. Sure enough, he can’t pay, so the bartender roughs him up and throws him outside.

Next week, he comes in and says “A round for everyone, but not one drop for the bartender. He gets awful mean when he drinks.


17 posted on 03/17/2017 6:33:49 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: Lucky9teen

An Irishman walks into a bar .... (stop me if you’ve heard this one before)....


18 posted on 03/17/2017 6:46:59 AM PDT by llevrok (A group of baboons is called a "congress." Just sayin' .....)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Friday!


19 posted on 03/17/2017 6:50:41 AM PDT by Travis T. OJustice (<---Time Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year)
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To: Travis T. OJustice

Enjoy “The Rattlin Bog” by The Irish Descendants! Try singing along! It’s fun!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxgmAwoqr4E


20 posted on 03/17/2017 6:55:24 AM PDT by Klemper
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