Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
Posted on 04/01/2011 5:55:32 AM PDT by BallandPowder
It is the day of foolishness.
Don't be somebody's prey, be a predator.
I’ll have the breakdown of answers at 11:30 EST.
One time at work, I put marshmallows under the four corners of a keyboard while the victim was away from his desk. I put a stuffed toy mouse for cats (get at the grocery store in the pet section) in the work refrigerator upside down. Screams like you would not believe. lol!
Great! I have someone coming over to the house so I'll probably check in sometime this afternoon EDT.
This is fun!
Powder..patch..ball FIRE!
Grouch... I dub thee “Pink Eye of Unk”.
Too late. You should have set a test in front of them covering Keats and Kipling.
“Write down how you feel that Whitman and Dickinson would solve the following 5 calculus problems, and would it rhyme?”
powder..patch..ball FIRE!
Ping....
On Windows 7, right-click the desktop and select SCREEN RESOLUTION. In the drop-down menu under ORIENTATION, choose LANDSCAPE FLIPPED, then click OK and exit.
I’m doing that one to my Wife when she comes home later today.
Hand out a test on Dickens. Seriously! Watch their faces and then just laugh. However, I would not leave open cans of soda around!
Sheeeesh, lighten up Francis.
The "Do Now" was replaced with "April Fools!"
A few of my students had copied it into their notebooks before they realized what they'd copied, and two were upset when they had to erase it.
By the way, I'm a NYC public high school teacher, and it's usually an Algebra class ... when I'm not reteaching fractions or division or those things.
My co-teacher was not amused.
Letter I sent to my fellow teachers today....yes some fell for it.
Friends,
This seems to be the time of year for this type of announcements, but I have decided to take my 25 and out retirement, resign my position here at LHS, and pursue work in another field. My brother-in-law is an aircraft engineer with McDonnell Douglas in Wichita KS. Recently they have started a project with about $1.2 Billion of the government stimulus money to try to make private and maybe someday commercial air travel more “green”. He and some of his co-workers have formed a small company to work as private contractors on the project and he has offered me a research position in the company. The pay and the ability to double dip with my retirement makes it too good an offer to pass up.
By using a combination of solar and human biomechanical power to provide in flight electrical generation, the government feels that greenhouse emissions can be reduced by .06553% for the average twin engine private jet. One of the concerns driving the research is that so many of the leading environmentalists have to do much of their travel by private jet. Commercial air travel simply doesn’t provide the flexible schedule, on time reliability, privacy from the public, and amenities that someone like Al Gore or a celebrity Hollywood spokesperson needs. Sadly, these visionaries have been criticized by the small minded for flying to a college across the country or Rio for an environmental conference by private jet to lecture on the need for others to reduce their carbon footprint. By “greening” those private jets our company hopes to mute this charge of hypocrisy.
Naturally, I expressed some doubt about the usefulness of my education background in a such a high tech project, but my brother-in-law assured me that the current administration doesn’t place a high priority on competency as long as you are earnest in your efforts. I’m really excited about the project and can already see other applications in both limousines and private yachts.
Thanks for all the great years here at LHS and enjoy that early out today.
The question:
Why?
The possible answers:
Why not? = A
Because =B
Every student delivered an answer ranging from:
“They hasn’t married”
to
“Mr. ******* they never married so why the dumb question”
In her defense, the first answer was answered that way by a blonde. No one got it wrong, mainly because I explained the Whitman “bisexual” angle and the Dickinson “died a virgin” angle.
Here’s mine:
Dear teachers,
I have discussed this with my wife, and I have decided to pursue a career in culinary arts as a sushi chef. Ever since I sliced open my first trout during a childhood trip to Chunky Mud Creek in Rocky Bottom, Maryland, I have been fascinated with the sensation of slicing out fish into little blocks so that I can pat them together with balls of vinegared rice. Sometimes I even wash my hands before doing so.
So yes, I’m bound for Osaka. When I asked my wife if I cod go, she didn’t carp a bit, and is hopeful that I don’t flounder. You betta believe that I’ll do mahi bass, and aim for that high perch that few in a grouper can reach. I promised her I’d put my heart and sole into it. It’s always been my bream. I know you can’t believe what you’re herring, so eel just say April Fool’s and I hope you all have a nice ray.
Cordially,
Very good and very interesting. You have smart students. :0)
Maybe that student should take a class on basic grammar before tackling your literature class?
I wished they offered it, but it really seems to be too late by their junior year.
I have yelled at kids for writing “weather or not” and it never seems to stick.
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