Posted on 06/29/2008 8:52:25 PM PDT by A_perfect_lady
I've just seen The Wanted, and now I'm going to review it. There will be spoilers, although it's hard to spoil a movie that is already so mediocre. I went in knowing nothing other than that Angelina Jolie was in it, and it was about some nerdy young man finding out he was very special and had secret powers, and it was his destiny to fulfill them. Does that sound terribly familiar?.
Sure enough, it starts out with a nerdy young man in an office. Our erstwhile Neo is approached by a Trinity-like vixen who drags him through a wild chase and then takes him to meet Morgan (our Morpheus) Freeman.
At first the young man resists this message that he is special and has a destiny to fulfill, but he comes to accept it and goes through his training.
By the end of the first hour, I had come to the conclusion that basically, if you take The Matrix, take away the clean, stylized look, strip away the innocence, wonder, and romance, then add tons and tons of blood and jiggly camera moves, basically, you have The Wanted.
Oh, it's a slightly different storyline. The codes aren't computer codes. They're woven into cloth. Yes, really. It's pretty stupid. Instead of discovering free will to free themselves from the Matrix, they abandon free will and take assassination orders from a big loom. Yes. A loom. Did I mention it's stupid?
The boy who plays the lead is... actually I have no idea who he is. I thought it was Shia LeBeouf for the first half hour. Apparently it isn't, but I'm not even curious enough to look and see who he is. I'm sure he's a nice boy.
Angelina Jolie, gets a few good fight/chase scenes, but mostly she stands around watching The Boy get beat up. Occasionally she and Morgan Freeman exchange knowing looks. In one scene she eats a sandwich while The Boy gets beat up, and I amused myself imagining her, take after take, spitting out the sandwich so her weight doesn't drift up into the triple-digits.
By the time we get to the Pay-Off scene where we find that (imagine sonorous voice here) nothing is what it seems! I had long since figured out who this person 'really' was and who that person 'really' wasn't. It's kind of not a shock. I'll give you a little hint. Ever seen Star Wars? "Luuuuuke..."
Then we have our final big confrontation, shoot-em-up, blow-it-up, blah blah blah. For one of the first times in my life, I was on my feet the minute the credits rolled.
In sum, it's too long, it's too bloody, it's not original, and I think Angelina would look better with bangs and an extra 10 lbs. Do yourself a favor. Don't bother with this movie. Stay home and watch The Matrix again.
puy = put
A superhero? I think he'd get blown alway by the first strong wind to come along.
Thanks for the review. You're a darling.
I don't get to many movies these days, so your review keeps me from seeing even more needless stuff.
Last movie I saw at the movie theater was Prince Caspian. Took my youngest daughter. She has a crush on one Peter. (William Mosley)
I had more fun watching her. ; )
Trust me....if you don’t believe me you could rent a copy if they haven’t all been burned....but I caution you not to do that....
You know, that's one of the few movies with Keanu in it that I haven't seen. I'll generally sit through anything to look at him. But thanks for the warning.
Hand loom, or power? 4-shaft or 8-shaft? Synthetic yarn????
I do like the part where Ethan Hawke tells Winona Ryder that her dress looks like a doily.
"Flashdance," 1984.
Hell, I dunno. It’s a loom. A big, huge loom. The Loom of Doom. In fact, I think they actually called it that, or I might have just seen it on IMDb.
That’s really strange.
We saw it yesterday, and it was just good, mindless FUN. Sorry, but if I went for deep meanings in movies, I’d never go to anything. But there was lotsa gratuitous shooting, car chase scenes and too many people with G-d complexes deciding who lives and who dies.
My biggest problem was the way they treated the rats, but that’s just me.
Aside from Morgan Freeman’s silly rant before the climax, it left out much of the usual “Leftist/Marxist Government=GOOD, Right-wing, gun-toting, knuckle-dragging corporate weenies=BAD” that is infesting everything out of Holly-weird these days.
Yeah, I wasn’t happy about the rat-bombs either. I used to have a pet rat when I was a teenager. She was black and white, her name was Bo, and she used to ride around on my shoulder. Needless to say, I was the creepy girl with the thick glasses. LOL!
I had pet rats growing up - great little pets!
I think they’re pretty cool. I also raised an abandoned baby possum. They are WAY cool. You just put two water dishes out and they’ll use one as a toilet. Very easy clean up. Of course, they aren’t the friendliest critters. But they’re cool.
Before you review a movie, make sure you get the title right.
I’m sorry.
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