This is a test of the Emergency Silliness System
This is only a test.
Let's see how many pass this test....
Posted on 07/08/2016 6:10:50 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Crash test dummies or democrats? But I repeat myself...
Top 5
WOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF!!!!
Much needed silliness today.
Happy Friday!
IN!!
HAPPY FRIDAY!
HAPPY FRIDAY!
HAPPY FRIDAY!
We need silliness today! Thanks!
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8 Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16 Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5 Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before
Practice safe eating - always use condiments
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy
A hangover is the wrath of grapes
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired
What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under
Every calendar's days are numbered
A lot of money is tainted -Taint yours and taint mine
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat
He had a photographic memory that was never developed
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses
Acupuncture is a jab well done
8. Sarchasm- something that happens daily here on FR. LOL.
Why is proper behavior at a convention
like a New England state? It’s con etiquette.
What’s the difference between a tv news van and
Ted Kennedy’s car (his mom’s) at Chappaquiddick?
One’s a newsmobile, one’s an Oldsmobile.
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