Posted on 03/13/2015 7:29:02 AM PDT by BenLurkin
BenLurkin here, doing my best to stand in for the vacationing Lucky9teen. Lucky will be back next week tan, fit and rested.
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
No, this is NOT where Lucky is vacationing: 
Roger left for work on Friday morning. Friday the 13th was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay packet.
Finally, Roger appeared at home on Sunday night, and obviously he was confronted by his angry wife, Martha who castigated Roger for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally, Martha stopped the nagging and said to Roger, 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?'
Roger replied grimly, 'That would be fine with me.' Monday went by and he didn't see his Martha. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
By the Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Roger he could see Martha a little out of the corner of his left eye.
'Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?' Asks Vicky's best friend, Myra.
'Why shouldn't I, Myra?' responds Vicky.
'Well, maybe he is having an affair?' comments Myra.
'No way,' laughs Vicky, 'he never comes home with any fish.'
One Friday the 13th a traffic policeman stops a Maisie and asks to see her driving licence.
'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.'
'Well,' replies Maisie, 'I have contacts.'
'Lady, I don't care who you know, you're still going to get a ticket.'
Top 5!!!
Well done.
Yay!!!
Thank you for the post and ping.
Hope that Lucky9teen is having a nice vacation.
Bump
Good Morning!
Top 10. I never make that!!
TOP 20!
My favorite is Godwin...
NASA astronaut training — post budget cuts!
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