Posted on 11/11/2012 12:18:55 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde
I confess. I'm horrid at tipping. I dread that moment when that impersonal folder is placed discreetly at my elbow, and I begin the task of checking the bill and scrutinizing the service. I came in for a meal and I still resent the fact that I can't pay for just my meal.
When I was a kid, tipping was different. I remember watching my dad pay the bill, then as we stood to go he would tuck a few bills under a saucer or a salt shaker. When I asked, he explained that our waitress did a good job, paid extra attention to us, made our meal pleasant, and he wanted her to know he appreciated it. That made an impression on me, because it told me that a job well done had its rewards.
Fast forward to today. We are expected to have our meal selections made in a matter of seconds. Hot plates arrive half way thru the salad, and the bill arrives with a convenient line for a diner to indicate the tip amount. Get us in, get the money, get the next party sat.
Because, you see, a tip today is an entitlement. We are expected to pay extra for the basic service. We are not asked if we appreciate the attention. That is assumed. We are grateful to just get service, and maybe if the service was really bad its acceptable to ditch the tip. Waiters assume we will make up for the deficit in their wages. Because, you know, it's just not fair that they don't make the salary that Joe the Stockbroker makes.
I have my share of tipping horror stories. Like the waiter who waited for me outside the ladies room and demanded to know why his tip was below 20%, forgetting that he got half our orders wrong, wrote nothing down, charged us regular price for happy hour drinks, and we had to hunt him down when we needed him. There was the waitress who believed that because I paid in cash she could help herself to my change.
Spare me the argument that its a poor paying tough job, and just agree with me that some endeavors are just a gamble. Do we sit down at the poker table and blame the other players for hand we are dealt? Do we make the dealer take their cards to give us a better hand? Or do we try to make the best of the hand we are dealt? Do we try to make it up with the next hand?
At least in life, we are not forced to fold. We can play as many hands as we can stand, stay in the game as long as we want.
Anyway, I had my lunch today, the waitress performed her job according to her job description, I made no unreasonable demands, and I quietly added 15% to my bill. But deep down I resent her entitlement attitude that I have to pay for her minimum wage choice.
Preparing for Freeper backlash.........
LOL! Some of the responses are classic. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I’m on DU.
Yes, I think the drive-thru is just your speed. We all need to know our place.
If that's your stance, then the ethically appropriate course of action is to either avoid places where a tip is customary, or inform the waitstaff up front of your view. Tipping is an agreed-upon social construct and their base pay is structured accordingly; if you choose not to tip yet regularly dine at restaurants then in fact it's you who are acting entitled.
I tip often and reasonablably well, even generously, especially to people I'll see again and again like the mechanic that works on my car.
When I give him a generous but discreet tip he remembers and goes out of his way to help me. I return and ask for him and praise him to the service manager.
I'm not a wealthy person but when I go to my favorite restaurant the waitress's remember my effusive praise and generous tips and elbow each other out of way to serve me.
So don't tip if you don't want to but I like being treated with extra care and treat others that way.
Tells a lot about you, as does your uniformed rant against waiters/waitresses.
BULLETIN: They get WAY below minimum wage. Lucky to get half. Their tips ARE their ‘wage.”
You are the who sounds “entitled.” Entitled to go out to eat and get served as though your entitled to free service at the expense of those who work hard for their living.
Wow, what a butthole-ish comment.
It’s not our, the customer’s responsibility to make sure waiters make minimum wage. So why do you demonize the customer instead of the business owner?
Well that explains a lot. One of our government overlords can't be bothered to follow the norms of a polite society, can they?
If they want my money they can give me good service.
I don't believe in giving money for nothing.
Adequate means they took my order and brought my food, that's all.
And as for being cheap, I have been known, for outstanding service, to give a 40% tip on a bill of hundreds of dollars. So pi$$ off.
Bingo.
