Headmaster accused of owning goblins, ordered to leave school

Sunday News [Zimbabwe] ^ | 23 March 2014 | Tinomuda Chakanyuka

[Slings and Arrows]

VILLAGERS in Dongamuzi area under Chief Gumede in Lupane are demanding the transfer of Ekuphakameni Secondary School headmaster Mr Peter Moyo, whom they accuse of owning goblins that have been terrorising pupils and teaching staff at the school.

Last term lessons at the school were disrupted for almost two weeks after teachers abandoned the school following several nights of sexual abuse by the alleged goblins.

Female teachers at the school claimed that during the night they would dream making love to someone and woke up the next morning with signs that they would have actually had sex during the night.

Some male teachers also claimed that they woke up every morning wearing female panties whose origin they did not know.

Villagers have called for the transfer of the school head whom they say was fingered during a recent cleansing ceremony held at the school.

[Slings and Arrows]

The American teachers' unions are kicking themselves for not thinking of this one.

[Slings and Arrows]

Some male teachers also claimed that they woke up every morning wearing female panties whose origin they did not know.

Good party, huh?

[ClearCase_guy]

“Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of schools, and I tell you, people do that all the time.” — George Costanza

[Darksheare]

The goblin protection act of 1999 prevents the abuse and misuse of goblins in this manner.

[Army Air Corps]

A case of Goblin see, Goblin do?

[cripplecreek]

The goblins need to unionize.

[Fungi]

Mugabe took the country to a living hell.

[shibumi]

"...whom they say was fingered during a recent cleansing ceremony held at the school."

Somet8imes the jokes just write themselves.

[Rides_A_Red_Horse]

Some male teachers also claimed that they woke up every morning wearing female panties whose origin they did not know.

Good party, huh?

---

Depends, if they’re size 4XL...not really.

[MeshugeMikey]

Transgoblinism is on the rise in Zimbabwe!

[ronnie raygun]

Thank god it wasnt hob goblins

[Slings and Arrows]

"It's discrimination, I tell you!"

[bunkerhill7]

Invasion of the Pygmies.

[Jack Hydrazine]

He owns this actor???

[Slings and Arrows]

I’m pretty sure that goblin problems are pre-Mugabe (which in no way excuses his atrocities).

[Darksheare]

Next up: kobolds.

[Slings and Arrows]

It’s goblin karma.

[2ndDivisionVet]

The small country of Belgium (population 10 million) has more money than ALL of sub-Saharan Africa. Now do you see why?

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

:: they accuse of owning goblins ::

And millions of Americans believe that mankind is overheating the Earth.

I fail to discern a difference in these populations.

[Pan_Yan]

Dobby is sorry. Dobby wants to stay at Hogwarts.