Posted on 02/21/2011 5:19:10 AM PST by DCBryan1
Situation: Today is President's Day. Obama is AWOL and YOU are President for one (1) day until he comes off of his cocaine high.
Question: What would you do if you were President for one (1) day?
Conditions: You cannot use nuclear weapons.
You cannot invade Canada.
You cannot violate the Constitution.
You MUST be a Christian.
You cannot assault, murder, imprison any American.
You can only concentrate on FIVE (5) items.
On your mark, get set, go!
Anyways, those are my proposals....what would you enlighted, Christian, Constitution-loving Freepers do?
Disband ALL public sector unions.
I would take AF1 to Hawaii for a round of golf, even though I don’t play golf. (kidding).
“You cannot violate the Constitution.”
Would that our current POTUS felt bound by this constraint...
I would insist that people tell the truth and say "government" rather than the euphemistic and benevolent-sounding "public sector". It is government employee unions.
Along those lines,
I would fire all tsars, all democrat donators in positions of management in Government, every officer at NPR and PBS, and every butt kissing politically correct military officer that is pushing correctness.
Then I would name a few dozen Reagan style judges to federal seats.
Put Lady Gaga on a rocket to Alpha Centauri. Ugh! Talk about the fall of Western Civilization!
Hang all the Democrats in Congress, along with their staffs.
Hang all the Democrats in the various State houses, along with their staffs.
Permanantly disenfranchise all Democrat voters.
Mine both borders.
Repudiate all debt with Chinkna.
AFTER ALL, I’M PRESIDENT—SINCE WHEN DO I FOLLOW RULES/LAWS ETC???
This one is easy...
Repeal every single Progressive law, idea ever created.
Create the circle of shame where every single Progressive is represented and they are exposed as to the fraud and evil that they are in their own words.
1) Pull a Charlie Sheen in the White House with Hooter girls and Jack Daniels
2) Moon Hillary Clinton
3) Blare Rush Limbaugh’s Radio show out a helicopter flying over liberal neighborhoods like the scene from Apocalypse Now
4) Read all the sealed documents on Roswell, JFK and any other conspiracy story on live TV
5) Tell the Middle East to kiss our Arse on live tv
#1. Find all necessary documentation to insure that Obama could not retake the office the next day. Hore him a moving company.
#2. Force Biden to Resign - appoint VP Palin.
#3. Eliminate Depts. of Education, HHS, Commerce. Order EPA to drop climate change rules, allow drilling in Gulf of Mexico, ANWAR, et al.
#4. Order Treasury to implement flat tax.
#5. Start undoing Obama’s doings.
Oops - bad spelling error: “HIRE” him a moving company.
< whining >I never get to have any fun.< / whining >
1.) I would start up the Raptor program again and authorize it for export
2.) initiate a special investigation into Obama’s eligibility to be President
3.) start mass firing of people in the EPA, BATFE, and various other alphabet agencies.
4.) issue an executive order that prohibits duly appointed LE agents from declining to sign off on a class 3 tax stamp to anyone for any reason other than a reason that would preclude the individual from owning a fdirearm in the first place
5.)secure the border with soliders and issue an executive order that compells federal LE officers to arrest the mayors and council members of any city that refuses to enforce US immigration laws i.e. sanctuary cities
Why MUST you be a Christian to be eligible?
Condemn all land within 100 meters of the southern border. Issue an executive order exempting border defenses from environmental regulations.
Start building the d@mn wall. WITH a minefield.
Issue “sink on site” orders to the USN for all pirates. Order them the USN / USMC to start planning an attack on Somalia to recover hostages, recover captured ships, and destroy remaining vessels.
Zero out the Department of Education.
Zero out the BATFE.
Zero out the Dept. of Labor and the “Labor Relations Board.”
Zero out Dept. of HHS.
Zero out DEA.
Zero out NPR
Zero out NEA.
Rename the Department of Defense to Department of War.
Have Eric Holder arrested.
Start the process of privatizing Social Security (I’d rather shut it down, though.).
End collective bargaining with any Union purporting to represent Federal Employees.
Start a covert war on terrorist financiers.
1) Waterboard Hillary Clinton for answers about Vince Foster.
2) Apologize to Israel and Great Britain for the recent aberrations and ask for Churchill’s bust back.
3) Piss on John Murtha’s grave.
4) Destroy every teleprompter the fedgov owns.
5) Encourage Arizona to change its state motto to FUBO.
1) Play golf at an expensive course.
2) Invite some sports stars over to the WH for nachos.
3) Take the wife on date night in another city.
4) Make some speeches that say nothing substantive.
5) Find another way to hurt the economy.
Oh wait...that’s what I’d do if I was Obama. If I were President, I’d find something useful to do.
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