As I said, enough folks like the OP and restaurants will pay their staff minimum wage. I am willing to bet prices will go up far more that 15 or 20%. Servers will make less and be crabby; customers will pay more on the bill and be crabby. But, the OP won’t have to deal with those entitlement attitudes anymore. Win/win? I don’t think so.
I still remember the young man at Red Lobster being shocked when my husband slipped him a $40 tip and made a point of saying it was for him and him only. I thought he was going to cry!
Anyway, I was a waitress and a good one. At the time, the actual salary (not tips) was about a quarter of minimum wage.
I disliked waiting on women because they were lousy tippers. Men tip well unless they're black. I'm a good tipper, but I also demand service and since I was a waitress I know how to do it well. I worked at enough different places to figure out that franchises are the *safest* place to eat and often the local fancy place is a health nightmare.
Work in restaurants, and you learn things you'd really rather not learn.
Did you know that many restaurants require the wait staff to fork over a percentage of the tips?
I also had several customers "walk their tab"--leave without paying. That was taken out of my salary and I quit on the spot.
I do understand the "entitlement" thing, but realize that if you stiff someone they won't see it that way, especially if they have done a good job.
I understand the entitlement thing because I have recently started to get therapeutic massages and was surprised to discover that on top of the cost I'm expected to hand over another 20%. These are trained professionals who earn more than an RN per hour, and I'm supposed to tip them? But I do.
But anyone who expects a gratuity is no professional.
I remember only one terrible service with a group of family members. We left one penny as a tip. My usual is the 20% unless there is a reason for less. I only eat out 1 to 2 times a year.
People of limited inteligence can’t do the job of waiter or waitress. It takes some smarts to do the job at all.
Ah, you did your homework. Good boy.
So how would you feel if you knew I was taking your, uh, tax money and using it to tip for poor service?
Or would you and your illustrious fellow posters prefer that I tip according to the service I receive?
I know what you would say because I hear it all the time. You’d be horrified if you thought I were leaving 20% at every restaurant I visit.
No, tips = service.
It changed because minimum wage was instituted with an exception for wait staff. Had the exception not been made then a tip would still be a tip instead of an ‘obligation’. And don’t feel alone after growing up under the same rules your dad mentioned and several years in Japan where a tip was considered an insult (though that is sadly changing a little), I’m a terrible tipper - I’ve made my point loudly once or twice when the service was bad and I was challenged. Normally like you I drop the 15% and am done, but on that rare occasion when I get an outstanding waitress or waiter I’ll really go all out and leave from a 50-1000% tip. I gave a cabby a $100 tip once for getting me somewhere on time (without breaking the law). Unfortunately it’s very rare and happening less often.
Maybe the OP gets a per diem, and whatever amount they can avoid paying out by stiffing waiststaff goes into their pocket (and is non-taxeable too, if I'm not mistaken).
Not sure how you square that against your original comment on the matter: "If the service is great they get a 20% tip."
I think I'll stand by my original comments.
You count up your cash tips at the end of the evening, and if it's a place with liquor you have to "tip" the bartender even if none of your customers ordered alcohol.
Then if you're nice liberal Mario Bitalli (sp?) you sometimes take half the tips--
Also, restaurants are responsible for making sure that the tips are reported as income for taxes.
What gets me is when you eat in a fancy place, like Ruth Chris's (twice in my whole life! Divine!!) that tip can really hurt!!
Actually, if you were earning it, I wouldn't really care how you spent it. The problem is, as you have pointed out, one's pay should be commensurate with the services they've provided.
I've never received a single service from your agency, but am forced to subsidize it anyways.
Look them up in the dictionary.
You can think what you like.
What’s wrong with that - I say starve the beast. tflabo more than likely is paying for their freebies already. I wouldn’t even hire anyone who I knew voted for obama.
You don’t like it, then you have an entitlement or guilt problem. I’m not responsible for their lack of knowledge that elections have consequences and besides it’s over their entitlement head to get it. Let them b*tch about a zero tip on their free phone - while they have to count out more food stamps to cover it.
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