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Joke for the day
Lucianne.com ^
| 17 Aug 2015
Posted on 08/17/2015 10:19:36 AM PDT by US Navy Vet
Stolen from Lucianne.com
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; joke
This is what happens when your child is exposed to too many commercials on TV.
A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.
Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.
To: US Navy Vet
would’a been 15 in our church
2
posted on
08/17/2015 10:20:41 AM PDT
by
knarf
(I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true.)
To: US Navy Vet
Doctor: You need to stop masturbating.
Patient: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m trying to examine you.
3
posted on
08/17/2015 10:21:36 AM PDT
by
Jeff Chandler
(Couples? Same-sex COUPLES?! Don't be such a narrow-minded hate-filled clusterphobe.)
To: US Navy Vet
4
posted on
08/17/2015 10:22:13 AM PDT
by
deoetdoctrinae
(Donate monthly and end FReepathons.)
To: Jeff Chandler
5
posted on
08/17/2015 10:22:57 AM PDT
by
cripplecreek
(Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.)
To: US Navy Vet
Good one. But what married man hasn't had an erection lasting close to four hours while trying to get his wife into the mood?
And, by the time of the resurrection, she's sound asleep.
6
posted on
08/17/2015 10:24:06 AM PDT
by
Vigilanteman
(Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
To: Vigilanteman
mine pencils in sex on the calender every 32nd day of the month
7
posted on
08/17/2015 10:27:29 AM PDT
by
advertising guy
(Mitch Mc Connell is a liar just as sure as Jenny McCarthy is a whore)
To: Jeff Chandler
8
posted on
08/17/2015 10:48:18 AM PDT
by
CGASMIA68
To: advertising guy
9
posted on
08/17/2015 10:53:47 AM PDT
by
dblshot
(I am John Galt.)
To: dblshot
10
posted on
08/17/2015 11:06:26 AM PDT
by
advertising guy
(Mitch Mc Connell is a liar just as sure as Jenny McCarthy is a whore)
To: advertising guy
11
posted on
08/17/2015 11:53:51 AM PDT
by
dblshot
(I am John Galt.)
To: Vigilanteman
My son-in-law went to the urologist for his vasectomy (I offered to just do it the old-fashioned way, with a brick, but for some odd reason he thought professional help was preferable).
Anyway, the nurse gave him a five-page questionnaire, and one of the questions read, "Are you currently having any sexual problems? Explain."
He checked the "Yes" box and wrote the explanation: "Marriage."
Upon reading it, the doctor laughed aloud.
12
posted on
08/17/2015 3:38:17 PM PDT
by
Hebrews 11:6
(Do you REALLY believe that (1) God IS, and (2) God IS GOOD?)
To: advertising guy
Could be worse. What if she granted it to you only on February 29th of odd-numbered years?
13
posted on
08/17/2015 3:46:25 PM PDT
by
Vigilanteman
(Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
To: Vigilanteman
14
posted on
08/17/2015 7:33:24 PM PDT
by
advertising guy
(Mitch Mc Connell is a liar just as sure as Jenny McCarthy is a whore)
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