Japan Man Accidentally Given Artificial Rectum

We Interrupt ^ | 21 October 2009 | C. S. Magor

[Candor7]

A Japanese man misdiagnosed as having rectal cancer is suing the hospital that he says unnecessarily gave him an artificial rectum. The man, who has not been identified, underwent surgery to remove a tumor in March at a university hospital in Miyzaki prefecture, western Japan. Following the surgery, his doctor informed him that no cancerous cells had been found in the removed tissue.

The complainant is seeking 35 million yen (USD $385,000) in damages.

[Candor7]

Wrecked him? Darn near killed him.

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

Please stop by the FReepathon thread and give it a bump. If you haven’t donated yet, please give it some thought.

Thank you!

[Raycpa]

This guy is anal-retentive.

[Palin Republic]

>The man, who has not been identified, underwent surgery to remove a tumor in March

[Yossarian]

I wonder if anyone ever angrily said to this guy "I'm going to tear you a new @$$***e!"

If so, maybe they finally followed through on the threat....

[HangnJudge]

[Delacon]

Gentlemen We can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability to make the worlds first bionic spincter.
This stupid sum bitch will be that man
Better than he was. Better. Stronger. More regular.

[E Rocc]

That’s nothing. We elected one President.

[hatfieldmccoy]

The man’s removed rectum recovered and now goes by the name of Rahm Emanuel

[Safrguns]

We have the technology....

We can rebuild him...

Better than before...

But we will have to upgrade the toilets.

(cue in 6-million dollar man theme music)

[unkus]

Done. Good message. Get ‘er done, folks.

[unkus]

LOL...you got that right.

[shibumi]

Thought this might be “up your alley.”

(I know - God will *pun*ish me for that.)

[Squantos]

Wonder if he can tune that puppy to play sonatas when he farts ?

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

Thanks, unkus....

[dalereed]

Barney’s new boy friend!

[Markos33]

"(I know - God will *pun*ish me for that.)"

That's why I didn't want to make this poor guy the butt
of any of my jokes.

[YHAOS]

A bell that cannot be unrung.

[madamemayhem]

now that is a pain in the as$.

[JoeProBono]

[unixfox]

That’ll leave a mark!

[unkus]

>Thank you<, ButThreeLeftsDo. We must be strong and fight them.

[Delacon]

I just dont like bathroom humor. I put you all behind me. I wipe my hands of all of you. For me, this is the end of this.

[oust the louse]

$385,000? How about $3,850,000....anyone that messes with my azz for noreason will pay. dude, put another zero on that figure. You got not Obiden back there anymore....

[Candor7]

[mnehring]

Sue? Why not be happy you don’t have cancer but you ended up with a cyborg butt?

[Delacon]

I just wont sit down for this kinda humor. Hey, I appreciate scatalogical jokes, but these docs went too far.

[GeronL]

BRD!!! BRD!!!

[SunkenCiv]

The same thing happened in China to some poor guy, and he needed another artificial rectum a half hour later.

[LowOiL]

Ok, I chuckled.

[rdl6989]

Unnngh!

[Delacon]

Unnngh!

Thats what he said. Well, in his language. Ayeeeee?

[RichInOC]

PATIENT: IT'S YOU!!
DR. CATS: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMAN!!
DR. CATS: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
DR. CATS: YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO CONSTIPATION.
PATIENT: WHAT YOU SAY!!

[scott7278]

He wanted to be more holey.

[rdl6989]

I’m sure Pelosi is adding something to the healthcare bill to encourage this.

[scott7278]

It was all a misunderstanding. He said that he needed an “ace in the hole” and it got all twisted around and jumbled.

[Slings and Arrows]

Barney Frank buys them by the gross.

[scott7278]

If it were Obamacare, they’d probably hand him a paper towel tube and say “good luck.”

[hoagy62]

All joking aside, what the hell is an artificial rectum??? I’ve never even HEARD of such a thing!!!

[woofie]

Ive seen em at that XXX place on Main street

[Boiling point]

Thats, nothin! I once had an Aunt with a cedar chest!

[eldoradude]

Rectum? Isn't that the new Chevy?

Or are they going to come up with a sequel to the Saturn line called the Uranus line. Gotta be their new "green" sedan...the Uranus Rectum, runs on methane.

[Mister Muggles]

Well now...there’s a headline you dont see every day...

[Sherman Logan]

True. In actual fact, the docs did it on purpose.

Should read “Japan Man Unnecessarily Given Artificial Rectum.”

[bigheadfred]

Don’t know why they had to give him an artificial one when there are real a$$holes everywhere you go.

[SunkenCiv]

I’ve considered getting one of those t-shirts that reads, “If @$$40l#$ could fly, this place would be an airport.”

[thecodont]

Perhaps his lower colon was removed and the end part was re-routed to another artificial created orifice (lower abdomen, perhaps) and he was fitted with one of those special bags.

[bigheadfred]

They sell those in the Capitol’s gift shop.

[Yardstick]

These Japanese game shows have gone too far.

[Candor7]

Next thing you know, pachinko will have its own fad surgery.