Meet the real 40-year-old virgins

NewScientist.com ^ | June 5, 2009 | Ewen Callaway

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Contrary to Hollywood notions, the 40-year-old virgin is not an awkward yet funny and endearing electronics salesman played by Steve Carell.

He is a church-going teetotaller who has neither been to jail nor served in the military, according to a new survey of more than 7000 people. He also represents an estimated 1.1 million American men and 800,000 women aged 25 to 45 who have never had sex.

The study, led by urologist Michael Eisenberg of the University of California, San Francisco, will appear in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. His team's survey found that 13.9 per cent of men and 8.9 per cent of women said they have never had sex.

Men and women who attended church at least once a week were respectively 5 and 3.9 times more likely to be virgins than those who attended church less often. Virgins of both sexes were slightly less likely to have swigged a beer in the last year, compared to non-virgins. And women with college degrees were 5.4 times more likely to be virgins than women who never got their Bachelor's.

Men who attended the military or spent time behind bars were slightly less likely to be 40-year-old virgins than those not exposed to such discipline. "We used incarceration or military service as surrogate markers for exposure to violence or aggressive behaviour," Eisenberg's team writes.

This may be true for prison, but people join the military for reason other than aggressive tendencies. "The entire reason for the low rate of virgins with military experience is likely less clear than simply those with violent or risk taking tendencies," they add.

[Verginius Rufus]

There were 83 million people in the US from age 25 to 44 in 2009 (if those actually aged 45 were included that would make about 87 million).

My guess is that percentagewise the proportion of virgins is highest in the 25 to 30 year old bracket and lowest in the 40 to 45 year old bracket.

I had a great-grandfather who married for the first time at 42, remarried after his first wife died, and fathered 8 children in all. He died long before I was born and I have no idea as to whether he had any sexual experiences before his first marriage.

[BwanaNdege]

Are you referring to my wife, i.e. “She Who Must Be Obeyed”?

(Actually, that is her ‘school teacher’ name.)

[Big Bronson]

I made it to my 15th birthday. Glad I saved it for the girl next door who was a year older.

[diverteach]

“800,000 women aged 25 to 45 who have never had sex”

Didn’t know we had that many nuns in that age bracket in this country.

Hell, I didn’t think there was that many nuns period. LOL

[fr_freak]

Sounds like if someone doesn’t find Happily Ever After by 30, they should give up trying, because something is “wrong with them.

Not in my view. The previous poster who said that never-married middle-aged men should be avoided must believe that, but I think you can find your true mate at any age. Just avoid the ones who have been divorced already.

[fr_freak]

What if these women are divorced because their ex-husbands cheated on them or abused them?

Then I would guess, in general terms, that the woman either has a personality defect that causes her to select horrible men (a defect that would most likely be incompatible with a decent man), or she'll have trust issues afterward, in which case she'll make her new man pay for her past man's behavior.

[Caipirabob]

300,000 more women are NOT virgins compared to men? Interesting.

Yes, I was quite busy in my single days...

[terycarl]

I made it to my 15th birthday. Glad I saved it for the girl next door who was a year older.

I made it to 22 and married...never regretted that....going on 50 pretty good years....1 man, 1 woman

[Some Fat Guy in L.A.]

Does practice on your own count?

[djf]

To heck with the 1.1 million American men!

Give my phone number to the 800,000 babes.

I’m free tonight...

[Dan(9698)]

I would never ever propose to a woman unless and until we had a really, really bad fight.

In that case my wife and I would still waiting.

We have been married for 49 years and still are waiting for a fight.

[Secret Agent Man]

No, that’s why they call it “practice”. You don’t have to apologize to your hand.

[grey_whiskers]

I'm sorry, brumuy, but you left out one likely category:

A significant proportion of DUmmies, If you catch my drift.

Cheers!

[grey_whiskers]

What if these women are divorced because their ex-husbands cheated on them or abused them?

Isn't that the type of man who likes to shoot the new boyfriend *first*, before finishing off his -ex?

NO cheers, unfortunately.

[heartwood]

For example, I would never ever propose to a woman unless and until we had a really, really bad fight.

But what if you just didn't find anything to fight about? My husband and I would have waited decades...

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

No, sorry to say. Somebody must be penetrated for it to count.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

When my middle-aged divorced women friends ask me about middle-aged guys they are dating that have never been married, I tell them that there is a reason they have never been married and to stop wasting their time with those guys.

...after all, none of THOSE guys should ever be allowed to enjoy the relationships that come so easily to others. It's like a law. They should instead be resigned to watch all the couples stroll by, hand-in-hand, with building resentment...

Of course, if it's because THOSE guys aren't really serious about a relationship, then maybe you're right...

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

I don’t know if you ever watched any of the old Warner Brothers Foghorn Leghorn cartoons. But if you did, perhaps you saw the “weasel” character in them. Scrawny, bug eyed, hyperactive, so excitedly nervous that he was twitching, and slobbering in his greed.

http://onefoggy.tripod.com/images/weasel.jpg

Well, if you find a superbly obese woman, no matter her situation, she has likely been harassed at some point by a very determined human version of the weasel.

Just like the cartoon character, they tend to be scrawny, hyperactive types, disinterested in normal sized females, or even fat ones. Only when the women are walking mounds of blubber, suddenly they become the ultimate object of lust for these shrimps.

I watched one such furtive courtship ritual in a small convenience store, where she was the cashier. As soon as he walked in the door, she loudly advised him that he had been warned, that as soon as he entered, she was going to call her husband, who was going to thump him. And she did.

Husband on the way, it didn’t matter. He went into a full, lustful begging of her to give him her favors, swearing that he loved her, that he adored her. And it didn’t stop until her husband arrived, and Romeo had to run out the exit to get away from him.

The little rodent even suggested a threesome with her and her husband. Chased off, her husband and her went into a mutually reaffirming rant against the horn dog, her husband screaming how he was going to thump him, and her screaming the sooner the better.

We live in a strange world.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

When my middle-aged divorced women friends ask me about middle-aged guys they are dating that have never been married, I tell them that there is a reason they have never been married and to stop wasting their time with those guys. None of those women ever married to one of those kind of guys.

And yet... I married a middle aged, never married, before guy. He has made a terrific husband.

Same for another friend of mine who married a middle aged, never before married guy. The quiet and shy ones tend to be overlooked. But when you take the time to cultivate them... oh baby!

[headstamp 2]

Thank You