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Posted on 02/07/2013 7:41:06 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet
Today FBI and Department of Agriculture agents raided a West side Chicago school. Agents arrested 10 juveniles and 1 teacher in a contraband food sting conducted at the school over the last year. The students were charged with operating a ring that smuggled Ding-Dongs, Ho-Hos, Twinkies and other contraband food items into the school. Since the school had banned these items from their menus and from vending machines, there was an underground black market at the school. Each day these students packed 4 to 10 contraband items in their lunches brought from home and auctioned them off to desert starved fellow students at $5 to $10 per item. The teacher arrested was the school designated and Dept. of Agriculture certified lunch checker who was supposed to personally verify each home packed lunch brought into the school. The teacher had been compromised by the students after they learned the teacher was having an affair with one of the students gay older brother. The Federal Prosecutor for the Chicago area, Fitzgerald, stated that he was going to charge all of the students as adults with multiple felony counts of racketeering. Although charging juveniles with felonies as adults was not considered normal, Fitzgerald stated that he was doing it because of the special circumstances in the case. If not charged with felonies as adults, these students would be free in the future to vote, bear arms, start businesses and probably join the evil Tea Party, which must be precluded at all costs. The teacher involved would be given a "David Gregory" provided that he met privately with several of the deputy prosecutors and performed some community service. From the White House, Moo stated that she was elated to see that this vicious right wing conspiracy was taken out of action without Barry unleashing the drones on them.
They are more concerned with contraband twinkies than contraband firearms.
Whats the fuss? Chic a go. ha ha. Nine out of ten of those kids would have been murdered this year. Problem solved.
this is a joke right?
I hate
paragraphs
myself.
Cheers!
The Twinkies, Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs are no longer even made, They are Hostess products.
Today, yes .... tomorrow, maybe not.
You forgot the jerky-bacon mafia connection. They’re a slippery bunch.
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Just goes to show the state of things today, that for a second, I thought this might be a real news story.
same here, the sad part is, it just might be true tomorrow.
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“this is a joke right?” I hope so, if it’s not it’s the one of the stupidest use of government funds I have ever heard of. So now their the Ho Ho, and Ding Dong police. Glad to see their moving up to the big things. Whats next the lolly pop guild in the grade school?
This is from the “Onion”, right?
I say if we can make it till next election we’ll be okay. The only reason it would be confiscated is so Mooochelle can eat it herself.
You need to trade some of those Twinkies for paragraphs.
COUNTERFEIT Twinkies, Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs. If the feds had exercised the Obozo Executive Order powers responsibly, they would have declared all three yummies to be federal property until further notice as though they were Chevrolet assembly lines. Then they could have charged those junior racketeers with counterfeiting as well.
Funny stuff, but the keyboard kommandos won’t get it.
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